


From the Wings

by orphan_account



Category: Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-01-30
Updated: 2011-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-15 06:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 45,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twilight Indie Award Finalist! Edward is content enough to see Bella a few times a year after she has chosen Jacob. Then, something not altogether unexpected happens & Edward is able to help Bella cope with her new circumstances...and maybe able to win her heart again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming and Going

**Author's Note:**

> Following the "Edward left Bella, leaving an opening for Bella to fall in love with Jacob" AU of the Twilight Saga...
> 
> Bella chooses Jacob, Edward shows up after graduation (finally) and saves Bella's life when Victoria and a smaller band of newborns comes to do away with our fair damsel. Edward admits to Bella AND Jacob that he will go insane if he can't even see her and Bella agrees that the occasional visit is allowable. Even Jacob says so; he owes Edward a debt for Bella's life. Not that any of THAT is in THIS story.
> 
> All characters and situations are the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

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It was not my favorite way to begin a visit with Bella. 

For a year, she (and Jacob Black, I admit) had been gracious enough to allow me to spend some time with her every few months.  The freedom to keep in touch with her had eased my eternally-invested heart, for I knew I would love Bella Swan even when she became Bella Black and to the very end of her life. 

Bella knew it too, I think, though she was too gracious to ever say anything.  She merely let me know I was always welcome when I called.  I tried not to call too often and stress that welcome more than necessary.

We had arranged to meet behind her house, where she lived with her father, as we had before.  When I arrived, as twilight touched the treetops and a rain-scented breeze drifted lazily through the woods, I was unsurprised to see Jacob perched on a log just beyond the official boundaries of the yard.

I was about to greet him when I was met with a careful series of mental images.  A diamond solitaire surrounded by leaves crafted in Black Hills gold.  A smallish house, still under renovation, probably somewhere on the Quileute Reservation.  Candles.  Music.  An enormous bed that had been built as an integral part of a bedroom rather than a piece of furniture. 

And finally, an image of my Bella I had certainly imagined in unguarded moments but never fully expected to see:  Her lustrous mahogany hair scattered on pillows below me – below the eyes in which this vision was given to me, so the perspective was Jacob’s – her eyes shivering open in passion, and the awareness of her bare skin, agile limbs wrapped around my body...

I felt as if were a human who had been kicked in the gut and knocked breathless.  “I didn’t need to see that,” I ground out as Jacob rose to his impressive full height.

Jacob was utterly unrepentant.  “I just wanted you to know.  It’s official.”

I had to ask, though I inwardly cringed in anticipation of the answer.  “You’re married?  Aren’t you a little young, Jacob?”

His countenance fell a bit.  “Not yet, no.  Next year. I just wanted you to know how things stood, with us.”

It amounted, I understood, to a male boundary marker in nature.  A clear sign to others in the area that a designated piece of geography had been claimed. I thought it was crude, but admitted it was effective.  “I think I would have understood just by seeing the ring, Jacob,” I managed to say without inflection.  “No need to have been quite so graphic.”

“Still jealous?” Why couldn’t the dog just take his victory without taunting me?

“Of course.  But I’m also grateful to you for allowing me to spend time with her, anyway.”

He nodded, his eyes dropping to the leaf-covered ground.  “And I’m grateful to you for saving her life and killing that leech Victoria after Bella graduated, so I guess we’re even.” 

Not quite.  He had won and he knew it.  “Remember,” I murmured, my voice pitched to carry only as far as his wolf-sensitive ear, “that gratitude will not save you if you ever hurt her.  Ever.  I’ll be waiting.”

His dark eyes sharpened, his stance stiffened, but he controlled himself admirably.  “I’d never hurt her.  At least,” he modified, images flashing in his head that I had not seen, before, “not on purpose.  Not like that.”  Before his eyes now was a younger Bella, yelling at him about something, and I ascertained that they had had at least one fight, during my insane time away from her.  Well, that was something.  “So don’t be waiting in the wings, bloodsucker,” he muttered. “You’ll just get bored.”  He looked up as we both heard the light, somewhat faltering steps of the woman we both loved.  “Here she is.  I’ll just take off, now. I didn’t tell her I’d be, ah, here.”

Of course not. She would have asked why and there was no way Jacob would want Bella to know he intended on sharing those particular memories with me. I nodded as he sped away. 

“Edward!”

“Bella, good evening,” I said, coming to meet her half-way.  I tried to shake the candle-scented images from my mind, so I wouldn’t hear the catch in her voice as she whispered Jacob’s name in a surfeit of passion. Jacob’s memories had always been especially vivid when he shared them with me.  I could only imagine how the wolf pack endured them.

The diamond glinted from her left hand and I smiled a little. “So, it’s official?”

Her blush warmed me.  I had _missed_ that. “Yes...”  Chocolate eyes met my own.  “I, um, brought the pictures Esme asked for...”

Considerate of her to gloss over the fact of her engagement and move forward.  Though I did rather wish to discuss that further, I would not make her uncomfortable. “Thank you.  Would you like to sit down?” I asked, waving at the log recently vacated by her fiancé.  Bella with her blissfully human senses couldn’t catch Jacob’s scent and so was not made uncomfortable.

My discomfort was enough for both of us.  Her personal fragrance slammed into me as it always did when I had been away from it.  I had hunted, of course, but nothing could stop the flaming effect her blood had upon me.  I overrode it, but it was still there. 

She smiled, her gaze careful, but warm.  “So, how is everyone?”

We visited. It was never enough, but it was more than I deserved. If I could have just managed to forget the images Jacob had thrown at me, the hour would have been almost entirely perfect.

I saw her again two more times before the wedding invitation arrived.  Alice, of course, was all for attending, as the invitation had been extended to our entire family.  Had Bella chosen the ceremony to be after dark on our account? It would be like her.

It was a short ceremony.  Bella, on Charlie’s arm, looked radiantly happy.  I was able to dance with her, just once.  It was not enough, but also more than I really ever hoped for, to dance with her again.

She filled my arms, her distance circumspect but relaxed.  “I’m so glad you could come, Edward. You and Alice and everyone.” 

I smiled down into her shining eyes.  Her marriage had cost me no little pain. She would know that.  Still, I was grateful to have been included in the event.  “We wouldn’t have missed it.”  I whispered, “And you look every bit as lovely as I imagined you would.”

She blushed and looked away.  “Thank you.”

Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper danced with her too, under the casually watchful eyes of Jacob’s brethren.  The wolves had bristled at the notion of allowing vampires to the Reservation, but Jacob was Ephraim’s grandson and his word sanctioned my family for the occasion.  But only, we understood, for this occasion.

When it was over and Jacob took my Bella – his Bella, now – away to wherever private place he planned for their honeymoon, my family and I melted away.  I needed, desperately, to find something to do to distract myself.

Esme was saddened, but they all understood when I took off to Europe for almost a full year.  Alice kept tabs on me and, once, they all joined me for a few weeks in Switzerland.

I only called Bella twice, that year.  Only twice.  I wanted to give the newlyweds time.  I wanted to know if I could be strong enough, now that she was in fact married, to stay away from her.  I wanted...  Well, I wanted more than was actually possible, as it turned out.

Still, I managed to live on memories and those brief phone calls.  Bella was shy but proud as she shared some of the lighter moments of life on the reservation as the wife of a werewolf.  No regret did I ever hear to edge her tones. She sounded, at least, truly happy. 

I was happy for her. 

Still, I was compelled to visit, much as we had done before. Not in the new house – it stank of werewolf to me, and Bella knew that was unpleasant for too long a time – but we did meet at her father’s house, in the back yard, as had become our custom.

They had just celebrated their second anniversary at my last visit.  Marriage suited Bella, for all she had privately railed against it.  At the age of twenty-two, Bella Black was even more beautiful in my eyes than she had been at seventeen. 

Seventeen.  Had it been so long?  The years had flown, leaving me untouched.  Bella, though, was enhanced in her growing maturity.  Less clumsy now than before, she worked for a local lab, doing medical tests and reports and helping with research.  Carlisle would be proud of her.  I was. 

  
Darkness moved across the sky.  Her cell phone beeped.  “Text from Jake,” she said, excusing herself to read it. “He invites you to dinner,” she told me, a rather surprised smile curving her lips.  “I think he just wanted to remind me he’s cooked it already.”

I rose off the log and held out my hand to her.  She took it, with all the comfort that she had always shown.  My cold, stony fingers had never bothered her.  “I think I’ll pass, if that’s all right, Bella.”

“You’ll call again, right?” 

I couldn’t stay away.  “I will.”  I walked her to her car and watched as she drove away.  My memories were already playing themselves for me.  Letting me relive my time with her, sparse as it had been, as she went to join her husband.

I stayed with my family in Ithaca for only a day before I had to leave. _Had to_.  The need for solitude overwhelmed me.

“Alice?” 

My sister reached to cup my face in her tiny hands.  “I know, Edward.  You always have to go into seclusion after you see her. We all know.”  Her smile was loving and tolerant.  “Between you and me, and you know I love you, it’s easier on all of us if you take off for a week or so. Just hurry back, ‘kay? We love you.”

My smile was rueful.  “Sorry.”

She shook her head, held up a finger and closed her eyes.  “You’ll be back. Say hello to Zafrina for us.”

“So that’s where I’m going? The Amazon?”  I laughed; I hadn’t any idea.

“Yes,” Alice said decidedly.  “Be safe down there, and watch out for the humans!”

I visited with Zafrina and her Amazonian vampire coven.  The heat and humidity were uncomfortable, but there was always much to learn.  And, of course, the menu was certainly varied from Upstate New York.  Enough to see and do to keep me occupied while that part of myself that would always be Bella’s stayed with her in my mind. 

The best way to spend a month? No. Distracting?  Yes.  And, when the visions Jacob had passed to me were too vivid, too haunting, I was tempted, yes...  But even when one of the lovely and unattached females in this coven invited me to share even a night with them... I couldn’t find it in myself to comply.  My body might have appreciated the release, but I knew I would have a hard time looking Bella in the face when next I saw her. 

“I’m just –” I said, trying to explain it – in Portuguese – to Senna. 

“You’re in love.  We all know that.  But she is far from you, now.”

“Still...”

Senna’s dark eyes smiled in understanding.  “I remember that feeling.  You are still welcome, should you wish.”

It was time to go.

I flew back to New York, half in anticipation, half in dread.  I could not explain the former to myself, but the latter was familiar enough.  Carlisle met me at the airport. Alone.

“Edward,” he said, his expression sober. “Welcome home.” 

“Carlisle, good to see you. How is everyone?”

We walked at a fast human pace through the teeming mass of people.  I took a look into Carlisle’s mind, for that was our customary means of communication.  Prepared to see the latest family moments, I was not expecting what he told me. 

 _We received a letter from the Blacks, addressed to you.  As our friends in the Amazon do not have a mailing address, I was unable to forward it to you._   Carlisle’s mind expressed trepidation and a welling of concern and care for me.  _And you didn’t bring your cell, so I couldn’t even call to ask if we could open it for you.  Next time you do this, please take the phone, okay?  We’ve all been going crazy._

“I’m positive Bella would have nothing to say that would cause you such distress,” I assured him. We were approaching the parking levels and I was almost in a fevered state to get home to the letter. What was it about?

 _The letter was postmarked the day you left for the south_ , Carlisle further elucidated.  _The envelope did not carry her scent, nor was it in her handwriting._

I stopped breathing. Froze motionless for a timeless instant on our way to the elevator that would get us to where Carlisle had already shown me the Mercedes was waiting.  “All right.  Did you find out what it said?”

 _Alice was all in favor of reading it, but she said you had told her to stop checking up on Bella, and she never saw anything, anyway, since Bella’s life was intertwined with Jacob Black’s._

We paced to the sleek Mercedes, Carlisle’s favorite automobile. I rounded on him.  “Carlisle.”  I felt my eyes burning with the need to know what he knew.

And then, he slipped his hand into his jacket pocket and handed me the envelope.  In the same smooth movement, he took my luggage and moved to put it in the trunk so I could read the letter with a minimal degree of privacy.

The handwriting was not my Bella’s.  The letter was dated from the day after my last visit to her.

 

I heard a ripping, grinding snarl in the car as Carlisle got behind the wheel.  He didn’t start the engine and I realized that the snarl was mine.  Fury engulfed every part of me.  

 _Edward!_ The shout was in my mind, but Carlisle’s voice was subdued.  “What is it, son?”  _Your hands are trembling and you’re going to rip that paper in two if you don’t control yourself._  

I bit out her name. “Bella.”  

 _No! Is she..._

He couldn’t even bring himself to think the word but I saw his meaning, and I shook my head, still not trusting myself for more than one word at a time. “No.”

 _Breathe, son.  Breathe.  What happened?_

I breathed, following the doctor’s orders, and calmed myself, still gripping the letter, though it was thoroughly crumpled by that time.  “Bella’s _husband_.  Imprinted.  On someone _else_.”

The wordless shock and dismay from Carlisle’s mind was almost tangible. Typically, his compassion for Jacob and Bella surfaced first.  _That has to be the worst experience for them.  What happened?_

“She’s left, apparently. Here, you can read it. Can I have your phone? I need to call Alice.  Find out if she can find Bella.”

 _Of course._   The phone and letter changed places.  

Alice’s high voice was melodious and curious, all in one.  “Edward! Welcome home!  Did Carlisle bring the letter?  We’ve all been –”

“Thank you. Yes,” I said, rudely interrupting her.  I didn’t care for manners, just then.  My whole body was wound like a coil but without a focus for release.  Even my jaw felt tight.  “I need you to find Bella for me.”

Alice paused.  “I haven’t been peeking, Edward, honest.”

“I need you to, now.”

“But she’s –”

I blew out a harsh breath. “Would you please just do it for me, Alice? I’ll explain when I know.”

Carlisle looked at me reprovingly.  I rolled my eyes.  “She’ll forgive me,” I told him.

“Maybe,” Alice chirped in my ear.  Then, “She’s in some kind of medical lab, I think.”

“Medical? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. She’s wearing a white coat.”

Still raging in my own mind, I shook my head.  “Oh. Right.  She works in a lab. That’s okay. How does she look?”

“Terrible.  Like she hasn’t slept in a month.”

 _That_ was my fault.  I silently cursed myself in five different languages before I trusted my voice again to ask another question. “What about tonight? Where will she be?  Will she be all right for one more night?”

“Hmmm...  Ah. I see an apartment. Small. Dark. She’s taking off the white coat.”

“Where is she?”

“I can’t tell, but, oh wait.  I see her mail in her hand.  Ah.  Olympia. She’s in Olympia.”

Washington. Still.  All right.  “And will she be all right tonight?”

“Yes, I think so...” Then, Alice made a surprised sort of trill.  

“What?” I demanded.

“You! You just showed up in her apartment. Tonight.”  

Relief. Release. The spring that my body had become unwound in that moment and I inhaled deeply, relaxing into the leather seat of the car.  “Thank you.  I guess, then, that I’ll have to collect that welcome home later, Alice. Looks like I’m flying out again.”

“Hmph! And we had a big party all planned, too.”

“Sorry, Alice. For everything. And thank you.”  My mind was already racing, trying to put together a plan.  “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Your cell is in the glove box.”

The non sequitur did not surprise me.  “You’re brilliant and gifted.”

“I know!  Bye! Give Bella our love, Edward.  Really.”

I smiled and closed my eyes. “I will, really. Thanks.”

Carlisle had smoothed the letter against the leather-wrapped steering wheel.  “I am so sorry, Edward. If I had taken the chance to open it, you could have been with her, already.”  _I cannot imagine what this has done to her.  Or to him._

Against my will, I did see his point of view.  Jacob had loved Bella, with true commitment and passion.  Bella had been so happy...  So had he.  No, I didn’t want to feel any sympathy for him whatsoever, but Carlisle compelled me to at least back off on wanting to kill the mongrel.  “Don’t take it on yourself, please, Carlisle,” I said at last, plans running behind my eyes as I spoke. “If I hadn’t felt it necessary to _hide_ for a _month_ –”  
 _  
No, Edward. It’s not your fault.  How could you know?_

“I don’t know. I just feel sick for her.  And, yes, even for him.  No, I’m not going to rip his head off.  I might settle for an arm,” I said, opening my eyes and smiling a little.  

His smile answered mine.  _Much better.  Of course, it’d be hard for a wolf to run with three legs._

“Not my problem.”

 _So I guess we need to get your suitcase from the trunk again.  You’re off? Do you need anything before you go?_

“Forgiveness. I am sorry, Carlisle, for my manner. I hope I didn’t distress you.”

 _Not more than I could handle_ , he informed me, popping the trunk. _If Alice hasn’t done so, I’ll fill everyone in at home. Get your phone.  Good.  Call me when you can._

“I will. And thank you.”

Also in the glove box was an envelope with a good amount of cash.  Alice, as was her tendency, had planned for every contingency.

 


	2. Reunion

Possibilities and strategies flew across my mind as I flew across the country.  Since I had landed in the morning and flown out again at noon, I would be arriving in the middle of the afternoon in Olympia, Washington.

The forecast, of course, was for rain.

Upon landing, my first order of business was to check in with Alice to see if she had managed to find Bella’s full address.  She had, as well as a few other items of interest.  I wondered how she had managed to find them.

“It’s a public record, Edward. It wasn’t that hard,” she said, sniffing in her superiority.  “Is she all right?  Carlisle told us...”  Then, she swore too, using some choice words that sounded rather odd in her musical soprano.  “You know Bella will probably be blaming herself or something,” she remarked eventually as I drove a rental car from Seattle to Bella’s apartment. 

“The notion had occurred to me.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I have to – have to see her, first.”

“Of course.  I wish I were there.”

“Maybe we can work something out.  Later.”  _Much_ later. After I had had a chance to figure out what to do for my Bella. 

Olympia was not familiar to me.  When I arrived in the city, I found the nearest library in order to log on to their Internet and look up Bella’s address, as seen on the mailing label that Alice had spotted earlier.  Once at the apartment building, I was able to find her third-floor door with ease, but it was locked.  I listened.  With each opening of the elevator around the corner from where I waited for her, I listened for the minds of those who came and went, guessing that when I heard _nothing_ , she would be there.

I was right.  Only the sheer relief of being able to see her and the memory of the potent perfume of her blood kept me from feeling smug. I had no right to feel smug.  I had acted childishly and run away for a month, leaving her to handle her heartbreak alone.  What if she had done as she had when she was younger?  When I – when I made possibly the single greatest mistake in my long life and left her? 

Her steps were familiar, their vibrations under my feet were known.  She turned the corner.

“Hello, Bella.”

I was unsurprised to see her pale skin lose all its color.  I was unsurprised when she staggered, half-falling against the wall.

But I was surprised when I heard her say my name, just before she fainted. “Edward,” she murmured, as if my being with her was the most natural thing in the world.

Grateful that no one else was entering the corridor, I held her next to my chest and whispered over her face.  “Bella, love. Wake up, please?  Let’s get you inside.”

After a couple of minutes of this, she did snap awake, her eyes wide and staring, their luminous surfaces so close to tears it would have broken my heart.  “Edward. You’re early.”  Then, “Put me down!”

I laughed softly to myself as I complied. She never had wanted to show weakness.  “All right.  Are you okay?”  I asked, my tone serious.  She was so very pale, her hair looked lank from lack of proper diet and I immediately had the suspicion that she wasn’t making enough to live on, in her lab research assistant job. 

She fished in her purse for some keys.  “I’m fine,” she murmured, predictably.  Then, she unlocked her door and asked, “Would you like to come in?”

“Very conventional, Bella. Yes, I would. Thank you.”

Her apartment was small, as Alice had said it would be.  Dark, until she flipped the lights on. I noticed, then, that she slipped some mail from her purse and recognized that Alice had been spot-on, once again.  Good.  Bella’s personal fragrance was layered everywhere.  The whole place felt so familiar.  Rather like her bedroom, back when we were both still in high school.  Sort of.

I was taking all of this in with one part of my mind while watching her carefully with the rest of it.  She set her purse and mail down, tossed her keys to a small side table, and removed her white lab coat, all with her eyes fixated on me, as if I were a mirage she had to keep in focus lest it disappear from view.

I lifted a hand to her. “I’m here, you know.  I’m more sorry than I can say that it took me this long.”

I don’t know what I expected, but I was overwhelmed almost entirely when she took my hand, called my name and started sobbing against my chest. 

Without really thinking about it, I lifted her in my arms again and cast about for the first available chair.  I found a small sofa that was snuggled neatly into one corner of the small living space.  Settling down into it, I kept her on my lap, grateful that she felt she could do this much with me, despite our history.  I stroked her hair, smoothing the work-day tangles, relishing the feel of her body next to mine again. It had been so long.

When her tears subsided at last, I ventured a question.  “So, do you want me to toss him off a cliff for you?”

Red-rimmed eyes widened before she chuckled a little.  “Jacob?  No, of course not.  Why would you do that?  And how’d you find out, anyway?  What do you mean it took you so long?  I didn’t expect to hear from you for a few more months...”  She pushed herself from my lap; I let her go with reluctance.  “How’d you know where I am? Alice?”

I drank in everything about her. “How do you want that information, Bella?  Before we get into it, do you need some dinner? A human moment?  Anything I can do for you at all?”  I was pining to do something for her, something to ease her distress, her pain.  Anything.

It came, then, as some surprise when she scrubbed the last of the tears from her face and tossed her hair over her shoulders. The pain appeared to be gone.  “Dinner would be great.  I got something from Sue Clearwater just yesterday...  And yes, thank you, Edward.”  Her smile was older, but secrets still lingered in her wet eyes.  “I’ll be right out.  Promise me you won’t disappear?”  She smiled a little as she asked, but I felt a hundred pounds drop on my chest with her question. 

“I promise. I’ll be right here.”

The worst mistake in my life had been leaving her after her eighteenth birthday party.  I would never be able to make it up to her, not for what I did to her then, and for what it left her open to in the arms of Jacob Black. 

Did she see that weighty regret on my face before she turned to go to the bedroom?  Perhaps.  Her face softened in apology before the door closed. 

“Tell me,” I requested a quarter of an hour later as she unpacked a basket of something.  Toweling was wrapped around a rounded bread loaf, and I could smell meat reheating in the oven. 

“You first.”

Leaning back into the sofa, I watched her in the tiny kitchen not half a dozen steps away.  “I was gone.  That’s why I wasn’t here, earlier.  I was in South America, if you can believe it.”

“Researching?”

Her intuition was as sharp as it had ever been.  “No, but that’s an idea I am playing with just now.  I’ll get back to it, all right?”

  
“Sure,” she said, arranging a plate for herself and joining me.  She set the plate of food down and I was distracted.  My question asked itself and she answered after biting her lip.  “From Sue, at the rez.  Later. You first.”

“Eat, then.”  She dipped a chunk of bread into a warm sauce of garlic, herbs and butter and I continued.  “I returned this morning, actually, in New York.  Got the letter – Carlisle brought it to me – and turned right back around for the first flight to Sea-Tac.  I did call Alice, yes, to see where you were, and she caught the address on your mail.”  

Bella’s eyes widened, her bread hanging suspended over the plate on her lap.  “Wow.  How is she? Did she come with you?”

Shaking my head, I just said that Alice was well and sent her love.  “When I got in, Carlisle explained that they saw the address was yours, so they left the letter alone while I was away.  Last time I go on vacation without my cell phone,” I said ruefully. 

“I didn’t write you.”

“Jacob did.”

Pain flared from her every feature.  “Oh.  I’m sorry.”

Exasperation flared from mine.  “Why?”

She put her plate on the rectangular coffee table in front of us and hitched herself around to face me more fully.  I could see the shadows under her eyes, the etched contours of her cheeks and jaw.  Exhaustion poured from her.  “It was...private. What happened.  Well. I guess it’s not, is it,” she went on, more to herself than anything. 

“Want to tell me about it?” 

“What did he tell you?”  She didn’t look at me, but laced her fingers loosely together on her lap.

“Do you want to read it?”

“No,” she snapped. “Just, just tell me.”

I did, making sure to tell her that Jacob told me I should be here. “I can’t tell you how bad I feel, having left you instead of taking Jacob up on his invitation. Or for running off for a month.”

She gave me an exasperated expression of her own.  “You and your guilt complex. You told me once, you know, that you weren’t a superhero. Do you remember?”  I smiled a little, nodding.  “So why do you keep thinking you have to be one?  You don’t have to take the guilt of my world on your shoulders, Edward,” she went on, her voice softer.  “Even if they’re really strong shoulders.”

I let my hand find and play with one lock of her hair where it fell against the sofa cushion. She didn’t object.  Perhaps she didn’t notice...  “He said you hammered out a story?” 

She sighed and pressed her palms together.  “Yeah.  It makes him look like the biggest jerk, and the whole town is mad at him.  Charlie –”  Lips parted, she shook her head.  “Everyone at the reservation knows the truth,” she continued.  “They feel just terrible.  Treating me like a widow, you know?”   
“What?”

“I mean, the women, they make me stuff to eat. I’ve got half a dozen blankets and towels and ... house stuff.  The guys, you know, the pack?  Seth and Quil and Embry and all of them...  Bringing me food. Making sure I’ve got gas for my car, checking the tires, all that stuff that Jake – that Jake used to do for me.  They helped me move, all of them.  Sam and Emily have been terrific.  But in town, it’s been so hard. And at work, just a nightmare.”

I dared to stroke her emotion-warm cheek with my cold finger.  “Why?” 

She leaned into my touch, which made my own emotions run high. I almost trembled as she spoke.  “Why?  Because I have to make like I’m the wronged wife or something.  I have to act like I’m furious. Angry. Bitter. Like Jacob’s this horrible man and I’ve been so wounded and so maltreated and how could he keep this a secret from me and how dare he...”  Before I could say anything, she caught my hand in her own and held it against her throat, as if she needed the support my stone flesh could give to her. “It’s not like that, you know?”

Incredulous, I could only marvel.  “You’re not mad? You don’t think he’s wronged you or any of that?”

She shook her head, her hair falling over my arm in a warm curtain.  “No.  I’ve seen Imprinting. I mean –”  Her voice broke and I felt her heave a sob.  “It might have been nice if it were me, though, you know? That’s all. Maybe that’s why we couldn’t get pregnant, huh?  Because I’m not...  Wasn’t... enough or whatever.  Maybe I couldn’t make good little baby werewolves.”

“It’s not your fault, love. You have to know that.”

She sniffled a little and looked at me. “I know.  But I just wish I could tell everyone else that it’s not his fault, either.  If you could have seen his face...”  Agony crumpled her features.  “Edward, it was the worst I’ve ever seen him, and I hurt him plenty back when we were teens, you know?”

I didn’t, really, but I nodded.  “So what happened?”

“It’s like you said he said.  He Imprinted while you and I were visiting,” she said, her voice more smooth in its cadences.  “He told me that night.  We – we decided to annul our marriage, to clear the way for her.  There wasn’t another option.  I didn’t want to make a big messy divorce. It wasn’t as if he asked for it.  They’re not married yet.  I mean, they’ve only known each other a month, but they will be. I can tell. She doesn’t need to know what happened.  No one in the tribe will tell her.  I won’t tell her.  And if she finds out later, well, by then she’ll know all about Jacob’s werewolf stuff and will be better able to handle what happened.  I hope.”

Her selflessness humbled me utterly.  “Bella,” I said, but I had no words for her but these:  “It can’t have always been this easy.”  
                                  
She laughed; a short, clogged sound.  “No. If you’d been home, you know?” I nodded.  “And come right away?  I would have been a basket case.  But,” she said after a quick breath, “I’m doing okay now. I’ve been through worse.”  She didn’t look at me, but shook her head and looked apathetically at her abandoned dinner plate.  “I’m doing okay.”

I wasn’t entirely sure I agreed with her assessment, but I understood that she had been through worse.  The guilt on that one would never let up for me. 

As if belatedly realizing what she had said, she flashed me a glance and took my hand in both of hers. “I’m sorry, Edward! I didn’t mean to push anything on you. I just meant that I feel I’ve walked this path before, and it was worse, so it’s better now. Really, I should probably thank you.”  Her smile was sincere, and I saw the irony at its corners.

I took the bait.  “Why?”

She took a deep breath and looked off over my shoulder.  “Because, once upon a time, there was a girl who believed in fairy tales.  I guess maybe she still does. The first time Prince Charming rode off alone into the, the twilight, the girl was heartbroken.  But, she was surrounded by friends and family and was sheltered in the place she had learned to call home.”  When I would have interrupted, she smiled at me, much more brightly, with more confidence.  “So later, when she married another mighty warrior, and he had to leave her, she was stronger, inside.  Stronger and more sure of herself.  She didn’t drift into the mists, but was able to stand on her own, more or less.  So, she will always be grateful for that first heartbreak.  It made the second one easier to bear.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, turning, too, so that our hands were joined.  “If you only knew how often –”

With a look, she silenced me.  “Enough.  It’s done. You’ve been forgiven many times over and you forgave me, too.  Enough, Edward.” 

I took her hands up to my lips and kissed them.  “Thank you.”  I gazed into the mysteries of her eyes for a while – I wasn’t counting moments – and finally asked, “What is one thing I could do for you, right now, to make your life a little easier?”

She smiled shyly, and color bloomed in her pale cheeks.  “Aside from taking me away from the hordes of friends and family who keep thinking they know how I feel?  Well,” she went on, more confidingly, “What I’d really like...”  She broke off, biting her lip in the way she always had, that had never failed to provoke subtle hungers in my body. Not the first day I saw her do it, and not today, years later. 

“Yes?”

She cleared her throat and softened her voice, as if telling me a secret.  “What I’d really, really like, Edward, is for you to hum me to sleep. Like you used to.  With my lullaby.  Maybe if you were here I could... I could relax.  Sleep a little. You know.”

I was inordinately touched by this, so that my own voice was unsteady.  “Nothing, Bella, would give me greater pleasure.”

So it was that, within half an hour, she had showered and dressed for bed. I had retrieved my suitcase from the rental car – it had my clothes and books – and we were both ensconced in her bedroom. 

She wore a pale yellow nightgown, a far cry from the tatty sweats she had worn when first I began watching her sleep, years before.  Fresh from a shower, her hair hung in damp tendrils over her shoulders and down her back.  I had changed, too, to a fresh shirt and khakis, from my time in the jungle.  My feet were bare. 

She ducked under her covers self-consciously, not meeting my eyes until the sheet was pulled up to her shoulders.  I sat on a kitchen chair I brought in for the purpose.   Her bed was bigger than the one she had had as a girl, smaller than the one Jacob had built for the two of them. 

“Comfortable?” I asked, smiling a little when she finally looked at me.

“Yes.”

“Then turn off the light, Bella, and close your eyes.” 

She did, a small smile lingering on her lips as I hummed to her the lullaby I had written for a sleeping girl, alone in her room with dreams weaving pleasantly in her mind.


	3. Plots and Confirmations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Rio São Tomás is, as far as I know, a fictional place. I use it in more than one of my stories as a convenient place for the Cullens to be when they go to Brazil. Please forgive my presumption.

Whenever she drifted awake during the hours of the night I was there, still watching her.  It had been a pleasure too long denied me and I didn’t know how long she would allow it, once she had a good night’s sleep.

“You’re still here,” she murmured once.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

“Hush, Bella.” 

She still murmured in her sleep, though, and some of these murmurings were hard for me to hear.  Cries for Jacob.  Muted denials.  Tears that seeped silently from behind closed eyelids.  Then her dreams took a different turn, and she was muttering at her father, her mother, and sighing raggedly.  Painful to listen to, but I still was thrilled to be able to do so.  And then, just before she dove into a deeper sleep cycle, I heard something else that made my breath come fast.

She was humming my lullaby.  Slowly.  But still...mine. _Ours_.  Hers and mine. 

If I had felt welcome to do so, I would have slid beside her on the bed and stroked the hair from her forehead, just listening.  But I did not.  Too many years had passed for that particular familiarity.

The sounds stopped abruptly and her breathing deepened.  She was truly sleeping well.

Her timing was improving too, for it was just at that moment that I could hear the nearly silent vibration of my cell phone, which I had left on Bella’s sofa in the other room.  Keeping her door open, so I could hear the slightest call she might make, I hurried to answer the phone. My family undoubtedly had a few questions.

So did I.

“Carlisle,” I murmured quietly, my eyes trained on the slender sleeping form of the human I would love until the end of time.  “Thank you for calling. I was hesitant to interrupt your night.”  I settled into the sofa and crossed my legs out of habit.

“Edward.  How is Bella?”

I gave him an abbreviated idea, ending with, “She’s sleeping now.  I – I’m not sure what I can do for her, though. I want to – need to – do _something_ , but I don’t know what.  I was thinking of getting her away from this place for a while, but what can she tell everyone?  Charlie thinks Jacob is the next thing to a murderer, I’m guessing, and she has co-workers and...” I let my voice fall with my thoughts.

“Sounds complicated, but...”  Hope edged his voice.

“But what?” I said, latching on to whatever I could to help my Bella.

“Edward?”

“Alice! Have you forgiven me, then?”

Humor laced her words.  “Not yet, but I do feel terrible for _her_ , so I guess we’ll just have to overlook that, right?”  I chuckled softly into the phone and she made some dismissive noise.  “So now that she’s away from the pack and all that mess, I can see her again.  And I don’t see her in Washington.”

Excitement rose within me and I sprang to my feet.  “Where?”

“The jungle, can you believe?  I’m thinking where you were before. That’s where I see her now.  With a glass tank and a microscope.”  She giggled.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. Bella with a microscope brought back instant flashes of memories of our first conversation, in her junior year of high school, years ago...

Well.  “Then I guess I have to work on that.  Thank you, Alice. Do you see yourself joining us?”

“Plural, is it?”

“Think I’m letting her out of my sight again?”

“Nooooo, I guess not.  Really, she gets into way too much trouble.”  She _hadn’t_ , in Jacob Black’s care, but I didn’t feel like dwelling on that.  “Oh yes. This is getting clearer.  Carlisle?”

Carlisle was chuckling a little as he took the phone again.  “All right. Alice has a plan and she wants it to be a bit of a surprise even for you, so I’m going to go.  Call in the  morning?”

Frustrated but still pleased at the willing entrance of my family into this hazy immediate future, I smiled into the phone.  “All right. And thank you.”

I dropped the phone on the sofa and rejoined Bella, content just to watch her; her thick hair twisting like seaweed over her pillow, pale arms embracing a spare blanket, her breathing deep and even. 

“I love you,” I whispered. Being able to say it to _her_ instead of to a memory of her was indescribably healing.  Even if she didn’t hear me.

I watched her toss and turn, murmur and sigh and kick herself free of her sheets all during the night.  When she seemed half-wakeful, I sang to her, so that she wouldn’t need to awaken completely and disrupt what had to be the first night’s sleep she had had in a month.  The way she occasionally pulled the blanket so tightly to her and sobbed Jacob’s name was painful, but I understood. 

If I had been able to sleep, I would have spent years doing exactly the same thing, her name on my lips as I clutched whatever remnant of her I possessed. So though it hurt, I hoped it helped her.  I hoped, too, to be able to take the place of that blanket... Someday... Pathetic? Probably.  Still, I hoped. And she wouldn’t be calling Jacob’s name, either...

The call startled me.  A ringtone from her cell phone that blared far too loudly after a predominantly quiet night. I jumped to my feet before her eyes opened, a curse on my lips.

Her laughter followed.  “It’s just my alarm, Edward,” she said, eyes still closed.  She rolled over the bed to the nightstand on the other side of the bed from where I sat.  “Lemme get it. Sorry to have, ah, _alarmed_ you.”  She giggled in her old way, her beautiful eyes opening with the beginning of alertness.

I groaned at her pun.  “Next time, tell me and I’ll wake you up. I promise.”

She shut the song off.  “Next time?”  Her tone was casual, but her eyes were guarded as she slid out of the bed.  The pale yellow cotton floated past her knees on the other side of the bed.  “Were you...wanting to stay, then, Edward?”

 _Caution_ , I told myself.  My enthusiasm did not predicate her own.  I had to be careful with her. She had been broken more than once, and it was, at root, my fault.  “Not if you don’t wish me to be here.  I had thought I could maybe make myself of some use, you know,” I said lightly.  “Tucking you in, that sort of thing.” 

Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.  “For how long?”

“As long as I’m welcome. As long as you’ll have me,” I said, equally as direct.  She stood there, fingers laced in front of her, but her eyes never left mine as I continued.  “Bella, I admit to being a selfish person. I cannot be happy if you’re unhappy.”  I shrugged, a little helplessly.  “If there is anything I can do for you, I will if it’s in my power.”

Our gazes met and held.  She nodded slowly.  “All right.”

“I had an idea, actually...”  Still trying to keep it light, but the sheer delight I still felt over being with her deepened every emotional overtone, I felt. 

“An idea?”  She blinked rapidly and bent to make her bed.  She never used to be this tidy.  I tugged her sheets up on my side to help.  The blood pooled in her cheeks and I caught my breath.  “For what?”

“For what you said you really wanted, last night.”

“Singing me to sleep?”  She frowned at the blanket she had clung to all night.

“No... Getting away from everyone.”

I heard her heart thump heavily.  “Oh.”  Still so guarded.  I winced inwardly and wondered where my more vulnerable Bella was. Why was she so protective of herself, this morning?  She hadn’t been so much so last night.

Taking a risk, I walked at human speed around the bed to stand beside her, pushing her hair from her shoulder before grazing her jaw with the tip of one finger.  “Bella, what is it?”

“I’m confused, Edward,” she whispered after a few unsteady beats of her heart. Beats that thrummed in my head without mercy. 

She hadn’t seemed confused last night.  I started to offer her my hand, but took it back. Maybe she just needed some time to herself.  “I don’t want to confuse you, Bella.  I just want to help.”

“How?”

I shrugged again. “Would you believe I’ve got a way for you to get away for a while? For as long as you want, even?  No pressure. It’s an actual researching opportunity and you’ll get paid and everything.”  I had called Carlisle at first light, and the plan was in motion, whether or not Bella decided to join us.

I fervently hoped she would.  Sooner, rather than later.  All those hours in the dark, watching her... I had been making some plans of my own.

“A job?  Away from here?”  Hope sparked in her eyes.  “You’re not just saying that?  I know you...” she went on with a crooked smile. 

“A legitimate offer of employment.  Convenient? Yes,” I admitted with a smile and outspread hands.  “I won’t apologize for that.”

Another blush washed under her skin and I was entranced.  “I need a few human minutes,” she murmured.  “Excuse me?”

With a smile, I left at my own speed, closing the door with whisper-softness behind me.  “The prognosis is good,” I murmured after calling Alice.  “At least, from here.”

“Here, too,” she replied.  “Updates?”

“All day as I can,” I promised.  My phone was back in my pocket before Bella’s door opened again.  “Can I get you anything for breakfast?” I asked, to show her I remembered.  “Still eating that fibrous cereal stuff?”

She chuckled.  “No, strictly leftovers today.  But Sue’s food is almost always better with a couple reheats, so that’s good.” 

I kept my expression pleasant as I considered how she was managing.  What if she declined, after all? What if she sent me away?  I’d go, of course, but –

I’d rather not.

She stood in her kitchen, leaning against the sad little counter top.  It was scarred, in places, and made of some strangely textured formica, I thought.  After a sip of orange juice, she pinned me with her eyes, though I was leaning against the wall next to her front door.  “All right.  Tell me about it.  If we’re going to do this thing, I’ll need to build up a plausible story, right?”

If my heart were alive, it would have leapt in surprised pleasure.  Pushing myself away from the wall, I stepped to the kitchen and leaned against her sink, opposite from her.  “Well,” I began, endeavoring to tamp down the anticipation in my voice, “the story goes like this.  There’s a research station near the Rio São Tomás in Brazil.  They’re doing work on indigenous species that live near the piranha there.  Their lab tech became ill with a local bug and had to be airlifted out.  You happen to know one of the center coordinators – because you do – and they told you about the position. The position is for the remainder of the six month grant. If you want it, that is,” I tacked on, not wanting to assume anything, even though her breakfast had been untouched during my brief narration.

“Piranha?”

I smiled a little.  “Have you seen one of them try to skeletonize a vampire before?”

“Good point.”

“You wouldn’t have anything to do with them, though.  Really, it’s a lab job.  Research assistant.  A real paycheck, or we could work on funding for two more years at college for your Bachelors, if you’d rather. Or a combination thereof.”  That was my personal addition, but I could afford it. 

She studied me.  “I’m, ah, guessing that there is – or will be – documentation to back this up?  I, um, don’t want anyone to worry...”

“Absolutely.  We Cullens do everything thoroughly,” I assured her. “We have to.”

“Of course,” she whispered.  “Will I be able to call out and everything?”

Affronted, I pushed off the counter. “Of course.  What do you think we’re trying to do?”

  
Her color heightened, she put her food down.  “Just checking. Sorry.  Didn’t mean to offend you.  I just don’t want Charlie or Renée to freak out if I disappear off the grid for six months, is all.  I want to be able to keep in touch, let them know I’m all right.”  Her breath hitched a little as she edged me out of her way so she could rinse her nearly-full dishes off in the stainless steel sink.  “Charlie calls me every other day, worried.  He, ah, remembers how, um...  How I was, you know. He just wants to make sure I don’t slip away again.”

I grimaced. I would never be able to escape the consequences of that decision.  “It will take me the rest of my existence to make it up to you, Bella...”

She dried her hands before putting them on either side of my face, astonishing me. “I didn’t say that to make _you_ say that.  I only wanted you to know why I felt it was so important Worth offending you.  I didn’t mean to.”

It took all my self-control not to wrap my arms around her right there. I gripped the counter’s edge instead, hoping I didn’t destroy it with the pressure of my fingers.  “Fair enough,” I murmured.  Her eyes closed and I heard her swallow and heard the precious sound of her heart speeding up a little.  My breath came faster, too.  “Bella?” 

She shook her head abruptly, as if waking herself.  “Um. I better get ready for work. I guess.”  She moistened her lips and looked at me again. “I guess I have an alibi to set up, huh?”

I grinned.  “So you’ll come?”

“If you want me.”

 _Loaded_ condition.  “I do,” I said, rather too fervently.

The heat returned to her cheeks as she passed.  I relished the lingering warmth of her body as it was held in the air in front of me, even as her door closed again.

She emerged, dressed in a pair of black slacks and a deep green, short-sleeved sweater.  Her hair was glossy, the front of it pulled back from her face so that it hung strictly down the center of her back like a silken curtain.  Her color was far better than it had been yesterday, too.  I inhaled deeply, smelling her unique scent and smiling incongruously over the flames in my throat.  I hadn’t felt so good in a long time. 

“You look lovely,” I told her.

She rolled her eyes.  “You always were biased.”

“And you,” I countered with a smile, “have never seen yourself clearly.”

She laughed softly.  “So.  What did you have in mind today?”  She bit her lip briefly before asking, “Are you free for lunch?”

She invited me!  Still, I had to decline.  “Any other day, Bella, I’d be there.  But today, I have to, ah, take care of a few things for the alibi.” Including stopping by to see Jacob Black.  “Is there anyone who should know the truth?” I inquired, trying to be delicate.

With a small frown, she studied my eyes.  “You’re going to see Jacob, aren’t you,” she stated flatly.

She had always been so perceptive.  “I wanted him to know I’d received his letter, yes.” And I wanted to see him for myself, to make certain sure that what he had done to Bella was beyond his ability to prevent.  “But I won’t tell him anything more than the alibi, if you’d rather.”

“That’ll be fine. I don’t want him to have too much to keep track of.”  She blew out a breath and tried to smile.  “He’s still in that bedazzled state.”

“Ah.”  Then, “Do you have something for lunch? Should I have something sent to your lab?”

Her laugh bubbled suddenly.  “Now wouldn’t that be interesting? No, actually, I’m fine.  Truly, Edward.  I’m all right.”

I had previously slid a bill from my wallet before she emerged, prepared for just such a contingency and when she turned to get her lab coat, I quickly slid the money into her purse in a side pocket. She wouldn’t see it until later.  “All right then.” 

After walking her through a heavy mist to her car, I followed her to the small, store-front lab and testing center.  If she saw my headlights tracking her, she gave no sign.  Once assured of her safety, I ignored the road conditions and sped to the Quileute Reservation. I knew the address, knew the area, and even knew the house. At least, how Jacob had imaged the house for me, years before.

The fog was lifting as I arrived, but the cloud cover was still keeping the revelatory rays of the sun off my skin as I pulled up in front of Black’s Automotive.  Nothing fancy, but I knew he had a fairly decent living, here.  Entering the glass door, I was assaulted by the scents of fresh rubber, old oils and a unique blood-scent that I had never smelled before.

“Hello,” the young woman behind the counter said.  “Can I help you?”  She was about twenty-one, I guessed, with red hair and freckles.  Green eyes were widely spaced and looked fairly intelligent as she tried to figure out what was wrong with me.  People always did. 

“I’m here to see Jacob Black,” I told her smoothly, meeting her curious gaze.  “Please tell him it’s Edward Cullen.”


	4. "Almost as strong as I feel about you..."

The young woman behind the counter appeared disconcerted as she punched a button.  “Jake?  Someone here to see you.  Edward Cullen?”  Her thoughts were a flurry of confusion, but she did have a true and already deep-seated concern for Jake’s well-being.  That was something.

I listened, my mind scanning the immediate area.  I heard him swearing silently.  No fear in his mental voice, but there was a huge layer of caution.  Sensible.  Then his voice, husky as ever and with no trace of his unease, came through the speaker.  “Thanks, Kendra.  Uh, send him around back, will you? I’ll talk to him out here.  You’ll be all right for a minute?”

“Sure, Jake. No problem.”  She frowned a little, but only shrugged as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at me.  “Sir?  You know where he is? Out back?”

Not immediately, but I could see the image in her head and so I nodded.  “I’ll find him. Thank you.”  He had imprinted on her?  Someone so obviously inferior to Bella in every way?  It baffled me.  How could that happen?  _Canine mating instincts..._

I went through the back door, ignoring young Kendra’s warning that it wasn’t for customers.  “Jacob,” I called, seeing him standing next to a dusty Chevy truck. Not Bella’s old one, but a newer model with chrome rims.  “It’s been a while,” I said, for the benefit of Kendra, who was watching through the plate glass window.

Jacob nodded warily, putting the oil-striped cloth down.  “Edward.  It has.” I could see him stiffen, heard his frantic thoughts.

 _You got my letter?  Is she all right? Where is she?_

I nodded twice in answer to his first two coherent questions.  Murmured, “Olympia” for the third.  “For now.” His keen hearing would catch the words that Kendra didn’t even know were spoken.

“Everything all right with your engine?” he asked me next, waving with a smile to the girl who still watched through the window.  _Is there anything she needs? Anything I can do for her?  I miss her every single day, believe me._

“Still running well, thanks.  There was this other car, though, that I wanted to talk to you about.” 

“Well, come on. Want a drink or something?”  _Let’s get out of here. I don’t want to worry her. She’s never seen someone like you before._   His mind’s voice was pearlized with adoration and that was the only thing that kept him alive.  He had imprinted most certainly.  My poor Bella. 

“Thanks, that’d be nice.” 

Jake pushed the intercom button near the hydraulic lift.  “Kendra honey? Will you be all right for a few minutes?  Mr. Cullen and I will be at the house.”

“Of course, Jake.  Everything all right?”  Her voice was seared with anxiety.

He smiled reassuringly at her distant face.  “Just fine, honey.  I’ll be back in a few.”

“All right.”

On the short stroll to the house I had seen in that one vivid image he had given me years before, Jacob Black replayed the scenes from when he imprinted on Kendra, from that night with Bella, and the half a hundred desperate questions he had.

Within the walls of his home, he cracked on the surface, collapsing on an old sofa, his long legs stretching half across the living room, his head colliding noisily with the wall.  “Oh, man, Edward.  I can’t talk about this with anyone, you know?”

 _Selfish bastard_ , was what I first thought, but then I studied him, heard the sudden jumble of his thoughts and didn’t say it aloud.  “I’m not going to kill you.  I did offer to, you know, but she wouldn’t let me.”  The stench of werewolf in here was almost overpowering. I didn’t bother hiding that from my expression.

He half-laughed, half-sobbed and scrubbed hard at his broad face.  “That’s so Bella.  So, you got my letter.  She’s doing all right?”

“I didn’t get it until yesterday morning, but yes, she is.”

He paled. “Yesterday?”

I was appalled.  “Didn’t you check on her at all?” 

“I had the guys report back and stuff, but they never said...  I guess, I guess I never asked, either.”

“She has appreciated the help,” I said after a moment.  “We discussed a research opening this morning that she heard about.  You have no idea what this has done to her,” I rasped.  “Having to pretend she hates you is more draining to her than anything else.”

He swore under his breath.  “She was so... So careful,” he whispered.  “She came out that one time, about a week or so ago, as any _old friend_ might. I think she needed to see Kendra. Make sure, you know?”

“Hell, that’s why _I_ came out, mongrel.”

“Is that the best you got, Edward?” he asked wryly, pain etched into his features.  “I meant what I wrote to you.  Somehow, the ties that bound me to Bella were completely cut when I saw Kendra, but Bella’s been more than just my wife. She’s my _best friend_. At least... At least she _was_... And that bond isn’t gone.  That’s the one that’s _killing_ me, now.  Probably her too, huh?”

“You know I can’t tell you that. I only know what she’s told me.”

“Does she need anything?”

“No.  Your brothers have been caring for her. She said it feels like she’s a widow.”

He winced.  _Sorry_ , he thought at me.  _Damn it. I wish this never happened._

I couldn’t agree, so I remained silent.

“So, about this job thing?”

“I think she’s only considering it because it hurts so much to have to pretend all the time, Jacob.  She’s sick of it.  Sick of hearing you maligned, if you must know.”

“I never did deserve her,” he murmured.

There, though, I did contradict him.  “No, you did.”  He snapped me a disbelieving look.  “You loved her.  Gave her a human life – a much more normal life – these last few years than she would have had with me. If I had not turned and tried to force her hand.  The regret for that will still be burning in me long after you have become worm-food,” I told him.  “She was truly happy with you, Jacob.  She was,” I reminded him, much as it galled me to say so.  “And you kept her safe,” I added. “Safe in a world that seems to conspire against her.  So no. You deserved her. But _she_ did not deserve _this_. That, I’ll grant you.”

He accepted that after a silent minute.  Then, “So where is she going? When?  How long?”

“To act as a lab assistant for a research team in the Brazilian rain forest.  The initial grant for the project was something like six months, but their other tech got really ill. The director of the project knows her and thought a change of scene would be beneficial, apparently.  I don’t know when she’ll be leaving, but I guarantee you I’ll follow her.” 

 _Convenient_ , he thought at me.

“Yes, it is.  So?”

 _All right. I won’t ask for more information.  Will she – will she be in contact with her family?_

“Yes. Do you think I’m kidnapping her to turn her into a vampire or something?”

“No, no I don’t.  But I will say here, as Ephraim’s great-grandson...”  He rose from the sofa to his full height, crossing his arms across his chest, “if that does happen, I’m guessing it will be with her full consent and wish and it will not affect our treaty.”

Such generosity told me that he had been giving the matter some thought over the last month.  I nodded. “Thank you, Jacob Black.  I wouldn’t have asked your permission, but I am, I confess, relieved to have it. I would not want to break faith with you or your people.”

He looked anxiously toward the door.  “I need to get back to her,” he murmured, and I knew that the pronoun meant Kendra, who would be the only girl in his world right now.  “You’ll be with Bella, right?  Keep an eye on her?  Tell her, tell her I wish her all the best. And that I wouldn’t mind hearing from her, when she’s settled in down there.  Just to know she’s all right. If she wants to.”

“All right,” I said, leaving the house ahead of him.  The stink was so offensive.  “But I can’t guarantee her response.”

“I know.”

“Give Kendra my best. I know she’s worried about you. She thinks I’m dangerous.” 

“You are.”

I chuckled and walked around the garage to my rental car.  That was one thing out of the way.  Next, there really were things I had to do about the research project, so I pulled out my phone and called Alice while I sped to Seattle.

Paperwork, faxing, phoning... So much to get done.  The time frame was dependent entirely upon Bella, but I was thinking no more than two weeks, at the outside.

I was waiting for her at the end of her work day. Twilight had settled comfortably overhead as I tried to lean casually against her car. I say ‘tried’ because I was truly more on edge than I thought I might be.  It had only been a matter of hours, true, but I had been thinking about her every second of the endless day.

What if she changed her mind?

She stepped out of the lab and looked for her car, appearing unsurprised to see me.  Instead, her lips curved in a smile.  “Hello, Edward,” she said in a tone so soft that it wouldn’t have carried beyond her own shoulders.  “I’m - I’m glad you’re here,” she went on, stepping beyond the first row of cars out to her own, which was parked in the middle of the lot. 

“So am I,” I told her when she was within human earshot.  I was surprised at her acceptance of my presence, but enormously gratified.  Almost as good as hearing my name on her lips.  “Would you be interested in going out to dinner?” I asked impulsively. 

“Not until after I’ve had a few human minutes,” she demurred, reaching for my hand in a way that seemed so completely natural that I didn’t notice for a moment.  “But I think, really, I’d rather stay home, if that’s all right. I could use some quiet. We had a busy day, today.” 

“All right.  What if I pick up something for you and bring it back?  Do you have a favorite?”  I wanted her to be able to relax. To take her ease. 

She told me the name of a take-out restaurant that specialized in chicken, and I chuckled before helping her out of her lab coat and into her car.  “All right. I’ll be back with you as soon as possible.”

She looked up at me from behind the steering wheel, her expression poised between tenderness and curiosity.  “I keep thinking I’ll wake up, Edward.  I hope I’m not dreaming. I don’t think I could bear waking up again.”

In an instant, I was kneeling beside her, her face cupped in my palm.  The heat from her skin was a delicious sensation, the burning in my throat its inevitable price, but one I was more than willing to pay.  “You’re awake, love,” I murmured fervently, willing her to trust me, though I didn’t really deserve it. I would try to earn that trust back. I had to.  “You are.  I’ll never be far from you again, if you’ll let me stay.”

Her heart skidded to a halt before jumping and running in a way that was so precious and familiar I couldn’t breathe.  Still, her eyes were shuttered in the waning light.  “All right.  One night at a time, huh?”

I studied her expression.  “One night, one day...  A week... A month...  I’m here.” 

She extended her hand to run tentative fingertips across my face, as if to remind herself of things that – things that used to be so achingly familiar – to me, anyway.  “You’re not breathing,” she murmured.

I smiled.  Inhaled obviously.  “Sorry.  You just have always been able to take my breath away, you know.”

She laughed and the tension was broken.  I rose to my feet again and bid her be careful before going to buy her dinner.


	5. Just in Case

The days passed with Bella giving notice at her place of employment and sharing the news with co-workers and her family. Calling Renée in Florida and driving out to see Charlie that weekend were also involved. I didn’t accompany her on that last visit.  She decided that having me distanced from this trip was the best idea.  “Just in case,” she had said before dropping off to sleep while I watched. 

 _Just in case **what**_ _?_ I asked silently of her sleeping body.  There was, of course, no answer.

While she worked and I planned, I asked her if she would be willing to make the first leg of our trip a weekend to New York. I missed my family and I knew they’d like to see her, too. 

“But not if you don’t want to,” I told her.  “We can go straight from here to Brazil if you want.”

Her cheeks warmed with her blush.  “No, I’d like to see everyone. It’s been too long.  Years.  Since –  Since my wedding.”  Her frown was quick and pained, but she shook her head and, with an obvious effort of will, smoothed her expression.  “When are we leaving?”

A host of arrangements had to be made, but fortunately most of what she did not plan on taking with her she could leave with Charlie.  On their penultimate visit, he came to her place and helped her move out.  It was on their last night, though, that he said he would take her to the airport the following morning.  I listened to all of this from a vantage point just outside his house. 

I was not surprised by his wish to take her to the airport to say goodbye, though it contradicted _my_ wishes in every respect.  Still, our boarding passes were already printed – I had seen to that – and I would meet her at the airport.  I wondered, though, if I would see her before that. 

“Goodnight, kid,” Charlie said as the night wound down.  “I know we don’t say it a whole lot, but I love you.  I’m real proud of you, too.  Even if I’ll worry about ya, down there.  You got your vaccinations and everything, right? So you don’t get that same bug?”

“I love you too, Dad,” she said, her voice muffled.  I could only conjecture as to why, which was frustrating, but only until I remembered I could peek in Charlie’s head.  To an extent.  His thoughts were not clear, but not as shielded as his daughter’s.  They were embracing on the landing at the top of the stairs.  Ah, that accounted for the muffled voices.  “And yeah, I’m all set.  I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Get some rest.”

“You too.”<br />  
Doors closed.  I waited, though...  Waited...

Was her window locked or not?  I had peered into the room that used to be hers, while she and Charlie had been downstairs. It was hers, still. At least for the night.  No curtains hung in the window, now.  There was only the old bed with the old covers, a clear desk and boxes.  Boxes of Bella’s things, that she was storing here until her stint as a research assistant was finished.  I waited.  Waited as I used to for Charlie’s snores to be audible.

By the time they were, I had noted each small change in the yard, the trees, and noticed every car that passed.  I gauged the distance to our old home and had run through the thousands of fleeting moments I had spent just here, waiting, years ago.

Finally, I dropped to her window, peeking in to see if she were awake.

Her smile delighted my eyes.  She had been _waiting_ for me.  “Edward,” she murmured, opening the window with slow caution.  “I had wondered...”

She draped herself in her old afghan and scooted over to one side of the narrow bed.  “Will you –” Her voice faltered and I wondered what on earth she was thinking.  Drove me insane sometimes, I really think so.  “I was just sitting here, remembering...”  Her breath came fast again.  “Remembering.  I was wondering if you would do me a favor.”

“Anything,” I promised immediately.

She angled her dark eyes to meet mine.  “Will you...join me? Just for a little while? Here?  Look,” she whispered quickly, “I even have my old blanket.  See?”

I didn’t bother with human speed.  I merely thought about it and I was there, beside her as I used to be.  The memories ripped through me with pleasure, with pain, with joy and regret.  I inhaled deeply, noting the similarities and differences as I tucked the protective blanket more closely about her slender body.  “Bella,” I sighed at length. 

A sudden tension washed over her palpably.  “It’s my last night here, I think.”

I hitched over to my side so I could watch her expressions.  Pensive lines tugged at her lips as the small worry-marker dipped in her forehead. I smoothed that without thinking.  “How do you mean?”

“I just don’t think I’ll be back here, again.  Sleeping in this room.  Like, like this is goodbye.”  Her whisper skipped over a rough edge and she grimaced.  “Tomorrow...  Things will change tomorrow.”

I had to ask her again, because I couldn’t address her concerns unless I understood them.  “How do you mean?  My family...?  The Amazon?”  I stroked her forehead lightly, brushed her cheek with the back of my fingers.  “What is it that will change, Bella?”

“Me.  I – I’m already changing, I guess,” she said, and I could feel the blood heating her cheek anew. 

Her blush made me hopeful, but I wanted to be careful, too.  “Well, you’ve certainly had more cause to change than many,” I hazarded.  “Are you...pleased?”

“I will be,” she said slowly. 

A shower began then outside the window, the rain spattering noisily on the thin glass.  Memories warmed me and I had to smile.

She saw that.  “Me, too,” she whispered. 

Then, she drifted to sleep.  At least that evening, when she was calling, still, in her soft sad voice for Jacob... At least that evening, I could hold her and tell her I loved her, though she didn’t hear me with her conscious ears.

When her murmurings ceased and the rain came to a temporary halt, I thought I heard something outside in the yard.  Knowing that Bella was a magnet for trouble – had _that_ really changed? – I slipped from her side and moved soundlessly to the window.

A man emerged from the woods to the east, his eyes moving cautiously over the house and the cars in front of it.

 _She’s here_ , I heard him think.  It was Jacob Black.  _Like they said._

From the swift-moving images in his head, I saw that he had had the pack keeping an eye on the house as a courtesy since the imprinting.  They reported that Bella’s car was back in front of Chief Swan’s home. 

Jacob’s eyes shot to the window where I was. I knew he could see me, a moon-pale face in a dark rectangle. 

 _Edward.  Oh, good.  She’s safe, then._

I had to laugh, albeit silently.  I could remember when “safe” would have been the last word he would have used to describe me spending the night with Bella. 

 _Edward?  Can you... Can you come down for a moment?  I wanted to give something to Bella_.  He waved a square of paper.  _A letter._

 _No_ , I shook my head.  Risking a possible noise, I opened the window. “No,” I said, speaking softly enough not to wake Bella but with enough sound to reach his ears.  “Leave her be.  She’s suffered enough. Still is.” 

 _I’ll leave it on her car, then.  You can read it in the morning, if you want. Give it to her if you think it’s okay. I just don’t want her to leave without saying goodbye.  Me, not her.  I owe her that._

I granted that, nodding and closing the window.

 _Thank you_ , he thought.  And then, I heard humor in his mind.  _And, sincerely, good luck._

Curiously warmed by that, I was still smiling when I turned to Bella again.

The pack’s several voices reached me for a few moments.  C _ome on. She’s safe.  It’s okay.  Night. I’m on patrol._

The voices disappeared with the distance, and even Jacob’s vibrant mental presence dimmed.  I wished him well, too.


	6. Different Communications

The visit with my family in Ithaca was all that I could have hoped for, really.  No pressure on my Bella, but with plenty of smiles and “human jokes” that she probably hadn’t heard in a while.  She seemed entirely comfortable, from the moment Alice first descended the stairs and all but landed on top of her.  She and Carlisle discussed techniques for the upcoming research, and he gave her a manual with an official project logo and everything for her use. 

Yes, it was going to be entirely real.  Eventually.

The letter from Jacob I was keeping in reserve.  It was simple. Sweet.  A reminder to her that, stupid as it sounded, he valued her friendship and hoped to hear from her.  That even if she never spoke to him again – which he understood – he would always consider her as part of his extended family. 

He wasn’t eloquent, but he was to the point.  I had to give him that.  I figured I’d give her the letter once we got settled in at the Project.

On the long flights from New York to Rio de Janeiro, I told her about the area we’d be studying, told her about the island that Carlisle had given Esme as a gift, making Bella gasp, and other rambling yarns from my travels in Europe over the past few years.

She didn’t have much to say, but seemed to be content to watch me speak.  I watched her face almost exclusively, as we sat in the second row of the first class compartment.  She expressed some amusement with the in-flight movie on the small screen, was delighted with the service, and sighed with contentment as she stretched out for a mid-journey nap. 

As always, it was pleasure itself just to watch her sleep.  I allowed myself to be happy, relieved beyond measure that her in-flight musings had no mention of pain. Indeed, her mind seemed to dwell on Alice and Emmett and some sort of bet.  She never mentioned Jacob’s name.

I endeavored to remember her human moments, and made sure she had time at every transfer of transport to take care of them.  Finally, after traveling for, she said, “an entire presidential administration,” we arrived at the cluster of hastily constructed buildings near the Rio São Tomás.

“Wow,” she murmured, shielding her eyes from the sun that shone through to the clearing. 

“You like it?” I smiled and fished the keys from my pocket.  “Here’s your key and some access codes for the alarm and everything.  Want to take a look around while I get your luggage?”  She paused, seeming to study my skin in the sunlight. I held still for her.  It had been a while.  Her smile held memories for me, memories of when she did not turn away upon seeing this definitive mark of my kind, but instead believed me to be beautiful.  It was a relief to see in her eyes that she had not changed her assessment in this.

It was another mark of her personal growth – growth I relished – that she set out to explore the small station on her own.  Coding the alarm, unlocking the door, stepping inside.  No uncertainty, but rather as if she belonged there.  Did she smell the sawdust and fresh plaster?  If she did, would she protest as she had used to do? Protest something done on her behalf?

“So, it’s just the two of us?” 

“For now, yes.  Not sure how long it will be that way.”

“Which of the rooms is mine?”

There were two bedrooms.  One was large enough to house several beds, dormitory fashion, the other smaller.  Both had only one bed, at present, and each had its own bath.  All was made with deadwood, concrete, and some recycled materials.  The furniture was functional, looking as if it came from the IKEA catalogue.  “You may choose either. You know that sleeping isn’t a high priority for me.”

“And closets aren’t a high priority for me,” she said, laughing with a blush in her cheeks.  “I, um, like the smaller room.  Very suitable for a lab tech, don’t you think?”

I rolled my eyes. So many times I had tried to give her better than she would accept.  “Your comfort is my first priority,” was all I said. 

“Used to be that my _humanity_ was your first priority...”  She cocked her head to the side a little, studying me.  “Even against your own...interests.”

Was she challenging me?  I was intrigued by the differences I saw emerging in her. Differences I hadn’t really had time to catch in our brief, infrequent visits over the years.  I smiled and picked up her luggage.  “That didn’t work out so well, did it?  Even I can learn new things, you know.” 

We unpacked, she in her room and me in the larger one.  The plan called for Bella and I to work alone for a while.  I wanted that time with her, and I wanted her to be able to work things out with herself, with as little pressure as possible.  She did not need an entire houseful of sleepless vampires listening to her cry herself to sleep, calling her husband’s – former husband’s – name.  I never mentioned _that_ to her, of course, for that was a private matter.  She knew I knew she talked in her sleep, yet she had allowed me to be with her, every night.  But to share these confidences with the rest of my family? No.  I told them she needed some time, yet.

The lab was equipped, but still wrapped in plastic, so we unwrapped each piece of equipment, each box, each glass beaker together, she and I.  When she was hungry, we took a break and she investigated the kitchen more thoroughly while I watched. 

She had just begun telling me a story about a mixed-up test that had happened back in Washington when I heard a voice from the rainforest.  A voice that was familiar but that I had not expected to hear.

“Is Edward Cullen here?”  Zafrina had found me. 

“Edward?” Bella asked, seeing my distraction.

“Um, guests, love.  Will you be all right for a moment if I go to meet them, there?” I said, indicating the general space just within the cover of the rain forest’s shade. 

She rose to look out the window.  “Ah...  Um.  Sure, but they’re welcome, you know.  I mean, I don’t want any, ah, friends of yours to have to stay out there.”

“They’re not exactly vegetarians, Bella,” I said with a smile.  “You’ll be all right?”

“Of course.” 

Then, I remembered.  “Here,” I said, trying to look detached.  “Jacob asked me to give this to you.”  I slid the letter from a pocket into her fingers.  “I managed not to rip one of his arms off, obviously.”

I didn’t worry about the quick, inevitable pallor I saw; it was natural.  I managed, somehow, to leave her alone with Jacob’s letter and go greet my – our – guests.

* * *

“We wanted to welcome you back,” Zafrina informed me.  “And to warn you.  We have heard rumors in the forest of one of us who is seeking out young human women.”

I stiffened and looked, but saw no image in her mind.  “Does his thirst run that way?” I asked, my voice tight, part of myself feeling as if it were already running back to Bella, to make sure she didn’t go anywhere.  The rest of myself was funneling information from Zafrina and Senna into a more coherent idea of what was happening.

“No. He does not hunt them.  He is – is impregnating them.”

I didn’t know I could be any colder than I was.  “Impregnating them...?  On purpose?”

Zafrina glanced quickly about her and sniffed.  “You have a human woman with you.  Is she...?”

“You know how _my_ thirst runs,” I reminded the tall, lean Amazonian.  “She is my guest.  An...old friend, from school.” 

Zafrina and Senna both offered me incredulous expressions.  Then, Senna’s eyes opened very, very wide. “Oh,” she said, in her halting way.  “You have brought _her_ here...”  I saw in her mind the memory of her prior invitation to me, not too long ago, and  if I could have blushed, I might have.

Instead, I merely nodded.  “Yes.”  My mind was racing.  What did I do about this situation?  Take Bella away?  Call my family in earlier than anticipated?  I was sure I could guard Bella alone, but I could not be by her side perpetually – I had to hunt sometime.  Should I tell her of this other vampire?  Would that frighten her?  He would never touch her; I would see to that. Somehow.  “May I introduce you to her?”

“She would not be frightened?” Zafrina inquired, her accent curious. 

I chuckled and shook my head.  “I don’t think so. She has spent a long time around vampires and the idea of our kind.”  I remembered, though, that I had just given her Jacob’s letter; perhaps now was not the best time.  “I shall ask her and, if it is agreeable with everyone, introduce you soon.”

Senna was peering inside the windows, though she stood close to Zafrina, almost at her elbow.  “She is pretty, Edward.  Will she be here long?”

“I don’t know.  She needed – time.”

“Before you change her?” Zafrina inquired, studying Bella through the window.  “You must have great restraint.”

“That is entirely up to her,” I informed them.  “But for now, I do not have plans to do so, no. Which is why I am wondering if I you know anyone who has seen this nomad you spoke of, so I can get an image of him.”  And then, I could hunt him down and kill him before he had a chance to even _see_ my Bella!  A snarl tore out of my throat just thinking about what he was doing. 

“The Ticuna say that the mothers do not survive the births...” Zafrina whispered.  I saw in her mind what she had heard from the indigenous humans of this part of the world and forced myself not to lock down in sheer rage. 

“And the nomad... _knows_ this?” I ground out through clenched teeth.

Zafrina shrugged; humans were prey, not friends, to her.  “I do not know.  I only know what we have heard.” 

“Thank you,” I told them.  What was I going to do? Well, I had two weeks before I would have to leave Bella, just to go hunting.  Two weeks. I would come up with a solution by then. Or I would find this nomad.  Somehow.

Returning inside, I found Bella still in the kitchen, with Jacob’s letter open near her elbow.  Damn, I had let that slip from the front of my mind for the moment, so suddenly worried as I had become regarding the renegade.  Also, the idea that Zafrina had brought to the forefront of my mind:  Changing Bella.  To keep her forever with me.  I didn’t want to dwell on it...

And yet, the barest glimmer of the notion brought to me images of how it could happen.  Inhaling that incomparable scent at her throat, allowing myself to sink my teeth into her body. The memory from Phoenix, where I had sucked James’ venom from her to save her life – I tasted her deeply, then.  Could I stop again, if I were to change her?  Could I stop myself from luxuriating in such a _deplorable_ pleasure?  To bring my venom to her body? To make her mine in the most basic ways?

No.  I couldn’t, could I?  Her humanity, as she had reminded me, was my top priority. _Well, it used to be..._   No!  Alice’s vision of a cold, white-skinned Bella slid before my eyes.  But now...  It was not the impassive face that I saw, there. It was her face as it was now, a few years older.  A few years wiser.  And there was... Was there?  Was there a _smile_ on her lips?  _Could there be...?_

In the moment that this went through my head, I ceased breathing, holding absolutely still while I remembered, imagined, wished...

“Edward?  Is everything all right?” 

I made the decision in that instant not to worry her with even the report of the nomad.  Instead, I told her, “Zafrina and Senna wished to be introduced.  I told them I didn’t think you’d be frightened.”

As I anticipated, Bella’s shoulders stiffened at the mere idea of her being afraid.  “Of course not.  If they are friends of yours, then I wouldn’t be afraid of them at all.” 

“Well, we’ll arrange an introduction the next time they’re, ah, in the neighborhood.”  We exchanged small smiles before I glanced at Jacob’s letter.  “Are you...all right?” 

She grimaced a little and then bit her lip – her usual nervous reaction.  “Yes...  You read it?”  I nodded; so did she.  “So you know.  Okay.  Good.  Um, yes, I’m all right.  I just had the feeling...” 

Drove me to the edge of insanity, just as it always did, when she paused while revealing herself to me. Those precious, hidden thoughts that remained forever covered.  How many miscommunications had we endured...?  Finally, when she didn’t seem as if she would ever finish, I prompted her with soft patience.  “You had what feeling, Bella?”

Blood rushed to her cheeks, but she did not drop her gaze from mine.  “Maybe it’s just me being mental again.  Um.  I had the feeling that _he_ had the feeling that... That I’d be with _you_ next time, if we ever, um, ran into each other...”  Her voice faltered, her blush intensified, but she didn’t release my focus. 

My darling, wonderful, brave girl. She always had been. I felt my breath come faster in sheer admiration.  And I realized that I had it in my power to assure her of something, to eliminate at least one possible arena of future miscommunication.  “Jacob Black has his downside,” I said slowly, measuring my words and her response to them.  “But he sees to the heart of some things.”  Bella’s eyes went wide, her brows lifting into her pale forehead.  I smiled and drew nearer to her, brushing her warm cheek with the backs of my fingers.  Took a breath.  “He knows I love you.”

Bella did drop her eyes, then, but she didn’t move away from me. I found this to be promising.  “Edward...”

Sliding a finger over her lips, I hushed her.  “I love you, Bella Swan. I think you know that?”  She nodded, a warm lock of her hair falling forward to brush my skin like silk.  My throat flamed at the new release of her scent.  “What Jacob probably knew, and what I am now going to tell you, is this:  I had your love once, Bella.  I intend to win it back again.”  Her cheeks, which had been finding their normal shade, darkened with her blush again.  “I’m telling you in advance, so that there is no possibility of any misunderstanding between us.” 

Bella’s lips parted, closed, and opened once again, her expression sliding from wonder to embarrassment and maybe, possibly, acceptance of what I had just told her.  I traced the outline of her face one more time, her heated skin a delight to my fingers.  The racing of her heart settled into its normal pattern before she was able to meet my eyes.  And then, she only said two words. 

“Thank you.”


	7. Piranha Under Glass

Two weeks passed by in what was, for me, a woven tapestry of discoveries.  From the moment Bella awakened – not to that annoying cell phone’s alarm, but to the aroma of her favorite coffee, a taste she had acquired over the past couple of years – to the instant her body relaxed in sleep, we were interacting.  Learning about one another again in ways that were simply impossible during brief – and often chaperoned – meetings a few times a year.

I told her of some of the times that had been harder than others, over the past few years.  She told me of her opinions and thoughts about things as she saw them.  We laughed.  We worked.  I took her to the piranha-infested river, hearing her shriek when I dove in to capture two of the creatures in glass jars. 

I had to laugh at her squeals, as I emerged from the water.  She had her hand over her eyes.  “Edward...!”

“Bella, they’re perfectly safe. _I’m_ perfectly safe.  You won’t have to actually touch them; I’ll do that part.”  I stepped forward, the jars in my hands, to reassure her.

“Edward...!” she said again, holding up her free hand.  “They shredded your...clothes.”

Stunned, I halted with one foot not quite touching the green earth under me.  “Oh.” 

“Towel,” she suggested.  “Trade?”  Her one-word suggestions were accompanied by taking the jars with the fish still inside them and sliding me a towel she had brought for my use. 

“Thanks,” I mumbled, feeling foolish before her.  I reminded myself that my Bella had been a married woman and nothing she was seeing was a surprise to her, certainly.  Except the skin color.  There was a world of difference between Jacob Black’s skin and mine... 

Undoubtedly not the only difference, but I didn’t let any part of my mind dwell _there_.

Towel wrapped around me, I cleared my throat and she peeked at me through parted fingers.  “I believe I am presentable.”

“At the very least,” she murmured.  Then, she shook off a thought – another silent mystery that might drive me mad during the night – and frowned a bit.  “Um, Edward? I was wondering if you could, ah, help with the alibi?”

I had been on the verge of reclaiming the fish.  “How?”

“Take a couple of pictures of me with these... These things? So I can send them to my parents?  A couple of friends?  My camera is in my bag, here...”  She moved her shoulder so that I could dig into her woven straw tote bag. 

“Red Nikon?”

“Yep.”

“All right.” I advised her to lose the bag for a moment.  “Okay. Are you _happy_ to be here?” I teased her. She cocked her head at me and arched one brow.  Delightful, really.    I snapped a few pictures of her and then asked, “Anything else, since we’re here?  And who is taking these for the alibi, since you said you wanted me distant from the story?”  I hadn’t asked her too many questions about her private correspondence of course, but I was curious.  I had finally ascertained her rationale behind wanting my name out of the business, though it had taken me a few days.  As had been true in the past, Bella did not wish my family to get into any trouble on her account.  Just in case she _disappeared_.  The reasons she might have already considered that teased and baffled me. So much I could guess by my knowledge of her, but so much more I knew nothing of and could therefore know little for certain.  Even her dreams were silent on this score.

Bella made some sort of contemplative sound under her breath.  “What kind of pictures do you think? I’ve got some of the lab, and my room...”  Still holding the fish, she moved to stand beside me, eyeing the variegated rainforest.  I could see shadows moving, indistinct with incredible distance, and frowned.  The nomad... The mere _idea_ of him stilled me with the need to protect Bella.  No, there was no need to think it was him.  No...

I dragged myself back to Bella’s question.  “You should probably have some of yourself doing your job.”  I smiled a little.  “You know you only have to ask.”

“All right. I’m asking. And in answer to your question, I have been calling the my immediate supervisor _Dr. Anthony Masen_.  Hope that’s okay?”  She slid a look up to me, her lower lip curled in her teeth. 

Edward Anthony Masen. A name I had only carried with me for seventeen years.  “Dr. Masen, is it?” I snapped another picture of her.  “Well, thank you.  I think I actually have papers in that name somewhere.” 

“Why am I not surprised?”  She glanced down at the towel now secured around my hips.  “Um. Maybe I should hang on to these fish, just in case?”

I chuckled and held out my hands. “Bella.  I can tie a towel securely. Don’t you trust me?”  Immediately, I winced. Not only internally, but externally.  My guard had been down.  She had no reason to trust me. Not really. Certainly, the last month had been solid, but I would never forget –

“Of course, Edward,” she said, as if there weren’t a doubt in the universe on the subject of trusting me.  “I was,” she went on, looking determinedly ahead, “mostly, I guess, not trusting myself.”

A quick glance at her profile showed me another of her brilliant blushes, but I managed not to comment on it.  Instead, I took some pictures of her as we made our way back to our lab-workstation-home and finished up with a picture of her doing something with the slides.  “Wait,” she insisted, laughing self-consciously.  “Edward. Please.  I now have perfect faith in your towel-tying abilities, but I’d feel a lot better if you had some pants on, okay? Please?” 

I took pity on her and went to my room.  Took a shower to get the river water off of me and out of my hair – it stank – before pulling on a pair of jungle-cliché khaki shorts and a white button-down shirt.  That I left unbuttoned.  I was actually feeling rather optimistic, but kept my smug expression in check.  The memories that played in my mind... Memories of nights with Bella in my arms, her lips skimming my stone skin... 

The sound of breaking glass jarred me from my memories and I lunged from my room, instantly panic-stricken.  “Bella!” I called, not seeing her. Her scent was overpowered by one other fragrance:  Her blood.  My whole body pulsed in response. And I do mean my _entire_ body.  Silently pleading for hers... 

“You really should leave, Edward,” she told me after taking a bleeding finger from her mouth.  “Sorry.  I – I haven’t done that in a while. I’ll clean it up just as soon as I fix _this_.”

I quit breathing of course, but I didn’t close my eyes.  “What’re you doing?” I gasped, pointing to the finger she had had in her mouth. I was confused. I was fascinated. I was almost fixated at the mere notion kissing Bella...when her blood was on her lips.

I had to leave.  Immediately. Before I did something unforgivable.  I offered her a pained expression and an apology with the last of the minimal air in my lungs before I flashed frantically from the house.

Outside, I pulled clean, flora-scented air into my body, letting it wash over the sense-memory of the taste of her.  Warm lips.  The so-appealing blood...  No! I could not. Would not. No!

I heard her fumbling with bandages and cursed myself again.  It wasn’t right that she had to deal with this alone.  Never mind that she was completely capable – of course she was – but I felt she shouldn’t have to do so. 

Perhaps it was then.  Perhaps it was then that I thought I would be justified in making my Bella an immortal.  But only – only if she still wished to be one of us.  One of my family.  Once, it had been so important to her. I remembered the urgency, the desire in her voice for that at her junior prom.  Justified.  If she wanted to be with me forever.  We had argued about it all during that golden summer...

Bleach fumes wafted out the screened window and scratched at my awareness.  “Edward?” Her voice was normal, unstressed, and I returned indoors.  “Ah, good. I’m glad you didn’t disappear entirely,” she said with a gentle smile. A forgiving smile that warmed her eyes and made even my iron bones melt.  Three of her fingers were wrapped in gauze, as was the entire palm of her right hand. 

I winced.  “Ouch.” She had cleaned up the glass, the blood and even herself. When she sighed, studying my eyes, I could tell she had even brushed her teeth.  She had to try so hard, just to co-exist with me.  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, meaning it as sincerely as I always had.  Even though it was never really enough.

She shook her head.  “Don’t be.  It’s part of who you are. But,” she said, stepping close to me with a small smile playing with the corners of her lips, “you might consider going hunting. It’s been a while, right?”


	8. Sex and the Single Girl

The panther _had_ had two very good things going for it:  The flavor was one of the closest to human I’d ever tasted and it was the first thing I found when I left Bella alone to go hunting.

I had left her with rather more eagerness than not, admittedly.  Part of my mind was swimming with images of the day, and all of them were, frankly, arousing.  I used to chide myself with wondering how many wrong ways I would want Bella Swan... It would seem that I had added a few more to that long, long list.

Blood-painted lips... Kissing, tasting...

 _No!_

What was the _matter_ with me?  I hadn’t had thoughts like these before. Not about my Bella. Not about anyone. She had always been an angel to me.  Pure, wholly desirable, unattainable.  My body had hungered for hers, yes, but it had never been so...  So primal, before.  So _urgent_. 

I closed my eyes and cast my mind out, _out_ , to listen.  Was there any sentient threat between myself and my Bella?  No.  I had time, then, to find another animal.  I had the feeling I’d need it.

When I returned, Bella was sitting with a book, outside.  I smelled the vague hints of chemicals and coconut and realized she had applied sunscreen to her limbs and I sighed.  If I had skipped out on the second wildcat, I could have been here to do that for her.  Wipe the scent of her blood-streaked lips from my mind.

 _Scent_.  “Bella?”

She closed her book, holding the page with a slender finger.  “Yes, Edward?”

“Did you, ah, have any company?”

She smiled and straightened her shoulders.  “I did. I think it was one of your friends. The non-vegetarians?  You said we’d be introduced, right?”

The scent did not belong to any of Zafrina’s coven.  Fury and terror burst within me, locking my muscles.  I managed to force a word through my lips.  “Who?”

“His name was Joham.  He showed up on the edge, there. Not where you were, but over there.  He was surprised when I told him I was expecting to see him and his friends.”

 _We have heard rumors in the forest of one of us who is seeking out young human women,_ Zafrina had warned me. 

“Did he come close?” I asked, knowing the answer but wondering how she interpreted it.

“Not too close, no.  Just there, at the perimeter.  He said he would come back another time.  That he didn’t want to – to offend you. I think that’s how he put it.”  She smiled sunnily up at me and turned on the chair.  “He was very polite.” 

Polite.  Unoffensive.  So he was a seducer then, this nomad.  He did not pounce as a panther on the prowl, he would create a comfort level.  And then lure his prey...  And they would succumb, I knew.  Not my Bella, of course.  She would not, but the average human female?  Bella was not average, she was extraordinary.

“Edward?” Her voice brought me back from venom-laced thoughts of a pre-emptive strike against the nomad.  Joham, she said his name was.  “Are you all right?”  I felt her eyes on my face but couldn’t summon a reassuring expression for her.  She rose off the lounge chair, her book set aside.  “Do you...know this guy?”

“No.”

I heard her swallow, heard the sudden pounding of her heart.  “Is he...  Is he dangerous?”

Now, I had to make a choice.  Lie to keep her at her ease or tell her the truth and frighten her.  As if she could read my mind – wouldn’t _that_ be something – she traced one finger on my forearm.

“Edward.  I need you to tell me the truth.  Forget the kid gloves, okay? I need to hear the truth. I’m not a teenager anymore.”

“No, but you’re still a danger magnet,” I snapped.  “I can’t manage to keep you safe no matter what I do or where I take you.” 

“Stop it.”  Her gaze was unwavering and I had to remember what she had lived through.  “Tell me so I can _help_ you to keep me safe, all right?  Don’t you trust me?”

Mentally staggered, I could only stare at her.  I gazed into her intelligent brown eyes and realize that here was the crux of our future. Right here and right now.  Could I trust her? Should that even be a question?  Of course I trusted her.

“With everything I am,” I whispered, still struck with the portent of the moment.  “With everything I will ever be.”

Her answer was to smile at me.  Pensively, tentatively, but still she smiled.  And kept silent. 

“Zafrina told me of a nomad,” I said, reaching for her hand and beyond gratified when she twined her fingers with mine.  I was going to tug her inside – What if Joham were still about? I didn’t sense him, but our sight ranged farther than our sense of smell – when she dipped to pick up her book and slipped, her fingers sliding out of mine before I could react, distracted as I was with planning strategies to keep her safe.  So much for vampire-speed! 

Laughing, Bella sat, sprawled in the dirt.

I grinned.  “May I?”

“Oh, sure.”

I scooped her up and whisked her indoors.  “Maybe you’ll want to get cleaned up first?” I suggested, resisting the urge to bury my nose in her hair, to just hold her warmth against my body. 

She rolled her eyes.  “You think? Yeah.”  Then, as I set her down in her bedroom, she eyed me narrowly.  “This does not get you out of telling me, Edward.  Please remember that.”

She emerged eighteen minutes later, wearing a pair of white shorts and a midnight blue tank top, preceded by the usual aroma of strawberries.  “I’m thinking I’m going to need to go shopping soon,” she said, still tugging a comb through a section of her wet hair.  “Get some, um, personal items and like that.”  Her cheeks tinted pink.  “Can we plan a shopping trip anytime soon?”

I was just as happy she hadn’t marched into the room demanding information about Joham, so I was willing to go along with just about anything.  “Any time you wish, love.  Wherever you want to go.”

“I’m not Alice! I just need a supermarket.  Um, _supermercado_ ,” she added in Portuguese. 

“Impressive, Miss Swan.”

Her forehead creased in a frown and I winced. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t be, Edward. It’s – it’s who I am, now, right?”

I thought urgently for something else to bring to her mind.  Saw her hands, still half-tangled in long, damp waves.  “May I comb that out for you?”

She appeared startled.  “Of course. If you want.  It’s kind of a mess.”  Then, as she drew  near to give me her broad comb, she bit her lower lip.  I swallowed. Hard.  “Sure you can do this?” 

“You doubt?” I teased, leading her to the small sofa in the main living area.  “If I pull, though, tell me.”

“I will. And you, Mr. Cullen, will tell me about this Joham character and why he upset you so much.”

Grimacing, I agreed as she settled in to let me comb her hair.  I had to remember not to let my concern about Joham affect the pressure I was putting on fragile human hair.  “You said he was polite, didn’t you?  Didn’t wish to offend?”

“Yes,” she said, her head held straight as she looked out the large window in the wall opposite her.  “Is he not one of your friends, then?”  Carefully, she leaned her head back to look at me, giving me the inviting view of her white throat, where I could see the blue veins so near the surface.  And further, as well, past the blue line of her top to the shadows under the fabric that delineated her curves. 

I took a deep and strangely necessary breath before gently tilting her head forward again.  “No. He’s not a member of Zafrina’s coven. At least he wasn’t as late as last month, when I was here.”

I heard her heart rate increase marginally.  “So, you were here after... After Jake imprinted?  Is that what you meant by being not being with me before?”

There was a stubborn tangle in her hair and I worked it out slowly.  “Yes.  Joham doesn’t belong to that group. He’s a nomad. He roams alone.  Some of our kind do that, if you’ll recall.” I doubted that she would ever forget her encounter with the nomads that had come to us one stormy day while my family played baseball.

“He didn’t strike me as, as _dangerous_ , though.”

I got through that tangle and slowly combed through that section of her hair before moving to the one next to it.  Doing this was soothing, really.  Calming.  Which was good because my muscles wanted to lock in tension just thinking about Joham and his “hobby.”  “That’s part of his talent, Bella.  To make humans feel at ease with him.”   
“Why?”

I cleared my throat and pretended to have to concentrate on another persistent tangle.  “He might be a nomad that Zafrina warned me about.”  I was unable to keep the tension from my voice.  Just speaking through my nearly clenched jaw was hard enough.  “One who seeks to impregnate human females.”

Bella spun suddenly, the tangle in her hair ripping the comb from my hands. I was just grateful that I had the presence of mind to let the thing go so that she didn’t rip the hair from her head, instead.  Mouth open, eyes wide, she bounced to her feet.  “What?  Is that even possible?”

I was surprised, because I couldn’t detect a tang of fear in her blood.  No adrenaline at all. She was surprised, but not frightened.  Not concerned at all, apparently.  “Bella? Is _what_ possible?”  Was she wanting a basic biology lesson?

“Sex! Between a vampire male and a human female!”  She blinked a few times before moving, shoving two lengths of hair out of her face as she paced and retrieved the comb from behind her head.  “You always said it wouldn’t even be an option!” she accused finally, rounding on me with sudden intensity. 

Tossing the comb down on the sofa, she all but stomped into the kitchen.  I watched, torn between amusement and a wary concern.  “I’m trying to tell you about a possible _threat_ , Bella,” I began.

Her hair stuck to the bare skin of her shoulders, leaving wet stripes on the dark blue of her top as she pulled together a quick meal for herself from the refrigerator.  Basmati rice she had cooked earlier in the week, along with some canned chicken – vile smelling stuff – and quickly-heated vegetables.  She didn’t say a word. 

Cautious – for I hadn’t seen Bella in a snit since she had railed privately against marriage once, after she had chosen Jacob Black but before they were engaged – I leaned against the small square dining table and watched her.  “I’m trying to be honest with you,” I reminded her, wishing to defuse her mysterious temper.  “I trust you, remember.”

“Yes,” she snapped, arranging her food on her plate and retrieving a brown paper towel – recycled materials, she had insisted – and flatware.  “I’m just processing.”

Ah, so she understood the danger, I concluded.  Erroneously. I also concluded that she was angry to have been put in such a position.  “I’m sorry, Bella.  Sorry to have brought you here.  Truly, if I’d known, I never would have –”

“Enough! Enough, Edward.  Holy crow!  Do you think I expect to live in a bubble?”  Her plate on the counter, she glared at me now.  “You _told_ me it wasn’t an _option_ ,” she practically hissed. 

She couldn’t possibly be talking about what I thought she was.  That was utterly irrational.  “Do you mean... You’re upset not because a vampire is impregnating human women but because he’s engaging in _sexual intercourse_ with them?  Bella, he is likely seeking you out as his next _victim_...”  The mere notion set my teeth to grinding so she was able to make further assumptions without my input.

“Yes! That’s it exactly! All that time you refused, Edward.  And then you left and then I realized that even though I loved you, it wasn’t going to be enough, was it?”

Unable to believe she was this upset about something so relatively trivial, I started to approach her.  “Bella, love, listen, please.”

She turned abruptly for an acrylic tumbler.  “Why him and not you, huh?”

Exasperated, I halted.  “Bella! You're being absurd!”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say.  “Don't even _start_ , Edward! You're not the one whose husband imprinted on some redheaded bombshell with the IQ of toilet paper! _You're_ not the one half a town is trying to avenge for no good freaking reason. _You’re_ not the one being stalked by some crazed mad-scientist, breeding machine vampire! Don't even _tell me_ I'm being _absurd_!!!”  She slammed the empty tumbler on the counter, catching the edge of her plate so that her entire lunch flew through the air in a basmati arch. 

Both of us just stared at the resultant mess on the floor.

Surprisingly, laughter burbled within me and I angled a brow at her.  "You know, Bella, I've never seen food fly quite like that before."

She sighed and I could see that her quick-to-ignite anger had extinguished itself. With a blush, she shrugged.  "What can I say? It's a gift."  After a quick look at me through her lashes, she choked on a laugh, but I had to laugh as well and soon the two of us were all but falling into the mess she had made on the floor.  She endeavored to cross to the small closet where the broom was kept but she slipped on a piece of that dreadful canned chicken.

I caught her that time.

Smiling into her eyes, I walked her back to the dining table and set her gently in one of the chairs.  “Better now?”

“Yes,” she whispered, obviously embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”

I knelt beside her and looked up into her still-flushed face, tucking a drying strand of hair behind one delicate ear.  “You’ve been under a lot of stress, love. Frankly, I’m kind of relieved that you blew off some steam. Even if it was over something like that.” Sex. She had been angry about _sex_.  I would think about it later.

But then, I cleaned up the mess of her lunch and set about preparing her a new one.  “Now, _beyond_ the sex,” I began after I had mopped the floor, “there is a danger with the situation.  That is what is concerning me.”

“You always said it was dangerous,” she murmured, not looking at me. 

If I could have blushed, I would have.  “Well, apparently not as much – with him – as it might be. The Ticuna people say that the victims, the women, the _mothers_ , well...”

“What?” Bella whispered, swishing her feet nervously against the legs of her chair.  “What about the mothers?”

“They die, love.”

There was a deep, heavy silence.  Then, “Oh.” 

She was silent for the rest of the afternoon, returning to our lab to finish an observation in a petri dish before sitting before the computer and downloading the pictures we had taken earlier that day.

I reviewed them with her, wishing wistfully that the earlier smiles that had sparked in her eyes were still present on her face.  Damn. I had dragged her straight into danger again.


	9. Important Numbers

We didn’t mention sex again.  Not out loud, anyway, but her – her sheer _emotional_ reaction to the topic replayed itself in my mind often.  Far too often, to be honest.  Bella had been a passionate girl and it was only to be expected that her – her _marital experiences_ would have enhanced that aspect of her character. 

Still, she listened to me about the nomadic vampire.  “I’ll stay in while you hunt,” she assured me, her expression serious each time the matter came up.  “I promise.”

“And the windows,” I reminded her on my way out. “Keep them shut.”

“Why?”

I had sighed and cupped her cheek in my hand at the door.  “Your scent, love.  I am not the only one of my kind who finds you...appealing.”

Her subsequent blush only enhanced that appeal, but she did not argue with me.  “As you wish,” she murmured.  “How long will you be gone?”

“Less than a day. Hopefully only a matter of hours.”  Would she miss me or was she just mentally pushing at the restraints that were necessary to keep her safe?  As she had said once, being on house arrest should at least be precluded by poor behavior.

In between my hunts, we had developed patterns in our lives.  She maintained contact with her parents and with my family.  Webcam conversations were important to her; she liked the interaction, she told me.  Liked hearing the voices and listening to the laughter.

We worked. We talked.  We listened to classical music.  At night, I stayed with her in her room...

“Seventeen,” I murmured one day upon her awakening.  Rain pelted the windows of her room and it was, all too briefly, reminiscent of a time long gone between us. 

She blinked and glanced down first to the book I held in my hand.  “Can I see?” she asked, patting the bed next to her body. 

It was my turn to blink.  “Pardon?”

Her smile beckoned.  “Edward.  Please. Come join me.  What’s seventeen?  Or should I say, _who_?”  With a broadening smile and a twinkle in her eye, she wondered, “Me? Having a memory lapse or something?  Twenty-two, almost twenty-three would be more accurate.”

Embarrassed to have said the word aloud at all, I nevertheless joined her at the coveted space by her side in her bed.  She took the book from me and started to peruse the page.   “It’s not in there,” I finally murmured.

“Seventeen?”

“No.”

Lips pursed against another smile, she dropped the book between her leg and my own. “So...  Have you just suddenly decided to spout random numbers?”

I offered her an apologetic smile.  “No.  It’s just been seventeen nights since... Since you’ve been unhappy in your dreams.”  Seventeen nights when the name “Jake” had not been murmured, cried out, sniffled over in my Bella’s night time memory purges.

Bella’s blush was expected.  Her sigh was as well, as she lifted the blanket in her arms.  “Well.  Then I guess I can get rid of this, right?”

Relief coursed through me and I nodded.  “Even though it doesn’t carry his scent any longer, I know I’d feel better if you did, yes.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Catching her chin on my forefinger, I gently brought her gaze to meet mine.  “Why?  You have absolutely nothing – nothing – to be sorry for, my Bella.” 

“It’s just that you’ve done so much for me, Edward.  I –”

“Hush.  Nothing at all, I assure you, has given me more pleasure than being able to be here with you.”  She drew her lower lip between her teeth and my breath caught.  The temptation to capture that lip with my own was almost more than I could resist.

But I did.  Somehow.  I freed her chin and leaned back and away from her.  It felt as if heat were rising from more than just her face, which was disconcerting.  I needed to maintain control. I would not hurt her. Not again.  To put some necessary  – against my inclinations but still – distance between us, I leapt from the bed and flashed to her closet.  “Would you like a replacement blanket?”

She laughed and slid out from under the bedclothes.  “I’ll find something else, Edward. I, um, need a human moment?”

It was weeks before I found out what it was that she had found, but when I did, I was – overwhelmed.

* * *

  
“Edward!  Carlisle wants to talk to you!”

Bella’s voice bounced through to the lab, where I was cleaning the glassware. Oh, my Bella had protested, but only for as long as it took me to look deeply into her beautiful eyes and remind her that I could not bear the idea of her being hurt, again.

After that, she had simply allowed me to care for the delicate glass implements involved in our work without argument. 

“Edward!”

“Coming, Bella!”

I could hear Carlisle chuckle through the small but effective speaker on the computer.  “Where is he? Hunting?”

“No, Carlisle, just easily distracted.”

I rolled my eyes. She had tossed that phrase back at me so many times over the years, as a teasing repayment for my speech to her.  Though it had been a dreadful blasphemy to have left her then, she had reconciled herself when she and Jacob had wed.  It was a topic that we had talked over more than once over the past months.  She was comfortable enough to tease me about things, and I was finally comfortable enough to allow myself to be teased.  Because anything that curled her voice like _that_ was welcome in my ears.  A provocative, playful lilt that captivated me utterly.

Not that she needed any help there.

“Edward,” Carlisle said as I scooted a chair over to sit next to Bella.  She slid her own chair over to make room for me.  “Good to see you.  How close are you, do you think, to wishing for company?”

Bella laughed a little.  “Company?”

Carlisle’s brow lifted. “Didn’t Edward tell you?”

I winced.  “No, Carlisle. I wanted to make sure she was – ready – for company.”

To his credit, Carlisle offered an apologetic smile to both of us. I know that if he had been closer, I would have heard his sincere regret in his thoughts.

Bella sat more stiffly and didn’t look at me.  Damn.  I’d be answering to that, later. My own fault.  “Sorry, Bella.  I had not wanted to rush you,” I murmured now.

She pressed her fingers to her temples briefly.  “When would you be coming, Carlisle?”

The man I looked up to as my own father hesitated and I could see his eyes dart to someone off camera for an instant.  “Esme has plans for expansion of the main house, of course, but we were kind of hoping, Edward, that you could arrange for a few rooms to be added for us so that we have a place to, er, withdraw while Esme is renovating.”

I had to smile a little, in spite of my discomfort with Bella’s tangible isolation next to me.  “I could arrange that, yes.  Three rooms could be constructed quickly.  There is a fair-sized labor pool available.”  I might still wind up doing much of the work myself; Esme had taught all of us a great deal about building over the decades.  Each of my siblings and I had a journeyman’s level of accomplishment in just about all aspects of a building project.

“Good.  Then I won’t keep you.  Just let us know,” he said, his tone one for Bella rather than myself, “when it will be convenient for us to join you, all right?”

“I will,” Bella said.  The use of the singular pronoun did not escape me.  Inwardly, I winced as she continued.  “I think it should be sooner, rather than later, Carlisle.”

It was obvious that Carlisle didn’t know if that was a favorable comment or not, so his expression was carefully set in a pleasant neutral.  “Well, fine, Bella.  I look forward to spending time with you both.”

Alice bumped Carlisle off at that point, expressing her wish to share some new fashions with Bella, and I excused myself.  Clearly, there was a need for some damage control. 

“I thought you trusted me?” Bella demanded later, her tone suspicious and hurt and sarcastic all in one.

The question pierced me like an arrow as I stood at the window, looking out at the rain as it continued to pour.  “I do, Bella.  I told you that.”

“ _Words_ , as your sister is fond of saying.”  Bella shook my shoulder, compelling me to turn from the view to meet her narrowed eyes.  Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, exposing the enticing lines of her throat. I swallowed the burn back as I always did.  “Edward.  How can I – how can we – I mean, you know. We have to communicate, dammit!”  With her hands fisted on her hips, she didn’t quite glare but it was a near thing.  “I know you don’t want to hear about it, Edward, but I have a few years of experience on you in one vital area.”

“Bella –”

“No, wait. My turn.  Listen.”  She moistened her lips and then clamped them tight for a moment, as if to forestall words that wanted to escape from her. 

I waited, as she had asked.  I knew I’d blown it – again – and she deserved the floor.  Experience. Yes, in one or two areas, I would have to grant her that.

After puffing out a breath, she spoke.  “Look.  I know things with Jake didn’t end well, but our marriage was solid.” I turned back to the window. Not to shut her out, but to keep my pained winces from her view.  She didn’t let me take that coward’s way out, tugging on my arm and bringing my focus back to her.  “No, don’t do that, Edward.  Respect me enough to face me, all right?”  I nodded.  “Good. Now, I am not crying after Jake. You know that. He isn’t even in my nightmares anymore, right?”  Her lips tilted in a half-smile and I had to nod again.  “All right.  So listen to me.  It was a solid marriage because we talked to each other.  Often.  He and I were friends before we were lovers, Edward.  You and I – I think we skipped that part back then, you know?  So we have to learn it now.  Now, you have to know I have no objection to seeing your family, right? You know I love them?”

“Yes. I know it. So do they, Bella.”  

“So why didn’t you tell me they wanted to come join us?”

 _Us_.  I held on to that pronoun tightly. It was foolish, perhaps, but if there was an “us,” even a tentative one, I wanted it.  I smiled with a little hope, a little wistfulness, and a tinge of sadness as I unfisted her hands to hold them in my own.  “I guess, Bella, I just wanted you to myself for a little while longer. And, too,” I added with somber sincerity, “I wanted you to have the privacy you needed to get past the nightmares. None of these rooms are soundproofed, remember.”

She linked her fingers with mine, but didn’t look at me, now. Instead, she seemed to study our hands.  “Oh.  Well.  Thank you, Edward.”

“You’re welcome.”

“That doesn’t get you off the hook, though.  Not on my side,” she said, her gaze angled up at me. “You have to talk to me if we’re going to – to, um...”

“Be together?” I whispered, the hope for that requiring me to pull more air into my body. 

“I can’t talk about that yet, Edward. Not yet.”

The disappointment was crushing.  It had only been perhaps three months since Jacob had imprinted.  Still... There was _something_ there. I could detect it with my five senses, if not my sixth.  “Communication goes both ways, Bella,” I reminded her gently.

At that, her head snapped up and she lifted one brow.  “Believe me, I know.”  We stood there, holding hands, our bodies eleven and one-half inches apart from each other.  Tension vibrated, the old electric feeling hummed, but neither of us moved.  “When I can, I’ll tell you,” she promised quietly.  “All right?”

I was at her mercy.  “All right.”

“So! When are we building the rooms for the family?”

Taken aback by the swift change in her manner and the subject, I blinked.  “What?  Um, whenever you wish, Bella.  It is entirely up to you.”

She eyed the rain sheeting the window.  “Not today.”

I laughed.  “No, but we can draw up some plans...”  Daring, I pulled her next to me, my arm going around her shoulders as I led her back to the dining area. 

I was thrilled when her arm went around me, too.  But then, she dashed my hopes when she made one small suggestion.

“I don’t think you’ll need to build three rooms, Edward.  Two will be enough.”

“Two rooms?  Bella...?” 

My mind instantly flew to the worst possible conclusion:  Bella would not be staying with me. She would help me prepare for my family, perhaps stay to visit as a guest, but then she would leave me.  Because I could never be what she needed.  No matter how desperately I wished I could be, she deserved more.  Someone who had never left her. Someone who could give her those children she had cried a little for that first night when I returned to her.

Someone more like that mongrel Jacob who had, at least, made her happy for a few years.  Someone with a heartbeat. 

I closed my eyes and hoped that I was wrong.


	10. Change of Venue

“Edward.  You’re going to cut off all circulation to your nose.”

“What?”  I opened my eyes to see that I was pinching the bridge of my nose.  I let it go and shook my head, not wishing to remind her that I didn’t have a circulation system for her to worry about.  “Sorry, Bella.”  I met her concerned look.  “So, you think we only need to build two rooms?”  I tried to sound nonchalant as my world crumbled.

I didn’t fool her. Not for a moment.  She bit her lip against the smile I saw flirting with her mouth.  “Edward.  I am likely going to need some time alone, but I’m not planning on going anywhere that you don’t take me, all right?”

I took a deep and unnecessary breath.  Communication, she had reminded me, was something she had practiced successfully.  Well.  Perhaps she had.  But I was still in the dark as to her intentions.  “Am I taking you somewhere?”

“Eventually, yes. But first, we have to figure out this building project, right?”  I didn’t answer, but waited for her to elaborate for me.  “I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t be needing the other room.  Unless mine’s too small? We could move...”

Hope and wonder spiked equally within me as the rain started pounding even harder on the roof above.  “We?” I didn’t dare to elaborate. 

Her blush answered for her and I wished once again that I had a living, beating heart so that it could race as hers was.  “Well, you spend all night with me, anyway,” she said softly, not quite meeting my gaze.  “And I thought, you know, we could save time if we only built two rooms, right?  Save resources?  Esme’s probably just going to have to redo anything we get accomplished, so...”  She moistened her lips and lifted her head so that I could delve into her thoughts through her eyes.  “I mean, you know, unless you’d rather no –”

“No!” I blurted, with all the grace of the average seventeen-year-old male.  Her face lit with a grin. A grin of entirely feminine amusement that I could not begrudge her.  “I mean, Bella, I would – would very much enjoy that.  Yes. Thank you.”

“And you’ll keep me cool in this hot, tropical environment?” she teased, her face still that most beguiling shade of pink. 

“Try and stop me,” I replied with a grin of my own.  Then, finally, I cupped her face between my palms.  “See?  I can get started on that part immediately.”

Her heart stuttered in the old way and I heard her swallow.  “Um, thanks, but um...we should probably start to work on the plans, Edward.”  A roll of thunder reached our ears and she giggled.  “I’d offer you a raincheck, but that seems redundant.”

I drew her against myself and sighed happily into her hair.  “Never with you, my Bella.”

The atmosphere within our small corner of South America was, for me, blissful for the remainder of the day.  I could not seem to internalize my good fortune.  I refused to think of Joham, refused to consider the future past the arrival of my family.  Refused to let anything mar my current happiness.  I had dwelt too often in the past on each possible obstacle that could feasibly arise in our relationship.  I feared that far too many of those might have been smoothed over if we had – Bella and I – been able to talk about these concerns between us. 

Not all of them. There were still very real dangers inherent in our relationship, yes, but that day I did not let them darken my very real joy.  Nor dampen her new confidence in adjusting our living arrangements. 

I was buoyant later as we cleared out her room. “This is the bigger bed, Bella.”

She laughed as I lifted the mattress.  “Edward!  I feel so useless!”  She eyed the box-spring with a shake of her head.  “I should help.”

The headboard for her queen bed was already set up, with the frame assembled in the larger of the two current rooms.  She would be moving into what had been “my” room, though I had not spent a night there since we had come to the station.  “You’re far from useless, love,” I reminded her.  “You have a closet to relocate, if you’ll remember.”

“True.”

We worked companionably.  Truly, I could have done it all in a fraction of the time, but that would have taken some of the delight from the day as it turned to evening.  There was something so satisfying in watching her move her things to my room.  My dead heart settled with warm comfort within me, a deep sense of rightness pervading my entire body. 

It almost felt like I was human, again.  Almost.

“Edward?”

“Yes?”  In my head, I called, _Yes, dear?_   My silent laughter went unheard and so unremarked as she brought the last item from her old room:  A basket.  The basket was new; purchased from the local Ticuna tribe the month before when they came to investigate the newcomers to their area.  Woven of strips of thin bark, it was worked into a pattern of dark brown diamonds and dashes interspersed with a light braided pattern. The basket had a lid attached to it by a cord and it was designed to be worn, to be used as a shopping basket of sorts.  Bella preferred to keep her toiletries in it, making a potentially cluttered area quite neat.  I smiled to see her bring it in to my – our – shared space. 

“I wondered how we should, um, manage this,” she said now, standing in the doorframe of the bedroom, looking beyond me to the bathroom door. The light was on, towels hung within, and I had already made sure that the medicine cabinet was stocked with items such as pain relievers, bandages, antibiotic ointment and other such sundries. 

I crossed to take the basket from her, but she clung to it almost like a shield. “What’s the matter, Bella?”  She refused to meet my eyes as the blood rushed up her throat to her cheeks.  I caught her chin on my curled forefinger.  “Bella. Communication? Remember?”

After pushing out a breath that teased my senses with the after-notes of mint, she nodded once. “I’m nervous.”

That much I knew. “Why?”  My delight in our situation didn’t really diminish; it just took a few steps back.  “Second thoughts?”

“No,” she said slowly, the word sliding from her.  “Not really. It’s just the logistics, I guess. I’m –”  She laughed a little.  “I’m used to being with you, Edward, okay? I am. I’m comfortable with you.  You – well. I was thinking, okay, sure, I’ll be sleeping with you and sharing a closet and all that, and that’s not a problem, right?” 

I wasn’t entirely sure if an answer was called for, but I nodded anyway.  Sleeping with me.  She wanted to sleep with me.  I knew she meant in the old way, sharing a bed as we had done during those precious months of her teen years. I had only been invited twice since our reunion; I spent the nights in a chair reading, as a rule, listening to her heartbeat, enjoying just being with her.  After years of knowing she was sharing Jacob Black’s bed, that was like heaven.  Almost perfect.  “I’m entirely willing to make any adjustments you feel you’d like, Bella. You know that, right?”

“I guess it just hit me, that’s all.”

  
“What hit you?”

She hefted the basket.  “Sharing a _bathroom_...”  The worried **V** emerged in her forehead.  “I, ah, forgot a few salient details.”

I wished to spare her all forms of discomfort, so I stepped back from her a pace or two.  “Bella.  If you are referring, love, to your monthly cycle –”

“Edward!”

“Two medical degrees, Bella. I’m familiar with the biological basics.”

Her expression shifted from embarrassed to provocative in the blink of her eye.  “ _Are_ you?”

If I could have blushed at the sudden husky lilt to her voice, I would have.  “Books are informative, Bella.  Behave yourself.”

Her beautiful eyes rounded in shock.  I was almost afraid I’d ruined everything. But then, she laughed.  Laughed and all but sashayed past me to the bathroom, where I heard her arranging her toiletries to her satisfaction.  

I made her dinner that evening, wishing to celebrate.  I set up a hurricane lamp on the small table where she dined, arranging a dish of _arroz-feijao_ with pork – a local favorite – for her.  The rice and beans sounded mundane to me, but Bella had assured me that the flavors were rich and savory. I, of course, trusted her palate implicitly. 

“Thank you!” she called, obviously following her nose as she emerged from our room.  “This is so sweet of you.”

As many nights as we had spent together here, this one was special. I felt almost as a man might on his honeymoon, strange as that might seem.  Enraptured with his love, nervous perhaps, about the coming night.  A barely-contained happiness thrumming throughout my being.  She and I spoke of purely the mundane, however.  Whether we should order furniture for the family’s arrival from Rio or if we should have some commissioned by local craftsmen, built to suit.  We decided not to decorate, but to go only with the basics, knowing that Esme would wish to amuse herself with details. 

“We’ll make sure to make the closets enormous,” Bella reminded me.  “Alice wouldn’t take to even a temporary lack of storage space.”

Our laughter blended well together, I thought.  It always had.

I cleaned up after her meal while she took a shower.  Her usual bedtime routine had been carved upon my memory.

“You know,” I told her when she emerged from the bath – ours, now – dressed in another calf-length nightdress of a lightly patterned cotton, “I used to think of you every night while we were apart.  I would remember your routines.”

She blushed and folded down the sheets on her newly-reconstructed bed.  “I would remember how you felt,” she whispered.  “Every night.”  A rueful light in her eyes, she still tried to smile for me.  “For months.”

I didn’t know how to respond, almost frozen in the worry that whatever I would say or do would be precisely wrong, communication be damned.  Our gazed locked and held though, as she sank slowly to the mattress on “her” side of the bed.  The side closest to the darkened bathroom. 

“I think,” she breathed at last, “I’m ready to have my memory freshened up a bit, Edward.”  She patted the empty space next to her.

I inhaled deeply, my breath catching in my chest as I slid off my shoes and sat on top of the bedclothes.  “My memories are usually perfect you know,” I murmured, tracing the lines of her face, the curves of her lips, with my eyes.  “But...this is new.”  The moon had not yet risen when she turned off her bedside light and settled in under the sheets.  I felt her hand take mine, her fingers lacing with my own as her heart thundered. 

“You can hear that, can’t you?”

“It’s the most precious sound in my world.”

She curled herself around me as her heartbeat slowed to normal.  “Edward.”

“Yes?” I whispered over her head, feeling the delicious warmth of her body penetrate my own cold flesh.

“Thank you.  Thank you for coming for me.”

My arms tightened subtly about her body.  “You are my life, Bella.”

There were several things I probably could have told her, could have said to her, could have asked of her that night.  I wanted to kiss her. To taste her lips, her skin.  To memorize the lines of her body with my fingertips.  I wanted to ask her to stay with me, not just until the “grant” was played out, but forever.

Yes, forever.  I wanted to keep my Bella with me.  Forever.

I kept the words to myself that night.  _Her_ words and hopes and dreams – whatever they were – were locked in her silent mind.  Fifteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds later, she murmured, “Hum for me?”

I did, and she fell asleep in my arms.

Two hours later I rose, feeling the need to examine the perimeter from the windows. I didn’t wish to leave her, of course, but I felt uneasy.  I went about, peering through the shutters on the windows, watching the rising moon illuminating our _home_ while I inspected the boundaries of the cleared land. 

I had grown accustomed to silence.  Spoiled, really.  Bella’s quiet mind – though it frustrated me – afforded me the luxury of companionship without intrusive thoughts.  I had become too used to this silence.  The sudden mental voice startled me.

 _É ainda aqui…  She’s still here._

A low growl rumbled in my chest as I saw the Project with a strange set of eyes.  Through the window of her old room, I saw a vampire previously unknown to me.  I could see him though, as clearly as if it were day.  His eyes were crimson – he had recently fed – and his posture was relaxed. 

He took two steps closer to the building, out from the cover of the trees and into the white light of the moon’s casting.  I opened the window and he froze. 

Everything in me tensed to leap through the window and out at the intruder.  “Joham?” I snarled the name. I didn’t want to attack an innocent nomad. 

He was gone in a flash, running at full vampire speed into the forest as his thoughts confirmed my guess.

Fury pulsed through me, edged with fear.  If he were bold enough to come to the house, in the darkness when she was asleep, he was bold enough for just about anything.  I could not be with her always; I had to hunt.

How could I protect my Bella now?


	11. Building. Kissing. Pushing.

“Come on, Edward, this is ridiculous. I can help. I can!”  Bella’s whining protest left me almost entirely unmoved as I constructed the framework for one of the added bedrooms. 

  
I didn’t require power tools; I was fast enough without them as I hammered nails and mitered corners.  “Bella.  Your job is to track the growth of that microorganism to see if it eats the bacteria during its entire lifecycle.” 

She stepped from the lab to join me in the sunshine, a brief smile moving over her features as she took in my sparkling skin.  Here, I didn’t even try to hide myself.  Shirtless, I felt the rare breeze move over me as I worked. 

Of course I knew she watched me for minutes at a time.  I just never let her know I knew.  I knew because I heard the changes in her heartbeat, in her breathing. Changes that echoed her teenaged responses to me, so long ago.  I knew because I could feel her focus upon me.  Feel the warmth only she could impart by a mere flickering of a heated look.

She was my mate.  My other half. My mind and my body were both well aware of that fact.  I had squandered her love for me once, but I was seeking to earn it back and I was making progress.  I was. 

I had a plan.

“Edward, please?  Let me help?” 

“Trust you with a hammer and nails?” I teased her, grinning down into her scrunched-up expression.  “No.  But if you want to lay out those two-by-fours and refasten the tarp over the drywall, there, that would be helpful.”  Nothing involving sharp implements, in short. 

She seemed pleased enough, though, calling back over her shoulder, “Thank you. I wanted to do something to help get things ready for your family.”

“They’ve always considered you as a part of us, you know,” I reminded her, bending to retrieve a few more nails.  “So you could say our family, if you wanted.”  Would she want to, though?  She never even mentioned becoming an immortal anymore. Perhaps she wouldn’t want that.  Perhaps she would wish to remain human after all...

That would be best for her, of course.  The best thing possible.  Especially if she were content to remain with me as a human.  I would go with her anywhere, be whatever she wished me to be, just to be able to live with her and love her for the rest of her short, vibrant days. 

But we hadn’t spoken of the future, Bella and I.  I had a sense from her that she had a private calendar, almost. An order of things she was taking care of that she would not share with me.  At least, not yet.  I caught a speculative look in her eyes on occasion.  A measuring glance.  She was waiting for me to do something, and I didn’t know what it was.

So I continued on my own private plan to seduce Isabella Swan.  Of course, she helped.

“Oh no!” she squeaked. 

I saw it happening in slow motion. She was unrolling the tarp and finding the various elastic cords that I used to tie it down, rather like how a tent was secured to the ground.  I should have known that even moving a tarp in a small construction zone would have been too much to ask of a newly not-so-clumsy Bella.  Her foot caught on a loop in the cording and she tried to catch herself on thin air.

Fortunately, I was there to catch her first. 

“Edward!” she gasped as I pulled her upright again, saving her from an ignominious, face-first fall that would possibly have brought her porcelain face into contact with the unforgiving edge of the cement board – a moisture-resistant version of dry wall that is preferred by contractors for damp or tropical climates.  “Whoa.  Um, thanks,” she said, her blush suffusing her skin as I held her against me, waiting for her heart to slow.

I had dropped the nails before flashing to her, so both my hands were free.  I gave in to the ever-present temptation to caress her skin, feeling still the heat of her blood beneath it before her blush faded.  “You’re welcome, my Bella.  Always. You know that.”

Then, I decided that Fate had handed me the opportunity I had previously been willing to wait for when Bella’s gaze dropped briefly to my lips.  I swallowed back the burn, the venom that pooled in my mouth, forced myself to block utterly the vision of her lips streaked with her own blood, and inhaled.  Pulling her beguiling fragrance into my body, immersing myself in her as I lowered my head to hers.  I moved slowly, giving her time to turn aside if that was what she wished, but I hoped with everything I had that she would not wish that.  I hoped she would... Hoped she would do just what she did.

How many years had it been since I had had the undiluted privilege of kissing Bella Swan?  I believe it was on the fifteenth of September; two days after her eighteenth birthday.  Years. Years, yes, but only yesterday too.  I felt the heat from her before my cold lips brushed hers. Heard the rushing of her blood under her skin as I wove my free hand into her hair.  My other arm wrapped her up tight against my body, closer than I had even dreamed of holding her again. I was not going to let the opportunity slip from me without this.  This _feeling_.  Her lips molded to mine, moving, conforming.  Mine parted in a sigh – a sigh comprised of contentment, joy, desire and wistfulness.  I did not expect to feel the nearly silent moan vibrate through her chest.  I didn’t expect the sudden feeling that was almost feeding-frenzy-like as she gripped me with her fists and held me to her.

And I certainly didn’t expect to feel the heat of her tongue teasing my lower lip.  The wet heat that triggered my need for her. My horrible, monstrous need for her blood.  The passion that nudged my instincts to bite her, to claim her, to mark her, and to drain her.

“No!” I gasped, as I had long years ago in a meadow in Washington.  I locked my muscles, stopped breathing. “Sorry, my love. So sorry,” I hissed through my tightened airway.  “Just a moment.”

I heard her heart pounding, but I also heard her efforts to breathe steadily in and out.  Then she said what was perhaps the only thing she could have said to take my mind from where it was.

“I’m not afraid, you know. I’ve seen an angry werewolf phasing so I’m not afraid of you, Edward Cullen.”

Thoughts of her blood and her body vanished instantly.  “You what?!”  My muscles loosened and she moved perhaps two inches from me.  I was even able to keep my arm around her body.

“Gotcha,” she murmured, before moving herself subtly against me and kissing me again.

Something about the smile on her face as she turned to go a few minutes later had me wondering:  Was this her on her agenda or on mine?  And really, _did it matter?_

* * *

  
Constructing two mostly-temporary rooms and bathrooms – with Alice-sized closets – took two weeks.  Just two weeks.  I felt the calendar pages looming over me.

It wasn’t that I didn’t wish to see my family – on the contrary, I missed them. Especially in some of the quiet hours of the night, when my Bella was sleeping soundly and there was little to do that would distract my mind from ... from thoughts of Bella.  Always, Bella.  I was just loathe to see them when I was uncertain as to my future with my beloved. 

The kisses out by the tarpaulins were a beginning, but they were a substantial beginning.  We experimented some with pushing what I perceived to be necessary boundary lines in our renewed physical relationship.  Before, Bella had been more eager, I suppose, to push those boundaries.  She did not seem to be so now.  Was it merely that she was no longer a virgin and so was not seeking the sheer experience of sex?  Or was it that she had finally learned to heed my warnings? 

The other possibility was that she no longer felt the same kind of desire for me as she had, before.  That was a possibility that chilled me.  Jacob Black, for all his stench and reversion to basic canine instincts, had been the man who had given love to my Bella when I refused to endanger her in that regard.  Insecure? Yes.  I suppose I was.  But how could I help but compare myself, even if only in my mind, to someone like Jacob Black? 

I definitely did not want my family – most notably Jasper – to perceive my insecurity.  Their teasing would take on epic proportions.

The decision, as I should have known, was taken out of my hands in any event.  Bella, in another webcam conversation, informed Esme that all was in readiness.

“If you don’t mind roughing it,” she added with a light laugh.  The furniture will be delivered shortly, and there are only basic shutters on the windows, Esme, but Edward and I figured you would wish to recreate your own style when you arrive.”

“Thank you so much, Bella! I’m looking forward to doing so. I do hope though,” Esme went on, “that you are willing to share your ideas with me.  Edward has said you’ve developed quite an eye for the local handicrafts.”

She shot me a glance up and over her shoulder, because I was across the room from her.  “Then I suppose I have,” she said slowly.  More normally, she smiled back at the webcam.  “Truly, Esme, the baskets and rugs and blankets are so beautiful!”

“We’ll have to go shopping, then!  Or, ah, perhaps Edward can take us to see where the local people live?” 

“Of course, Esme. You know you have only to ask.”

“But Edward, what about that –”

I flashed across the room to kneel next to her and talk to my adoptive mother.  “When do you think you’ll be ready to join us?”

“Oh, you know Carlisle.  He’s got everything set in motion.  We can be there in a week, if you’re ready.”

 _No!_ I shouted in my head. _Not long enough. Not yet.  
_  
“Lovely!” Bella said, almost clapping her hands in pleasure.  “We’ll look forward to seeing all of you again.”

It was settled.  The conversation over, the webcam shut off for the moment, I drew Bella up to stand beside me. “You’re ready to take on the family, then?” I said, trying to tease her while cajoling myself out of my unwillingness to have this time of our solitude end. 

She held my hands in hers, meeting my eyes fully.  “Not quite yet.  I, ah, need to ask you to do something for me, Edward.”

I brought her hands to my lips, one after the other, to kiss them gently.  “You know you have only to ask.”

She puffed out a constrained breath.  “I need you to give me some time.  Some time alone and away from you.”


	12. Bella's Plan, Part One

I couldn’t draw a breath.  I wanted to, I needed to, but I was unable to open my lungs for the purpose of pulling in unnecessary air.  “Away from me?”  I rasped, unable to free her hands, though she undoubtedly wished for that.  “You’re...leaving?”  I had thought our relationship was progressing well, but had apparently been mistaken.

I thought my heart would break. Again. 

Her eyes widened before she scrunched her face.  “Edward! No! I told you I would only go where you took me, remember?  Of course you remember; you have perfect recall,” she said, the barest hint of a smile smoothing her face.  “But away, yes. And _you_ get to choose where I’m going.” 

At a complete loss, I shook my head.  “Bella, whatever it is –”  Yes, I was ready to grovel, I confess.

She squeezed my hands.  It is likely she used all her strength, but I could barely feel it.  “Edward.  There’s nothing wrong.”  I lifted a dubious brow at her and she bit her lip.  “This is the thing, Edward.  I have been so glad to have been able to – to keep up some kind of a relationship with you over these last years. You know that, right?” 

I nodded, still not sure she wasn’t going to negate everything that had happened in the last couple of weeks – the last couple of months! – and tell me she wanted to go home.  “I have been so grateful, Bella, to have had the opportunity to have spent those times with you.”

“Well, this is the thing.  I mean, sure you’ve seen me through a lot of things. And you have. And I’m so grateful, I can’t even tell you,” she said, rolling up on to her toes to kiss me softly.  “But there’s stuff you don’t know about me, too.  And one of those things is, well...”

“What?”

“I talk to myself. I kind of have to, when I have to think hard about something. It’s like I need a sounding board, you know? But I don’t – sorry – trust anyone more than I trust myself when it comes to, um, making decisions.”

Relief washed through my muscles.  “Oh.  All right  Of course.  But Bella, why can’t you just do that here? You’re alone whenever I go hunting...”

She looked away, beyond my arm to focus on something in her own mind.  I heard her heart – that precious sound – thud unevenly and then smooth its pace.  “I don’t know what your range is, Edward. I don’t know where you are when you can’t hear me anymore. I’m guessing, though, that you could hear me if I shouted for you if you were, say, out hunting?”

“With that nomad, Joham, about? Of course!” I said.  “Your safety is one of my chief concerns, my Bella. You know that.”  I lifted our joined hands to my lips once more, inhaling the scent of her combined with her hand soap. 

She smiled a little absently.  “I know. And I thank you.  But I need to be alone for a couple of days, Edward.  Alone. Able to use my ears as my sounding board without worrying that you’ll hear me. Without thinking of anyone who can hear me.  I have to – to think things through.  And the best way I know how to do that is out loud.  I used to go to the beach, back on the Rez.  The pack tuned me out and the waves muffled my voice if I was being quiet.”  Her smile was wry.  “I don’t have any mufflers, here, Edward.  I want them.”

I paused, studying her face, seeking a clue.  “What do you want to do then, Bella?”  I tried to draw her up against myself again, to see if she’d allow it. She did.  “Should I ask Zafrina’s coven –”

“No,” she said with a snap of her head.  “Not that I don’t trust them – that’s not a problem, but you can see their thoughts, right?”

I grimaced.  “Yes. And you wish to be private from everyone.  I’m sorry.”

“Do _not_ be sorry.  I have a plan.”

I had to smile at the glint in her eye.  “A plan?”

“Yes.  You need to hunt. A good hunt. You used to go on long hunts with your family, I remember.  So I think you should do that again, once everyone is here.  When you go, you can take me someplace.  Someplace safe. A hotel in Rio, maybe. I’ll promise to stay in the hotel the whole time, and then you’ll know I’m safe from Joham, right?  I think you should enjoy bonding with your family – with _our_ family – and knowing I am in no danger will help you with that, right?”

“You know me so well,” I murmured, brushing a lock of hair from her face before my lips skimmed her skin.  “Yes.  But I’ll miss you.”

“Take your cell phone with you?  Call me if you want?  And then I can call you, too.”

What else could I do?  “You’ll let me ensconce you anywhere?” I clarified, making sure she wasn’t going to put up her usual fuss at my spending money indulging her.  “Since you asked? You’ll go wherever I take you?”  The possibilities in Rio were indeed endlessly luxurious. I could take her to La Suite in Rio. The Black Suite would be perfect, giving her plenty of room and a good view.  Many excellent views, actually, of the forest and the beach and the city itself. Yes. I just had to check availability...

Bella watched my expressions shift, her own tilted in amusement.  “Yes, Dr. Masen, I did say that,” she murmured, her beautiful chocolate eyes locked on mine.  “I’ll be gracious and won’t complain a bit.”

“All right, then.  Let me get to the computer and set you up. I know just the place, Ms. Swan,” I said, noting she didn’t even wince at the name this time, “for a young woman to get away from it all.”

Following me to the computer, her bare feet padding almost soundlessly on the hardwood floor, she asked, “So?  My plan is okay with you?”

Sitting in front of the computer, I looked back at her over my shoulder and smiled. “All except for the part where I have to leave you by yourself.  Will you promise to stay in the hotel?  Just so I don’t pull my hair out?”

She grinned at me and gave my hair an experimental tug that sent a sensual jolt right through me.  I closed my eyes and heard her say, “Yes. I promise. Okay?  So long as I am left alone, with no one checking up on me,” she went on, still holding my hair, “or peeking in my windows or listening to me dream...”

I rose again and cupped her face in my hands.  “My Bella.  Should I stop?”  I felt my breath catch in my chest just asking her.  It hurt. 

But only for a moment.  “No, Edward. Not while I’m here.  We’re good, here.”

But would we be after she went away?  To that, I had no answer.  I might have to ask Alice, when they arrived.

* * *

  
“Mmmm, good morning,” Bella murmured, waking up in my arms on the day the family was due to arrive.  She angled her face to my jaw, grazing me with her lips and teeth so that I shuddered in the best of all possible ways.  When she woke up like this, I didn’t worry so much about the upcoming days that we would be apart.  I didn’t worry about what she felt she needed to “talk to her ears” concerning.  I only acknowledged that right at the moment, she was in my arms and practically purring as I reciprocated her overtures. 

“Good morning,” I whispered into her hair, nuzzling her behind her ear and provoking the breathless sounds that captivated me utterly.  Her hands ghosted down my chest, around my waist, to draw patterns at the small of my back while mine busied themselves tracing the piping on her nightgown.  It was a patterned one, this morning.  Something in a subtle pattern.  I think she bought it on one of our non-Rio shopping expeditions.  “Sleep well?”

“Mmm-hmmm. Thank you.  Good thing, too, since we have a busy day.”

“Thank you, Bella, for not insisting upon disappearing immediately.  Everyone will enjoy spending a day with you before we all take you back to Rio and go hunting ourselves.”

“Just promise me you’ll come back,” she reminded me, her fingers stilling on my stone skin as she met my eyes most seriously. 

I nodded, wishing I could extract the same promise from her.  I had tried, once, but she had only eyed me narrowly and said, “I am not going anywhere you don’t take me.  Aren’t you hearing that?”

“Yes, but what if that’s the airport?” I had countered.

She had flung her arms out in a movement that reminded me of Alice.  “You are being utterly absurd!”

We got up, I made her coffee and breakfast and we tidied up the main living areas, the lab, and the new guest rooms.  Fresh towels – Bella had been insistent on that – and new soap and bath gels were in the bathrooms.  Then, she packed. 

“Oh, Edward!” she called from our bedroom while I was looking over the contents of our refrigerator. 

“Yes, love?”

“Please make sure this is tucked away somewhere so that Alice doesn’t feel it necessary to take me shopping before you go hunting?”  Her laughter floated out to me and I had to smile at it.  “She’ll hate me forever for only daring to have one bag!”

“I can’t promise, but I can try.”

She emerged, a sunhat on her head and a pair of flip-flops dangling from her dainty fingertips.  “Look, this is all the website says I’ll need,” she told me, grinning.

“I hope the room has a heater,” was all I managed to say.  What was wrong with me? 

Nothing, likely. Absolutely nothing.  I was just a man besotted, that was all.  Besotted and a bit confused. 

Once Bella had her sandals, sunhat and whatever else she felt necessary packed in a small pilot’s case, we hopped in the four-wheel-drive Volkswagen that I had arranged to be ours for the months of our stay.  I still didn’t know how long I was going to require it, but I was glad to have it.  It was a metallic midnight blue – still one of my favorite colors on Bella. 

We were going to meet the family in the nearest town off what passed for a highway in this corner of the rain forest. The family arrived to meet us in their own rented vehicles – plans to have our usual vehicles shipped were being discussed, pending Bella’s stay with us – just as the usual downpour had forced my love and me to retreat into our car once more. 

But not for long.

“Bella!  Bella!  Oh, it’s so good to see you?”  Alice leapt from the Jeep Jasper was driving before the car came to a slightly sliding, muddy stop close to the Volkswagen.  Her arms were extended to reach my Bella, all but pulling her from the car. 

Jasper grinned at me.  _You have no idea how many times I’ve heard, "Are we there yet?"_

I laughed out loud – surprising my family, I could hear in their thoughts.

Above all of them, though, was one thought I prized above all others.  _Edward, you look so happy. Both of you do.  I could not be more pleased._

Carlisle’s remark upon Bella’s happiness would have to sustain me through the next few days.  I was not as sanguine about her contentment as he appeared to be.

In the drenching rain, our greetings were brief before we all climbed back into our cars and headed back to the research station.

“So!”  Bella said, almost bouncing on her seat, “think they’ll be up for a game today?  Will you be up for one?”

“What kind of game?”  Bella just grinned at me and I had to chuckle.  “I have a very bad feeling about this,” I murmured to her.

“You have been watching Harrison Ford movies far too often,” she replied.  “Males against females. I’ve got just the thing.”

I groaned playfully at her, finding her hand and twining her fingers through mine as we held the gear shift.  “If you’re already decided, then I’m going to guess the men have already lost.”

She pushed herself out of the confines of her seatbelt to kiss me on the jaw.  “Yep.”


	13. Twister and Towels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is unofficially titled TOWELPIRES.

“Twister!” 

My family was gathered in our main living area, standing and sitting as they pleased, dressed casually in the waning light of day.  The windows faced the south, so the sun did not slant in with any harsh tones.  No one’s skin sparkled, either.  It appeared very human, really.  Right down to the human herself, who was beaming.

Bella, all dried after her drenching and dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a blue t-shirt, was incredibly pleased.  “Yes, Twister.  I bet Alice even brought a game with her, right?”

Alice’s musical laugh as she pointed at my Bella was the only answer needed.  “Now remember, Jazz,” my sister told her husband, “Bella had to pick something she could play that would not give any advantages to Edward or myself.”

Esme clapped her hands before hugging Bella for probably the fifth time since seeing her that afternoon.  “Brilliant, my dear.  Absolutely.”

“Yeah! And when she slips – ‘cause you know she will! – she won’t have far to fall!” Emmett crowed. 

The laughter that followed was warm and loving and even Bella joined it.  I sighed with huge contentment.  She belonged with us.  She always had.  I had ruined things, years ago, but I was being given a second chance and what man – mortal or immortal – could ask for more than that?

In only a few of Bella’s own heartbeats – still the metronome of my world – the main floor was cleared of furniture and the woven area rugs.  Alice retrieved the Twister game from the room she was sharing with Jasper – one of the new ones, that still smelled like the finishing tape I had used on the walls – and brought it out.

Carlisle and Esme spread the plastic “playing board” on the floor and we all stood around.  “I remember playing this in 1978,” I murmured, eyeing Emmett with a grin.  “Remember that game?”

“It was really sunny that day, right, and Rose and Alice were threatening to make us learn disco?”  Emmett laughed with contentment. 

Bella’s gaze darted between my brother and me.  “Well? What happened?”

“Boys against the girls, Bells,” Emmett informed her, rubbing his hands together.  “We won.  No disco lessons.”

“Ha! For you, maybe. I’m married to the evil little disco-dancing pixie,” Jasper reminded us with his usual drawl, tracing the side of his nose with one finger as he tucked Alice closely into his side. 

Bella chuckled.  “Well.  This is the plan.  We pair off -- non-mated pairs, so no cheating -- and then we’ll go for an elimination round with the winners.  The winner represents their sex.”

“All right.  What do the winners get?”

“They get to stay dry,” Bella stated, perfectly deadpan.

Six pairs of golden eyes looked at me and I could see my suspicious expression from all of their minds.  I ran a hand through my hair and shrugged.  “Hey, this is her game. I just live here.”

I don’t remember when my family – my whole family – looked so relaxed and happy.  Of course, that was before Bella informed them of the penalty for losing.

Then, they stilled in sheer shock.  Finally, it was Rosalie who held her hands up.  “What? The losers have to catch piranha?”

* * *

  
“Left hand blue, right hand yellow!”  Carlisle told the pair on the plastic sheet. 

Emmett and Alice began their turn, as if they were on an eighties sitcom.  The biggest versus the smallest of us.  “Emmett has the advantage of reach, you know,” I murmured to Bella, who stood between Carlisle and me, a delighted smile warming her eyes. 

Bella nodded without taking her eyes from the mismatched pairing.  “True, but Alice is fast and flexible and she will probably see where Emmett wants to put himself and block him if she can.”

I pulled her up against me and nuzzled her hair. “You’re a scary creature,” I said on a laugh.

She glanced up at me through her lashes.  “I have learned a thing or two over the years, you know.”

“Left foot red, right hand blue,” Carlisle declared.

“Damn!” Emmett said, arching over Alice, who was being very tricky.  “Jazz, you gotta watch your wife.”

“Oh, I am,” Jasper murmured, his eyes fixated on Alice, a smile all over his face. “I haven’t had this much fun watching her in days.”

“Thanks a lot,” Alice muttered, splayed underneath Emmett’s looming figure.  “Next, Carlisle?  And Bella, you so owe me.”

“I only owe you if we lose!”

After three more calls, Alice’s tiny form claimed the only yellow circle Emmett’s right foot could reach without turning himself into a vampire pretzel.  He tried valiantly, but all my brothers winced when he landed on his shoulder, thereby ending any hope of male dominance in this game of Bella’s    .

Carlisle and Bella were next.  I confess to being relieved that it was Carlisle who was paired with her for this game.  I knew that my brothers were devoted to their mates, but Carlisle was perhaps the only one of them whose body I could bear being entangled with hers.  Emmett, possibly in revenge, spun the cardboard arrow gleefully.

“Right foot blue, left hand blue!”

“Emmett! No fair!”

Bella could not compete with Carlisle for speed, though my father did do his best not to completely outclass Bella.  Still, she slipped and fell after half a dozen different acrobatic stretches.  I, of course, did my best not to stare inappropriately.

“One to one,” Rose stated, standing in her bare feet on the edge for her turn. She went up against me, which struck me as a perfect pairing. 

I knew exactly what would happen to whichever side had to go after the piranha and admired Bella’s devious sense of humor in planning this activity.  She knew that none of us would let her actually dive for the vicious fish, so I imagined she had a contingency plan.

“Ready, Rose?” 

“Bring it, Edward.”  My sister’s grin was feral. 

Alice was on the spinner this time.  I was tempted to throw my challenge, but a sharp thought from Jasper warned me against that.  _Damned empath..._  

“Right hand red and left foot green!” 

Rose and I had, in the end, the longest-lasting match.  Bella even had to grab a snack while Rose and I were all but woven together in an arch over the plastic sheet.  I didn’t _think_ she chose the slices of melon to distract me, but I was nevertheless distracted.  The image of her slipping bites of cool, wet fruit between her lips caused me to hesitate in getting my foot to the yellow circle most advantageous to maintain my balance.

“Righteous!” Rose declared, bouncing to her feet while I remained sprawled on the game sheet. 

“Are you all right, Edward?” Bella inquired, her tone sweet and innocent.

Jasper snorted and the rest of my family erupted in giggles.  Bella, as the saying goes, had _played_ me.

Oh, but I loved that woman.

The last pair to face off were Jasper and Esme.  My brother knew he had to win to bring us to a draw and a sudden-death match.  The rule for _that_ would be that each team got to choose who on the other team would be playing.  Bella whispered to Alice that she fervently hoped Esme would manage to pull a win out of this one.  “You know they’ll pick me. I’m the weakest link.”

Carlisle and my brothers chanted Jasper’s name as if they were at a football game.  The girls murmured encouragements to Esme.  I got to do the spinner.

“Ready?  Left foot blue.  Right hand yellow!”  Absurd how much a coven of vampires got into a game like this.  A simple game really, but enjoyable.  Even moreso because of Bella’s laughing encouragements and taunts.

Esme and Jasper grinned mischievously at one another and managed to play almost individually for the first few spins.  It was as if neither wanted to interfere with the other, and they most certainly didn’t wish to be the one to lose it all for their team.  Still, as we harangued them, they consented to move to the middle of the plastic and play there.

I flicked the arrow on the cardboard.  “Right foot red.  Left hand green.”

That made an awkward moment for Esme.  Still, the glint in her eyes was determined as she slid her foot to the necessary circle.  Then, Jasper cheated.

Well, not exactly. We never said that our special talents were _not_ to be used.  So when he sent a humorous wave of emotion to Esme, she started giggling.  Then laughing. Then her guffaw rendered her momentarily unable to react when I called the next color pairs so that Jasper was able to take advantage of the situation while she fell over.

“Jasper Whitlock!”

“Yes, ma’am?” he drawled, extending a hand to help her back to her feet.

“You are so busted.”

“Sudden death round!” Emmett reminded us as the last of the sun’s rays left the room.  Bella and I flipped on some lights before joining our respective groups.  Of course, we men chose Bella to represent the women. 

And they – undoubtedly preying on my weakness for Bella – chose me.

“Now you gotta play for real, Edward,” Emmett implored me.  “I don’t want to go fishing after piranha.”

“It’s not that bad,” I told him, sizing Bella up as my opponent.  The possibilities were...intriguing, to be sure.  I knew her ticklish spots, but I couldn’t get into her head.  And, of course, when she smiled at me in just the way she was now...

I had to really _focus_.  My brothers would dismember me.

Carlisle and Esme took turns spinning and Bella and I moved to the middle of the plastic. 

“Right foot blue, left hand yellow!” 

Somehow, as the colors were called, Bella held my gaze in her own. Every single time.  I kept my speed slow to match hers, but she managed – with far too much precision to be accidental – to brush her body against mine in her quest to remain balanced. 

In the end, she used the “power” that she possessed to win.  The curve of her alabaster throat as she stretched to maneuver around my arm.  The quick addition of a fruit-scented breath.  And the barely whispered, “Please, Edward...”

She had always been able to bring me to my knees.

* * *

  
“Well, Carlisle, when you have the specimens jarred, you’ll bring them back here. We’ve got a tank all ready.  I am so relieved that we can get this done and out of the way so that Edward doesn’t have to make multiple trips to the river.”

Carlisle eyed me, laughter in his gaze.  “I can imagine.” 

I was incredibly relieved he could not read my mind!

Each of us on the “losing” team changed to our bathing trunks. Only I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that it would be the last time we’d ever wear them.  Bella handed out bath towels in a neutral taupe shade to each of the members of the “winning” team.  The men each carried two specimen jars.  We ran, Bella on my back, to the river where I had retrieved the fish before, the night a rich landscape of new colors and scents.

“I am so lookin’ forward to hunting here,” Jasper remarked as we zipped through the trees. 

“Soon, Jazz.  I’ve scouted out some good spots between here and Rio.”

“Excellent!” Emmett roared, leaping through the underbrush. 

On my back, I felt Bella’s body hot against my bare skin.  “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I called back over my shoulder.

I could feel her laugh. “Enormously!”

At the riverbank, we stopped.  Bella had the women step back a few yards from the edge.  “It’s a better view from here,” she told them.  Alice laughed, her dimples deep in her cheeks. 

Each one of my brothers shook their heads at me in disappointment.  I somehow thought, though, that they would forgive me by the morning.

“Let’s not delay,” Carlisle suggested.  “Bella outmaneuvered us all.”

“Way to go, Bella!” Rosalie called for our benefit.

“Hey, I had to do something,” my beloved retorted.  “Play up what few strengths I have...”

Even Jasper was chuckling as we all entered the warm waters of the river, ready to catch ourselves some piranha. 

“Hey! Wait!  Dude, do you see what they’re doing?  Oh, Bella is SO going to pay for this someday.  Man, I can feel them...!  Gross!  Ha, there’s one in the jar.  One more to go.  Bella!!!!!”

And so on.  As I emerged from the river first, my two fish caught as forfeit for having been so susceptible to my love, I was unsurprised to see Bella’s beguiling blush in the starlight.  “Um, trade?” she suggested again, much as she had the first time, extending the towel to me.

I was not thrilled at being so exposed to my mother and sisters, but acknowledged that it wasn’t the first time, and their eyes were trained on their own mates, anyway.  Carlisle was met as he emerged from the river, the towel already held out.  Carlisle, muttering under his breath as to the probable future vampire giftedness of one Bella Swan, in terms of manipulation, set the fish in the loose earth at the water’s edge and wrapped the towel around his hips before tugging the remains of his shorts off.  Emmett had no such compunction to modesty, leaping out of the water while all of us save Rose shut our eyes rather than see him on display.  Once he had his towel secured, he whisked his wife up in his arms, his laughter suggestively playful.  And Jasper took his forfeit in good spirit, leaving the river last as Alice waited for him.  She tossed him his towel. He caught it in one hand, managing to stack and balance the jars in the other. 

Bella paid none of them any heed, I was relieved to note. 

She and I were the last pair to remain on the bank of the river.  “You know,” I said softly, taking one of the specimen jars myself and draping an arm around her shoulders, “that was quite sneaky.  But what would you have done if we’d won?  You know none of us would have let you go after the piranha.”

She angled a brow suggestively up at me.  “I have no doubt one of your brothers would have required you to bring me a towel anyway.” 

At first, a low-grade anger flushed through my body to even think that, but then I realized she was right.  They all treated her – had almost always treated her – as another sister.  And, of course, as my mate. They would never have dishonored her, but she would have been teased equally as much as either Alice or Rose.

And she knew it. And she was quite comfortable it.  And still, even after so many years, her easy acceptance of my family astounded me. 

By the time we made our slow way back home, all the other bedroom doors were closed.  I could hear quiet, lovingly playful murmurs as the women in my family took full advantage of their Twister victory. 

I was just as pleased to retire with my Bella to our room, together.  After she and I had both taken our separate showers, she joined me in our bed, wrapped herself around me, and closed her eyes. 

“Edward?”

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you for sharing your family with me.”

I kissed her forehead before nuzzling her hair.  “Our family, Bella.  Our family.”

That night, I hoped the multiple scents of all of _our family_ would warn Joham to stay away.  Far, far away.

Within a week, I was reminded again to be careful what I wished for.  Damn.


	14. Senses and Scents

I drove her out myself in the Volkswagen.  She bid farewell to my family after she and Esme and Alice had spent some time discussing color schemes and a design theme for decorating the Project’s interior.  Even the lab’s colors were to be changed.  Bella seemed to enjoy Esme’s enthusiasm, but I knew she was content with the appointments already available.

I sensed that she was more relieved than not to escape any further planning sessions as we drove away.  She tossed her hair off of her neck and stretched in the front seat of the car.  “You know,” she said confidingly, her glance sliding up to me from her profile, “I had forgotten how busy it could be with everyone around. I – I missed them, but it was nice being alone, too.”

I chuckled and brushed the backs of my fingers along her cheek. “That’s why my siblings occasionally live apart for a while.  We’ll be in the same location, but in separate homes.  It’s a good working compromise.”  She nodded and said nothing more for a time.  I grew uncomfortable with the silence.  I was uncomfortable, truthfully. Uncomfortable with her need to get away from me. 

“Bella...” I began hesitantly.  “Are you sure...”

“Yes, Edward, I am.  I need to think things through.  Figure some stuff out.”

“And you can’t do that with me?”  What was I lacking that she needed? What was I failing to provide for her?  Was it truly that she just didn’t want to be overheard? This was such a drastic measure!

She shifted under the seatbelt to look at me with her whole face.  “Edward. I’ve already explained myself...”

“I know.  It’s just that...  I’ll miss you.”

“I know,” she whispered.  “I’ll miss you, too.”

We drove in silence, broken only by observations about the scenery, all the way into Rio.

When we arrived at La Suite, I parked the car under a broad-leafed tree and got her lone suitcase from the trunk before I handed her out from the passenger side.  She twined her fingers with mine, but I sensed a distance between us that had nothing to do with the inches that separated her body from mine. Still, I pushed that aside as I checked her in and we took the short ride up the elevator to the Black Suite.

 _Black Suite._   Damn. Was that what was bothering her?  I shouldn’t have been so thoughtless. She had been a _Black_ for two years. 

“I’m sorry, Bella,” I murmured after the door closed behind the amply-compensated porter.  “I should have thought.”

She was turning slowly in the center of the windowed space, surrounded by rich dark hues of umber, black and old gold.  “You can’t possibly be apologizing for this suite, Edward. It’s magnificent.”

I swallowed my apology; obviously I had been in error.  “Shall we take a look at the rest of it?”

“Yes!”  Françoise and Roderigo, the proprietors, had informed us upon check-in that this suite had a full kitchen and all the luxury amenities.  This was very important to me, because I didn’t wish for Bella to have any need or desire to leave this suite the entire time I was away from her.  She would be safe in here.  With the full kitchen and black-walled master bedroom with its jacuzzi tub (large enough for two or three and of course I noticed ) I felt that here was a place my love could walk alone and talk alone to her heart’s content.

She spun slowly after we had poked into all the nooks and crannies of the two-bedroom suite.  “Oh, Edward, this is just amazing. Thank you so much. So much more than I would have considered for myself.”

I felt a little smug, I confess.  She was allowing me to do this for her, allowing it with pleasure lighting her countenance.  “I know, love.  Thank you for allowing me to consider it for you.”

She embraced me then, her arms moving quickly from my waist to go around my neck as she pressed herself confidingly against me.  Her scent filled my personal space, her body fueling desires in me I still fought against every day and every night.  I kissed her slowly, carefully as always, hoping that the lingering of her body against mine meant she wasn’t planning on finding a way to leave me. 

“You’ll stay indoors,” I reminded her.

With a sarcastic smirk, she nodded. “Yes, dear.  Unless you’ll let me use the pool?”

I was torn. There was an infinity pool that had been newly finished, according to the website.  The non-existent edge of it, where we could see it from the balcony, made it appear to be a natural addition to the landscape, not an artificial, chlorinated contraption.  It was the very latest in design.  Yes, I would love for her to be able to enjoy it, but not alone. Not without me.  I didn’t want anyone seeing my Bella in her swimming suit but me, and certainly not without my presence.  But again, I would not want her to be alone either, as she would be more secure in a crowd...

“Never mind,” she said, chuckling warmly against my chest.  “I’ll stick to the balcony for sunbathing and the bath for...soaking.”  

“ _Thank_ you.”

“Now, you should go.”

I pulled away from her. “I know. Everyone will be waiting.” 

“And the sooner you go, the sooner you'll be back.  Call me?” she asked, looking directly into my eyes.

“More often than you’re likely to want,” I assured her, crossing the suite to the notional front door.

“Then go...go.  I’ll stay indoors.”

“Anything you want, charge it to the room, Bella.  Françoise assured me that they’ll see to your every wish.”

“Thank you, Edward.”

“I love you,” I reminded her softly as she held the door open.

I wished...hoped...that she would reply in kind.  I knew she cared for me. I knew she had let Jacob Black go from her heart. These were things I understood.  But how did she feel about me now?  Friends?  With a few benefits?  Not even very many of those?

“I know,” was all she said, brushing my cheek with her hot, human fingertips.  “I’ll remember.  Now, go.  I’ll see you soon.”

Somehow, I managed to leave her, the soft, heavy sound of the door’s closing and the sturdy clicks of the deadbolt locking behind me a comfort.

It was the only comfort I had on my solitary drive back to Rio São Tomás.

* * *

  
 _I hear the car.  He’s coming back.  Edward? You know we need answers, bro. What the hell is up with you and Bella?  You’ve really left her human?  What gives, man?  I don’t see a wedding yet, Edward!  Do we have to listen to those evil-looking fish for the rest of the week?_

Despite missing Bella, I had to smile as I caught the thoughts from my family on the last mile of my drive back to the Project.  As Bella had said earlier, being alone had been nice and I missed it... But I also missed _this_.  Missed my family.  And by the tenor of their thoughts, I knew they had missed me as well.  Missed us, Bella and me.  And they wished us well.

After I pulled in to the packed-earth courtyard, my entire family swarmed out of doors and into the slanting sunlight of the early afternoon.  Everyone’s skin shone diamond-like, their movements making me blink as I readjusted myself to seeing all of them like this, all at once, after months of seeing only Bella in the sunshine.

The only vampires I’d seen had been Zafrina’s coven and...Joham the nomad.

 _Uh-oh.  Edward?  Who is this guy? What’s a strange vampire doing here in a few days?_

I grimaced.  “All right, all right,” I said, holding my hands up in mock-surrender.  “First.  That one, Alice, is a local nomad. He’s a problem and we’ll talk about him later, all right? We can do that while we hunt, since Bella’s safely away.”

“Yeah! What is up with that?”  Emmett’s version of that question was rather more graphic, but still sincere. 

We walked back inside, avoiding the lab and its tank of piranha.  Standing around the dining table, with no need to manufacture a pretense for anyone, we still tended to fidget and sway and adjust our weight as we spoke.

“How is Bella?” Carlisle asked, sounding as if he were her personal physician. Well, he had been.   My brothers and sisters and Esme all nodded at the question.

I gripped the back of the chair in front of me and met each pair of golden eyes.  “Well, she’s not screaming and crying in her sleep anymore...” I began.

Emmett coughed into his fist.  _You oughta know!_

I chose to ignore him.  “She’s doing well here as a researcher, certainly.  And she’s eating and sleeping well.  She’s put on five and a quarter pounds, which she needed because she was underweight, and she is actively maintaining her family relationships through email and telephone calls.  I’d say she’s doing very well.”  I tried not to sound too smug when I summed this all up.  I had been able to provide her with exactly what she had said she’d wanted, months ago.  Well, my family and I.  “Thank you,” I said to them now, feeling gratitude toward each of them.  “Truly.  This experience is exactly what she needed.”

Esme’s eyes glowed.  “And...?  Pardon me, Edward, but you are sharing her room... Is she going to be joining us more permanently?” _I’ve missed my daughter, my son. I’ve missed our Bella. So much._

I frowned.  “I’m not sure, Esme, to be honest.  She, ah, is taking a few days off to think some things through, as I know she told you.”  They all nodded, their focus intent. After a moment spent remembering her embrace before I left La Suite, I allowed myself a small smile.  “I’m cautiously optimistic.”

“You?”  Jasper said with a grin.  “I get that, yeah, but it’s the strangest emotion I’ve gleaned from you in, well, years, brother.”

“I still don’t see a wedding, Edward,” Alice declared with a pout, her arms akimbo.

“. _..Based upon what people decide..._ Isn’t that what you always say?”

She angled up one thin brow at me.  “So you haven’t decided?”

“Honestly, no,” I told her.  A gasp whispered around the table.  “She’s got...something...  Something on her mind. I don’t know what it is.  I’m trying not to plan for her without her input. Not this time.” 

 _It **so** didn’t work well last time_ , Alice reminded me silently, staring at the table top.  I nodded.

I looked around to see if there were any other questions.  Rosalie cocked her head at me.  “So?  When are you bringing her back? I want to see her kick your butt in another game of Twister!”

Emmett threw his arm around her shoulders. “She’s totally on my team this time. I wanna see you in a towel, babe.”

“Emmett!” We all shouted, then laughed, and then, with one unnecessary inhalation, we all sort of settled down.

“I’m ready to hunt a jaguar!” Jasper said, rubbing his hands together.  “Where are they, Edward?”

“Ready to hunt?” They all appeared to be so, dressed in darker clothes that would not stain with any blood spatter.  “Let me change and we’ll get out of here. We’ll be gone a couple of days, at least.”

“Excellent!” Carlisle enthused, surprising us all.  “I haven’t hunted jaguar in a century or more.”

I left them to their laughter as I flashed to the room Bella and I shared to change.  Her scent lingered everywhere.  I went for a certain black cotton button-down in the closet, but I noticed it was missing.  A quick hunt showed me it wasn’t anywhere in the room and I realized where it was.

Bella had taken my hunting shirt with her.  The shirt that embodied my wildest, least human part of me.   She knew it was the one I generally wore when I left her to obliterate the not-so-local animal life.  When I became the most dangerous predator in the region. Overwhelmed, I sank to the bed, briefly burying my face in her pillow, and had an idea. 

 _Why not?  
_  
I rifled quickly through one of her dresser drawers, finding what I wished for easily.  It took barely a second to fold the fabric into a pocket-sized square. 

I was smiling when I rejoined my family, wearing a dark blue Oxford shirt and dark jeans.  With something in my pocket besides my cell phone, I felt more at ease for a moment about being away from my Bella.


	15. Of Nomads and Nightwear

We had staked out three large trees, miles and miles away from Rio São Tomás, and we perched on the branches, legs dangling, sharing stories of hunts for lions in Northern California, for Kodiak bears in Alaska, and the time Emmett thought that he was in fact ready to hunt a shark, off of Isle Esme. 

Finally though, my family confronted me on the subject of the nomad.

“All right,” I said reluctantly.  “His name is Joham and he’s known by the local Ticuna villages as something of  – well, a dark angel, maybe?  He has been getting human women pregnant...”

Carlisle’s astonishment hit me first, though it was all in his mind.  _On purpose?_ he queried, appalled.  _What a vile creature!_

“There’s a nomadic rapist in the area and you’ve _stayed_?” Rosalie said, her voice almost a shriek in her anger.  _What the hell are you thinking?_ she demanded silently, her golden eyes piercing in the darkness.

Sitting next to me, Alice glared.  “Why is he still alive? You know what kind of danger this puts Bella in!”

“Danger magnet, remember,” Jasper murmured, his arm around his wife and his emotions subtly rendered over the three of us.  _The girls are freaking out, Edward. We need to hunt him down and set him on fire._

I leaned against the trunk of the tree.  “I know. I know, okay?  Thing is, I didn’t know what he looked like until just recently.  Bella met him, but as you know I get nothing from her mind.”

“Bella met him!?” The exclamation, though lowly pitched, came from every throat. 

“She said he was very polite.  Unassuming.”  I swept my gaze around the family.  “He’s a seducer, not a rapist.”

“Like it matters?” Rose shot back, smacking the branch she sat upon and causing a snake to slide off its far edge to the forest floor.

“I know, Rose. I know.  But I only had a chance to see him once and I was not going to leave Bella alone to go hunt him.  He came right up to the house.  Almost to her damn window,” I growled out, punching the tree with some pent-up anger over the situation.

The family shifted and calmed appreciably.  “Well,” Alice said, her tone even.  “I guess that’s why she’s at the hotel instead of with us?”

“You know we’d never take her hunting,” I reminded my sister.  “She requested,” I went on, emphasizing Bella’s control of that situation, “that I go hunting and spend time with the family while she took her time to be alone.  She needs to –”

“To figure out if she’s going to try her luck again with you?”  Emmett’s voice was wry.  “That dog only imprinted a few months ago, bro.  You can’t be thinking...”

“Why not?” Esme said softly, the hope in her voice overshadowing all common sense.  “It isn’t as if old flames can’t be reignited.”  She leaned into Carlisle’s side and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

Jasper cleared his throat.  “The love is there, bro.  I felt it.  Never mind what she was feeling during the Twister game!”

Raucous laughter erupted before the family was quiet again. 

A few moments passed before Jasper rolled his shoulders.  “So.  That damned nomad.  When do we hunt him? I’m game. We could go now.”

“I would if I knew where he’d be.”

“You said he had gone right up to Bella’s window?”  Esme sounded incredulous.

“Well, her old window,” I murmured, knowing I’d be blushing if I could.  “By that time, ah, she’d relocated...”

Emmett snorted. Rose slapped him.  Emmett chuckled anyway.  Then he got serious.  “So.  He’s been there.  D’you think he’ll try again?”

I eyed them all, my purpose easily understood.  “We’ll be there when he does.  We’ll build a bonfire.”

“Excellent.”

* * *

  
It was with a tingling anticipation that I called Bella the following morning.   I took myself some little distance from the family so as not to be overheard before sliding my cell phone and Bella’s garment from my pocket.  Inhaling deeply, I had to smile.  She would be either wearing my shirt or using it as her scent-companion, as Jacob’s blanket had been when I had first returned to her in Olympia.

“Edward,” she said, her voice sounding sleepy and content.  I had to smile. I knew exactly how she looked when that huskiness coasted her vowels.  My mind played back so many memories...  “How’s the hunting? Catch anything big and tasty?”

“We let Carlisle take the jaguar,” I told her, wondering if she were wearing my shirt and wondering if I could ask.  I decided not to.  If I didn’t know, I could imagine.  “Emmett and I found panthers, though.”

She chuckled.  “Good.  Have you been facing the Cullen Inquisition?”

Perceptive. She always had been.  “Oh yes.  As Emmett would say, you so owe me for having to face them without you.”

Then, she laughed and I had to laugh with her before asking, “You slept well?  Is anything lacking?”

“Oh, yes, Edward. This place is just perfect.  Thank you so much for choosing it for me. I know it wasn’t easy to let me come here.  You’ve always been so generous.”

“Not at all.”

“Just a moment.  I’m going to the balcony.  The sun’s feels amazing.” 

“When do you want me to come for you?” I asked after hearing her describe the view. 

“Not tomorrow.  Maybe the day after? I think I’ll be ready by then.”  Her voice was pensive, a little abashed.  I wondered what on earth she had to be concerned about, on a private balcony. 

I let it go.  Perhaps she would be ready to tell me when I saw her.  “You’re staying indoors, right?”

“Yes, Edward,” she said, her voice sliding in sarcasm.  “Not even out to the pool, just like I promised.”

“You sound remarkably like a teenager,” I quipped.

“Hmph.  You make me feel like a rebellious teen, on occasion.”

“Well, I’ll try to get back soon and remind you that you’re a fully grown woman,” I promised, my voice deepening with sheer need.

I heard her swallow.  “Oh?”

“Will that be a problem?” 

“Um, no... I don’t think so?”

 _Hey! Edward!  Man, what are you talking about way out here?  Damn, I smell Bella!_

I cursed in my head.  “Love, I have to go. Emmett is descending.”

She laughed, the sound reaching deep within me.  “All right.  Talk to you maybe tonight?”

“I’ll be here.”

“Bye, Bella!” my brother called as I took the phone from my ear.  He reached for it and I let it go, not wanting it to suffer over a power-struggle.

What I had not counted on, there in the sun-streaked haze of a humid morning, was that Emmett would empty my hand entirely.

“Bro!  Panties! You’ve got Bella’s panties!” he whisper-shouted.

“No! I would not dishonor her like that.  It’s a tank top.  She has a shirt of mine, too,” I said, knowing I sounded defensive but unable to help it.  “Honestly, Emmett. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

Emmett held the light blue tank top up next to his face and inhaled deeply.  “Well, whatever it is, it’s something she keeps next to her skin.”

“Exactly. And now it’s next to _your_ skin, and if you think your wife won’t notice that...”

Emmett swore.  Loudly.  Then, “I better go find a river and rinse this off.”

I smirked.  “And keep your mouth shut about it, too. I won’t have Bella teased about something she knew nothing about in the first place.”’

“Dude! You stole it from her without letting her know?  Perv!”  _I gotta tell Jazz. He’ll love it._

“If you do tell anyone,” I said in answer to his thought, “I’ll make sure Bella gets to square off with you in the next game of Twister.  I’m sure Rose would be...entertained.”

“Ah, hell, Edward. You take all the fun out of having a sexually frustrated brother.”

I didn’t even bother being offended; he was just too straightforward.  “Go. Get cleaned up. I won’t tell Rose you were sniffing at Bella’s pajamas.”

 _PJ’s! Righteous perv!  Ah, Edward, there’s hope for you after all._

* * *

  
At last, sated by the blood of several new breeds of animals, we were able to make our way back to the Project.  My first priority was to head back to Bella.  It was still an hour shy of midday when I bid my family goodbye.

Alice embraced me briefly before moving away and catching my eyes with her own shining golden ones.  _I still don’t see a wedding, Edward.   But I do see her.  She’s_ not _smiling when she opens the door for you._

Alice was frowning.  I pushed up one side of her mouth with my forefinger.  “Your point? She’s spent days thinking deep thoughts, Alice. She’s not necessarily bouncing off the walls.”

My sister gave me an exasperated look.  _Fine.  Just be careful, okay? We miss our Bella. I miss my sister!  Don’t screw this up!_

“Have I not managed to keep her pretty content for the past few months?” I reminded her with the barest of whispers.

 _Dazzling her, I’ll bet._

“Only sometimes.”

Alice snorted. “Fine. We’ll see you in two days. I’ll make sure there’s a dinner waiting for Bella when you get back.”

I blinked in surprise.  “Two days?”

 _Yes, brother-dear,_ she thought at me with a broad smile. _You’re definitely having a sleep-over._

With those thoughts in my head, and the accompanying distracting imagery, I drove as fast as was vampirically possible over the rough back roads and muddy trails until I reached paved highways into Rio.  Navigating, I called Bella and told her I had reached the city, so she would have an estimate of when I would arrive.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” she said.  “Don’t take too long.”

That was all the encouragement I needed to keep the ridiculous grin on my face as I finally reached La Suite and, after a slight wave at Françoise, who was behind the desk at the moment, I ducked into the elevator to go up to the Black Suite.

If I had had a functioning heart, it would have been throbbing in expectation.  Too late, I realized I probably should have brought flowers or dinner or something for my Bella.  Too late.  I would just have to make it up to her.  Somehow.

I knocked on the door and ran a restless hand through my hair, hoping that my attire of Dockers and cotton button-down was not over or underdone.  Alice hadn’t commented, so I had assumed...

The door opened.  Wearing a simple tank top and pair of white shorts, though bare of foot, Bella was not smiling, as Alice knew she wouldn’t be.  “Edward,” she murmured.  “Come in.”


	16. Bella's Plan, Part Two

I took in all of Bella’s mouthwatering scents.  Her shampoo, the hotel-provided designer bath gel she had used not too long ago – her hair was still damp – and of course the ever-appealing aroma of her body and blood.  Though I despised myself, truly, I could never get past my desire for that life-giving substance.  The discipline to contain that desire was second nature to me, but it was nevertheless an effort.

“Thank you,” I murmured, moving past her and inhaling deeply of all those precious fragrances.  “Has it been...a good day for you?”

“Mm-hmm.  Most, um, productive, yes.  Thank you.  Would you like to sit down inside or go to that balcony there? The view of the beach is lovely and the sunset will only glance off of us from that side of the building.”

She had always been most accommodating of the restrictions I was heir to as a vampire.  “Inside, my Bella, please. I was wondering...”  At her encouraging look, I continued.  “I was wondering if you would be able to tell me yet what you were thinking about, while you were here?”

With a nod, she said she would. “Let me just get a Coke first, okay?  I’m kind of thirsty.”

I rose instantly.  “Allow me.”  I remembered where the kitchen was, of course, with its black oak floor. 

Having retrieved a can of the soda and a drinking glass – the room had every amenity – I returned to her, sitting next to her on the dark gold sofa and placing her beverage on the glass-topped coffee table in front of her.  She poured, her posture stiff all the while.

I grew more tense by the moment, but managed not to push for any revelations until she was prepared to make them.  After a long swallow of her beverage, she was.

“Edward,” she began, turning and tucking one bare leg up under herself as she sat sideways to face me fully.  “I have a confession to make.”

It was the last thing I expected to hear.  Still, I tried to be calm.  “Yes?  Is there anything I can help with, perhaps?”  I wanted to pick her up bodily and settle her on my lap, but decided that she had put a bit of space between us for a reason.

She bit her lip.  “Well.  A long time ago, I made a decision, as you’ll remember.”  She winced and looked away.  “You told me, more times than I can count, that I should live out my human life.  That I deserved a mortal man who could give me all the things you couldn’t.  And then you left me to do that.”

“I thought we were beyond this, Bella,” I murmured, my body tense and my voice even moreso. 

She nodded. “We are. I just had to give you an explanation.”

“All right.  For what?”

She picked up her glass for another deep draught of her Coke. This time, she cradled the glass between her palms, wiping the beaded condensation from the sides.  “For my, ah, choices.”  After pushing out a soft breath, she looked at me.  “You know I chose Jacob, back when you had left.  I loved him.  He worked really hard at getting me to that point, but he did.”  She watched me as I grimaced.  I really didn’t need to hear all of this, I felt.  “And, to be honest, it was what you said you wanted for me.”

“I know,” I muttered.

“The thing is, Edward, your opinion has always been important to me.  When I didn’t think I was good enough for you, when I tried to find your voice while acting like a crazy woman, when I finally let the broken pieces of myself mend with Jacob.  I loved him...  But I loved you, too.  I, um, I always have.  In different ways, but still.”

Hope surged through me, but her demeanor did not indicate she was ready to discuss this expression, so I only nodded, feeling a smile at the corners of my lips.  “And...?”  I prompted, eager for her to finish so we could get back to this point.

She put the soda back on the table and laced her fingers together, studying them instead of meeting my eyes.  “And... I was really glad you wanted to stay in touch with me, Edward. I was happy that you came to my wedding, but I was happier that we were able to get together a few times a year.  I was relieved Jake didn’t put up a big stink about it.  I – I needed to see you, Edward.  And I couldn’t ever say so.  Now, it wasn’t that I didn’t love Jake. I did. You know that.  I loved him enormously, but a part of my heart was always yours.”  She paused, lifting her deep brown eyes to meet mine, “And that part hasn’t gotten any smaller.  I – I think I told you, when you showed up at my apartment in Olympia, that you were early?” 

I couldn’t even draw in a breath at this point, but I nodded. 

She nodded as well.  “Thing is... Oh, damn. This is so embarrassing and you’re going to think I’m a complete slut or something.”

I moved, finally, and took her hands in mine, closing the distance between us on the overstuffed sofa until it was almost nonexistent.  “Never, love. I could never think that of you.”

She snorted softly in apparent derision.  “Just wait.  I’ve been thinking for...oh, for way too long about this, trust me.”  Her heart started pounding at that point and I felt as if I were teetering on a precipice, my balance there entirely dependent upon her next words.  “I always knew Jake could imprint,” she whispered finally.  “I always knew. And so when it happened, it hurt, yeah. But...it wasn’t one of those _unthinkable_ things. I mean, I loved him and I knew I was making him happy and I was happy and you – even you were at least happy knowing I was living my human life, so I was good with that, right?  But when he imprinted, the first thing I did was check my calendar.”

“Why?”

“I had just seen you, I knew, but I also knew that you – that you’d be back, Edward.  I knew you’d call me like you always did and that I’d – I’d get to see you again... And I – and I wouldn’t be married anymore.  And I knew... I knew you still... You still cared about me...  And I thought that I had four months to get my head straight and get over Jake before I would be ready to ... to see you, that way, again.”

To say I was speechless would be to lie through sheer understatement.  I was bewildered, elated, shocked and deeply, deeply satisfied on some level.  All at once.   I opened my mouth, but not one syllable could I push out.

Bella, though, launched herself abruptly from the sofa, almost knocking her shin against the coffee table.  She lurched past me toward the clear glass door that led to the balcony.  “I know, it’s horribly selfish. Stupidly selfish.  And when you came back early I freaked out in my head, but part of me was really, really glad... And almost all I could think about, after those first couple of days, was that I wanted to give myself three more months to make sure I wasn’t lying to myself.  That I wouldn’t be lying to you.  That I would be entirely ready.”

I rose and crossed the room to stand behind her, so that our faces were softly reflected in the glass.  “Ready for what?” 

Her turn into my chest was as abrupt as it was welcome. “Ready to tell you that I love you.  I love you and I need you and I’m glad you came for me and took me away and sang me to sleep and –”

It was enough. It was more than I hoped for, more than I dreamt about. It was more than enough. I wrapped her up tightly against myself, lowered my head and silenced her with a kiss that I hoped told her that I could only welcome her declarations.  All of them.

Yes, all of them.

Bella had always been a practical girl.  She had been accustomed to seeking out ways to make sure there was food in her mother’s kitchen.  She had learned how to communicate with her father – one of the least communicative men in existence.  She had learned how to live comfortably and familiarly with vampires, though her blood sang to me and called to the rest of my family.  Bella had always been someone who sought a solution.  Even if it might seem strange or uncouth to some eyes, her solutions worked, as I had learned.  

Even if they hurt me, which some of them had – one in particular – they worked. And this one was in no way painful.  Not at all.  No, I was rejoicing.  Relief danced throughout my body.  Joy possessed my spirit.  I could have laughed, but I was rather too busy to do so.

When I had to break our kiss so that she could breathe, I pressed my lips to her hair.  “I was so worried, Bella.  I thought you would be leaving me. I thought you were trying to figure out how to tell me away from my family to save me the humiliation.”

Her tear-clogged chuckle was trapped between us.  “I don’t think I want to be away from you again.”  Then, she tossed her head back and grinned up at me. “Unless you want to send me back here for a weekend sometime.  This place is great.”

“Oh, we’ll come back if that’s what you wish,” I assured her before kissing her again, slowly.  “But I want to be with you.”

A sudden blush suffused her features with some hidden thought.  She pulled away a little, but held my hands in hers. “Me, too.  Um.”

“What, my Bella?  Why are you embarrassed now?”  I smiled into her eyes and tried to gather her back against myself.  After being away from her, my body craved her nearness.

She resisted.  “You gave me this time as a gift, didn’t you?”

I smiled at the humor-filled, demanding sort of light in her gaze.  “Yes?”

“And you sang to me as a gift, at least that first night back, right? And found a way to grant me my wish of getting far away from everyone, right?”

I sighed.  “You know I would do anything for you.”

She blushed again.  “I know.  And I’ve been trying to learn how to take these gifts graciously.  How have I been doing?”

“Much better than you used to,” I declared with a chuckle of my own. 

She beamed. “Good. Then I would like to give you a gift now.  And I want you to accept it with grace.”

“Anything, love.  Anything you wish to give me.”  I wondered what it was.  I lifted a brow at her.  “You didn’t go shopping or anything, did you?”

She laughed and turned us around, walking backward while she spoke.  “Nope!  I promised and I kept my promise.  I, um, never have had much to give you, Edward,” she murmured, the beautiful color rising in her cheeks again.  “What do you give to the vampire who has everything, right?”

“Only you, Bella.  You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

“What do you want more? My blood or my body?” she asked, her tone half-serious, half-teasing.

There was only one answer to that and I made it at the door to the master suite, where the open door gave way to a deep, mysterious room that carried a faint taste of...Bella.  I lifted her in my arms and carried her in, setting her gently down upon the wide bed with its black accent pillows and golden tassels.  “What do you think?” I rasped, my lips grazing her heated skin.

“Then let me give myself to you, Edward,” she said, her tone serious.  “You’ve lived for over a hundred years, but I have one set of new experiences that I can share with you.  Let me share them?”

Worry warred with desire.  “Bella...”

She smiled softly into my eyes.  “Edward. I know what I’m doing. I’m experienced.  I want to give you a gift and you promised you’d accept it.”  She pushed me backward and I let her small strength move me while she unbuttoned my shirt with confidence.  “I’m not afraid.”

“I am,” I confessed.  “What if something happens, Bella? What if I lose control and hurt you?”  The fear remained even after all that I knew of her and of myself. The vision of her body under mine, broken and bloodied with the unrestrained force of my passion for her, terrified me.

“If you do,” she said, pushing my shirt open and running her hands over my chest and abdomen, “and if I’m hurt, and if you think you might want to...”  Her fingers stilled.  “Then change me.  Let me stay with you forever.  If not as your lover, then as your sister.  I love our family.”

“If not as my...!” I spluttered, the images racing behind my eyes, the feelings tightening my body.  “What?  I’ll have you as my mate, Isabella Swan, not as a sister. How could you even think –?”

Her smile was pure seduction as she bent her head to mine, her hair falling around us in a shifting mahogany curtain.  “How could I even think...?  Because you haven’t shown me otherwise yet, Edward.  Do you call that a proposal?”

I growled playfully up at her, delighted at this side of my Bella.  “Yes, but it wasn’t what I had imagined.”  Could I do this? Really?  The need for her pulled at me, overpowering my former worries.  I skimmed her thighs with my fingertips.

She laughed.  “Well, hang on to that imagination, Edward Cullen.  I’m about to, um, expand your parameters.”

I pulled her on top of me fully, so that her soft warmth was splayed over my marble coolness.  “I love you,” I murmured into her neck.

“I love you, too.  Now do you want to unwrap your present or not?”

“Oh, I do...”


	17. After and Before

I accepted my gift with grace, wonder and enthusiasm.  Though it did not need to be _unwrapped_ more than once, I nevertheless appreciated it – appreciated _her_ – often...throughout the rest of the evening and into the following dark morning hours.  Only when my beautiful Bella had finally succumbed to rightful exhaustion did I leave her side, overawed with what had transpired. I couldn't seem to stop smiling.

Pulling my trousers on, I walked about the suite in the apparent darkness before gliding open the glass door to step on the balcony.  Where I stiffened, horrified at what I sensed and heard.

 _Eu ouço-o. Mas eu cheirei-o, antes. Eu não o vi mas eu cheirei-o. Toda em torno dela.  Onde estêve? Está para trás, agora.  Eu ouvi sua voz.  Eu devo esperar.  Mais tarde. Sim._

 _I hear him. But I smelled him, before. I did not see him but I smelled him. All around her.  Where has he been? He's back, now.  I heard his voice.  I should wait.  Later. Yes_.

“Joham?” I hissed.  I could smell him. I knew his scent, faintly though I had caught it that night outside Bella’s window. 

 _Nada! Demasiado tarde outra vez!_

 _Damn! Too late again!_

I heard a slight susurration of motion from above.  The roof? Perhaps, though I detected his departure. _Should I follow and put an end to this menace once and for all?  Or should I stay and see to it that he could not reach Bella?_

I chose to stay, making sure that all the windows and doors were locked securely before I returned to Bella’s beckoning warmth. 

She held my hunting shirt to her face and her sleeping smile was sweet.  I traced her features with the lightest of touches until my phone vibrated on the bedside table. 

Without even checking the display, I knew who it was and I had to grin as I slid the phone into my palm and moved to stand outside the bedroom door.  “Good morning, Alice.”

“Oh! It’s going to be beautiful, Edward! Just beautiful!  I have to meet you in Rio first, okay?  I know just what she’s going to wear and we’ll have to get you into a –”

Laughing softly I was shaking my head.  “I’m guessing you’ve seen a wedding?”

A sound akin to the tinkling of wind chimes met my ear.  “Oh, yes.  Congratulations, Edward!  I am so excited!  So? Details!”

“What for? You’ve seen them all already...”

She choked.  “Well, I didn’t _mean_ to.”

I let her wax ecstatic but pledged her to secrecy otherwise.  Then, I changed the subject.  “Joham’s been here.”

When Alice chose to curse, she did so with as much verve as she did everything else. I’ve always felt that Jasper was secretly proud of his wife’s ability to use these terms so effectively, but I’ve never asked him outright.  Finally, she stopped spewing and inhaled deeply.  “He’s really wanting her.”

“Obviously,” I growled.  “He’ll likely be back at the Project, too.”

“We’ll be waiting.” 

I could see the image of my tiny sister, crouched and snarling to attack or defend and I shivered.  The women in my family were scary. 

“We’ll be home soon.”

It wasn’t quite the two-day “sleepover” Alice had foreseen, but even her visions were imperfect at times.

* * *

  
“How did he know I was here?” Bella wondered as we packed to go. 

I threaded my fingers through her thick hair.  “Love, your scent is unique and beguiling.  To me a thousand times moreso, but to others of my kind as well.”

She frowned.  “Well I’m glad he left me alone.  I wonder why...”

“You wanted him to...?”

“No!” she shouted, her face curled in disgust.  “I’m just curious, Edward.  I mean...I’m just a simple, defenseless human.  He’s approached me before and I didn’t scare him off, apparently.  What would scare him, here?”

I snorted.  “I’ll ask him.”

The smile she gave me was slanted.  “You do that.”

Once I had accepted – with grace – Bella’s _gift_ to me, we found that it was a “gift that kept on giving” and it took us rather longer than I had anticipated before we were able to pack up and check out of La Suite.  However, we did eventually manage to take the quickest route out of Rio. 

“D’you think he’s tracking us?” Bella whispered to the glass, knowing I’d hear her.  Her reflection did not seem unduly stressed. 

“No. He doesn’t have to, love. He knows where you live.”

“Right.  Dammit.  Okay.  So, what’s the plan?”  Turning from the passenger-side window, she shifted under the seatbelt to face me.  Overhead, a thundercloud skimmed in front of the sun, casting Bella’s face into shadow as she waited for me to inform her.  “I know you have one.  You’ve practically made a religion of trying to keep me out of harm’s way.”

I snorted, but she did have a point.  I used her metaphor and ran with it.  “Well, the nuns and monks of this religion,” I said, laughing with her at the very idea of my sisters being nuns and especially at the idea of Emmett being a monk of any faith, “are planning a, um, _mission_.  Yes, that’s what we’ll call it.”

She arched a brow at me.  “Oh really?”  What kind of mission?  And how am I going to get to help?”  At my instant demurral, she threw up a hand.  “Stop it.  Am I a part of our family or not?” 

“Bella, love, it’s not that. It’s just that you’re his intended victim.”

“You’ve made that clear, Edward.  I just hate the idea of the family having to put themselves at risk on my account.”  She sighed and kicked futilely at the weather mat under her feet. 

I took one of her hands in mine as I eased onto a smaller dirt path.  Not too many more miles until we were home.  “I know, love. I know.  But they’re pleased to be able to do it, you know.  They are.  So am I.  Your safety is so important to all of us.”

“If I was like you, he wouldn’t even be bugging me.”

I gently squeezed her hand.  “True.  But I’d hate for you to be changed because you were afraid, Bella.  The solution to your fear is easy.  Life as one of us is difficult and lasts forever.”  I slowed down marginally as the rain grew in intensity, making the road a slurry of mud and causing the windshield to become moderately less easy to see through.  Even for me.  “It’s not that I don’t want to change you,” I began.

She flew into my pause with both feet and a heightened surge of adrenaline.  “What? You want to change me?  Really?” 

“Well, I agree you should be changed, Bella, yes. But it is not a discussion I’d prefer to have before we have the Joham threat handled.” 

Her expression was incandescent as we neared the Project and my family’s mental voices were discernible to me.  “Really?  But, but Edward!  I – I – Where’d that come from?”

 _I hear the car.  Edward and Bella are coming!  Emmett! Get that OUT of the tank!  Do you think he changed her? No, he wouldn’t have... Unless... No!  He would have called._

“What is it?” Bella asked, her focus unwavering on my facial expressions.  “Can you hear...him?”

I laughed shortly.  “No.  The family.  They’re glad we’re almost home and they wonder if I’ve changed you already.”

Bella was all but bouncing in her seat.  “Would they...want that?”

I brought her hand to my lips.  “More than anything.”

She exhaled long and slow.  “And you?”

We had reached the rest of the cars in front of the Project by this time, so I parked and keyed off the motor of the Volkswagen.  “Bella, I want you to be happy.  However you’re happiest is how I want you to be.”  I met her deep brown eyes with all seriousness, the significance of the moment heavy on my heart.  “I told Alice before I came to you yesterday that I was done making decisions on your behalf.  I am.”

Her seatbelt was snapped open with a sharp abruptness before she launched herself at me where I sat behind the wheel.  “Oh, Edward...” she whispered just before her lips melded to mine.

Emmett knocked on the top of the car with a fist, interrupting Bella’s kiss.  “Hey!  C’mon guys, it’s pouring out here.”

Bella broke away, laughing.  “Did you bring me an umbrella, Emmett?  I’m still human and I don’t want to get wet.”

He laughed and so did I; her tone was so arch and playful.  “Yes, so come on, already!”

I slipped from behind the wheel, gesturing that he should go around to Bella’s side and help her out while I got the luggage from the cargo area.  Emmett took a look at my Bella, flashed me a grin and pulled Bella tightly against him under the umbrella while running through the rain.

“And the little bro scores!” he whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear, but softly enough to pretend for Bella’s sake that no one would have.  Still, even through the rain I could hear her heart accelerate in chagrin.   And then, “Ouch!  What’ve you got in that purse, a rock?”

I was relieved enough that my family spared Bella _most_ of the subsequent teasing. I was not so fortunate.

 _Edward my brother,_ Jasper thought with a half-hidden grin as he followed me back to our room – mine and Bella’s.  _I take it that Emmett was on target with his evaluation?_

I couldn’t help my smile.  “I was given a gift,” I murmured so swiftly and so quietly that Bella would have no suspicion we were speaking.  “It would have been rude...”

Jazz snorted and leaned against the doorjamb.  _Right.  And you’re giving off_ I have had SUCH a good night _vibes because you were POLITE.  Play that one somewhere else, brother.  We know better._

Then, I had to grin.  They did know better and though I was not an empath, I could imagine the difference in my emotional state.  And Bella’s.  “I just don’t want her to be embarrassed.” 

This time, Jasper laughed out loud.  “Too late!”

I listened then, and heard Bella say something that would have had my face fiery if it were possible.  “Give it a rest, guys! Sheesh!  It’s not like it wasn’t something I hadn’t done... I _was_ married, remember.”

Alice laughed lightly. “Oh, we remember, believe me!  But we’re really, really glad you’re here now.”  My sister embraced my love and I could almost see the words, **Group Hug** ballooning out over the family. 

Jasper sighed with heartfelt contentment.  _This, brother.... This is family.  We’ve missed her for far too long._

“Me, too,” I murmured.  “Me, too.”

 _So let’s get this Joham fellow out of the way and start with everyone’s happily ever after, all right, Edward?  Are we doing that?  You know, the_ ever after _part?_

I watched Bella laughing and blushing and pushing Emmett and wrapping her arms around Esme and Carlisle and even Rose while Alice danced around as if her joy was too much to be contained while standing still.  “Yes, we are.”

Jasper rolled out a wave of surprise that hit everyone and they all looked in our direction as we watched them.

“What?”

I cleared my throat unnecessarily and Bella stepped quickly toward me, managing not to stub a toe on the way.  “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and met the expectant gazes of our family.  “I agreed that Bella should be changed.  After we take care of Joham.”

“Excellent!” Esme and Emmett exclaimed in the same moment. 

We all laughed and, after Bella had a few human moments, we decided to waste no time.  “If she’s going to be one of us at last,” Rose said, her voice tinged with both melancholy and possessiveness that I didn’t entirely comprehend, “then let’s not waste any time.  Jazz, tell Edward your plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *My apologies to any Portuguese speakers. I used an online translator application for Joham's thoughts. Edward hears languages as they're spoken, we know from canon, so I wanted to make sure he got his Portuguese practice in, here.


	18. The Rest of Our Forever

“Don’t start, Edward. You know how I feel about this. And you said you weren’t going to be making so many decisions for me anymore, remember?  I think this counts!”  Bella stomped her foot on our bedroom floor,  glaring at me over our wide bed with its white and blue bedclothes.  She herself was dressed in something Alice had added to the closet:  a short, midnight blue negligee that caught the light from the bedside lamp in the most appealing way.

I did my best to focus on the upcoming altercation rather than on my beloved’s state of near-undress.  It was difficult.  “Bella, love, my first priority is your safety.  It’s the first thing for all of us.  It is, like you said, almost an article of faith right now.”

“So change me!”

“Not now!  We’ve already talked about it and you agreed.”

She pouted and flung herself on the bed, the satiny nightwear sliding beguilingly up her creamy legs.  “Fine.  Okay.  So I’ll just go spread some scent around and hide indoors.  Make me sound like a mountain lion or something.”

I disrobed and climbed into bed next to her, wrapping her warm body against my cold one.  My kitten thinking – again – that she was a lion.  “Soon, love. I promise.”  I kissed the back of her neck before moving my lips down the slope of her shoulder...

“Soon,” she murmured before turning in my arms and pulling me more tightly to her.

* * *

  
 _Scent won’t travel far in weather like this, Edward_ , Carlisle opined before sunrise.  We were on the covered porch, dressed in our hunting clothes, for we wished to be dark as we tracked the nomad.  _She might need to stay outside a little longer._

I growled, low in my chest, and watched eddies of mist swirl in the heavy air.  “I am not happy about this.”

 _There isn’t another option and you know it, son.  Alice and Rose will be more than adequate guardians for our Bella. And Esme will keep her occupied indoors.  She’s said she wants to bake cookies._

I snorted and shot a sideways glance at him, seeing the smile lighting his topaz eyes.  “I guess they’d make a decent last meal at that, eh?”

 _About that..._ Carlisle shifted uneasily before sliding his hands in his pockets.  _She asked me to change her, Edward.  She feels that you would be more comfortable with that, all things being equal._

I started to nod, but then something inside tugged my head to the side and I was shaking my head in denial.  No, I wanted it to be me, _myself_ , who changed her.  _I_ wanted to bite her, to sink _my_ teeth into her fragrant flesh.  It should be _my_ venom pumped into her body, _my_ essence to mingle with hers...  _Mine_. She was mine and I wanted her to be entirely so.  My whole body tensed up in negation of anyone else having that responsibility. That privilege.  Besides... Her blood sang to me.  Damned as I was, I wanted the last taste of it that would be pulsing on this earth.

Carlisle watched my face, smiling faintly.  _That’s what I thought.  You can discuss it with her when this is cleared up._

I heard the change in Bella’s heartbeat and flashed inside so that I would be with her when she awakened. 

“To review,” Jazz said, calling us all together in the main room after Bella had eaten a substantial breakfast and had her necessary morning coffee.  “We’ll all go outside, making sure to layer our scents on the boundary wall and the nearest vegetation.  Bella will do the same.  Then, we’ll all head out, as if we were on another hunt.  Go out in pairs, making obvious trails on the ground.  Then, after about five minutes, we split up and the ladies return here to guard Bella while the men head to the treetops to guard the routes in to the compound.   This way, when the nomad returns to, ah, _approach_ Bella, we can take him.  And if – and this is a big if, guys – he manages to evade us, I know for a certainty that Bella will be well-guarded right here.”

I knew the plan.  Jasper had laid it out last night and it seemed reasonable and foolproof in terms of keeping Bella safe. There was no way in Hell that any nomad could get through two lines of defense.  The odds were huge against his breaking through a perimeter guarded by four alert males seeking to protect their mates.  And if Joham beat those odds, the mere idea of his getting past Rose and Alice (not to mention maternally protective Esme) was laughable. 

I made a subtle motion with my hand and Jasper nodded.  “Remember, too, that Bella reports that this nomad is unassuming. He likely isn’t going to come in and try to take her away by force.  He’d be more likely to approach her quietly.  Talk to her.”

Emmett swore.  Esme eyed him with a frown and my brother apologized.  “Sorry, Esme. but come on, guys.  He knows we’re on to him.  If he really thinks he has to have my little sister as part of his breeding program, he’s not going to take it so easy.  He’s already seen you, Edward, twice, right?   And what if he doesn’t come back?”

“We hunt him down.  I can track him and find his scent,” I told the family.  “And call to you to come to me wherever I find it and we’ll spread out with Jazz’s plan intact.”

“What about me?  I want to do something!” Bella insisted, her voice coming from near my shoulder.  “I hate just being the damsel in distress, dammit!”

I wrapped an arm around her to pull her in next to me.  “You, love, are the bait.” I hated it.  Hated it entirely.  However, I was not going to prevent her from helping.  Not this time.  There was no place she could hide herself away where Joham couldn’t find her – that was obvious. And since I couldn’t keep her completely hidden, she would have to be a part of her own defense.   “You have to go about and spread your scent in the vicinity.  It won’t travel far, so we might have a long wait, but if he is as anxious for you as I believe him to be – as his following you to Rio showed him to be – then it is an excellent way of telling him –”

“I’m available. Yeah.  Got it.”  She scowled up at me.  “Don’t even think about messing up the trap then.  He’ll know your scent too.” 

It occurred to me then that she was one hundred percent correct.  “That’s right. He does.  My hunting shirt... You wore that out on the balcony at the hotel, didn’t you?”

Her blush amused my family so that they all laughed softly.  “Yeah.  Why’d you have to mention _that_?”

“Because, love, I’m sure that’s what kept him away from you.  My scent.”  A certain stupid, latent pride swept under my skin.  I did protect her, in a very passive way.  Through her doing, yes, but with _my scent_.  That was gratifying, in a subdued way.

Bella’s eyes widened as she nodded.  “All right.  So you’re going into the rain forest with everyone else, right?  And no fair doubling back. Not if we want to catch this jerk.”

A few other terms were passed around the family circle, but she was largely ignorant of them as they had been said too rapidly for her human ears to process. 

Jasper got us all focused again.  “All right, then.  Bella, you’re going to be fine, because we know that this nomad does not want to hurt you.”  _And if he does manage to get too close, Edward, you know her scent will be really easy for us to track.  We could postpone this and ask Zafrina’s coven...?_

I shook my head abruptly.  “If at all possible, I’d like to settle this today,” I stated.  Bella nodded emphatically and that seemed to be that.

While my family wore their darkest and most comfortable hunting clothes, Bella was wearing an outfit that exposed a lot of skin.  Scent-points.  She was doing without insect repellent and sunscreen for the sake of doing her part.  I had every intention of giving every inch of her skin a thorough going-over later.  To make sure she sustained no damage, of course.  I had to withhold my smile at the mental images as I embraced her before we left.

“Now, don’t go beyond the courtyard,” I reminded her.  “And as soon as you’ve gone around the perimeter, come back to the porch, so he can see you if he’s nearby.  And keep your cell phone with you.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Adult woman, remember?”  Rolling up on the balls of her feet, she kissed me fast and hard.  “The family will be everywhere, I’ll be here and the girls will be back in a few minutes.  Really, Edward, we’ll be fine.  _I’ll_ be fine.”

We paired off, with me going solo, and melted into the jungle.  I listened to Bella’s slightly accelerated heartbeat as long as I could. 

The rain forest was throbbing with life.  This was more evident to me now than when I was hunting solo.  I was not focused on finding an animal, but a monster.  A monster who actively sought to change the order of things.  Who interfered directly in the lives of human women.  I had not heard any new rumors, but I had seen Joham and that was enough.  My family had a description to go on and if any of them found a suspect, single vampire of Joham’s approximate description, they would...detain him.  I wanted to be sure.  I did not wish to annihilate a nomad; he would be bound and I would speak to him.  Search for the truth in his mind.

And when I had it, we would make very sure, my brothers and sisters and I, that he never hurt another human woman again.

Ever.

The women planned on gathering wood for the bonfire when they returned from their five-minute diversion into the trees.  I mentally noted the passing of each minute until I knew my Bella would be surrounded by the female fighters in my family.  Until that happened, I kept her heartbeat within hearing distance. 

She was never unduly alarmed.  Her heartbeat remained a bit fast, but I detected no spike of fear in its precious pulsations.  I would miss those.  As I would miss the rushing of blood to her cheeks, the way she spoke in her dreams and her clumsy moments.  However, I was actually looking forward to changing her, now.  I yearned for the day when she was as strong as I – no, stronger!  And she was such a good person.  Those most essential Bella-qualities would remain, I was sure.

So it was with a small smile that I left the heartbeat behind me and focused more on my surroundings.  Looking, always, for the silent steps and deft movements that meant one of my kind was in action.  My nose was keenly alert for Joham’s unique scent.

He would not live to see another sunrise.

* * *

  
When the call came, I was surprised to see that the ID belonged to Bella.

“Love? Are you all right?”

I heard the voices of Rose and Alice, but not what they were saying when Bella answered me.  “Yep!  Come on back, sweetheart.  The others are calling their mates.  I’m calling mine.  Time to come home.”

Inhaling in deep satisfaction at her casual reference to me as her mate – I had so considered her, years ago and far away, but this was new – I asked, “Why?  Did Joham invite himself for dinner?”

“Pretty much.”

I dropped the phone. 

“Edward?”  I heard her voice from the handset far below me on the forest floor.  “Edward?  Did I lose you?”

 “What, did she try phone sex?” Emmett shouted through the trees.  I could hear his footfalls as he ran to me. 

I leapt to retrieve the small handset and rolled my eyes at my brother.  “No.  I was just surprised that Joham apparently invited himself over.”  At Emmett’s surprised expression, which was followed quickly by glee, I sought his thoughts but was, once again, unwilling to wade through sexcapades with Rose to find what was making him grin so broadly.

Bella sounded fine; it would wait until I saw her again to find out what had happened.

My brothers and I smelled the blood before we saw Bella.  I smelled her blood, the scent of it like ribbons of desire designed to pull me to her, though I hated that part of myself.  No, I would be relieved not to have to resist the irresistible after her change. 

“Bella!” I roared, upon finding that her scent was scattered over the entire tree line.  “Bella!” I had just heard her!  But what if Joham had –

“She’s fine! She’s inside!  Shut _up_ , Edward!”

Jasper and I exchanged a quick glance.  My brother’s strength of purpose was unwavering, even presented with such a strong temptation as the blood trail that seemed to be everywhere.  Venom pooled desperately in my mouth until my Bella came stumbling out of the glass doors.  “Edward! I’m here!”

Before her next heartbeat, I was with her and she was in my arms.  The scent – the bane of my existence – was muffled, but still far too vivid.  “What happened?”

At this point, I heard a string of soft curses in a familiar Portuguese dialect.  Something denigrating the women, to be sure, in terms of their sexual availability and probable species.

“He’s here, Edward.”  I tensed, but Bella pressed herself into the planes of my body and I had to bury my nose in her hair in gratitude that she was all right.  “He didn’t touch me.  Sorry about the blood... I just wanted to make sure he knew I was here.”

I groaned over her head and briefly tightened my hold around her.  “You are the most stubborn woman in the world, you know that.”

“How else could I manage to live forever as your mate?” she asked, tilting her head back with a grin.  “So! You gotta come see what Esme did!”

By now, the thoughts of my brothers – speechless and wrapped around their mates as Carlisle was around Esme – pounded through to my awareness.  My arm around Bella, we joined them to stare at their incapacitated prisoner.  There he lay on the reddish earth, his head attached to his trunk, but his limbs ripped from him and scattered at different corners of the yard.  Venom poured from his body as pain screamed in his mind.

“Joham,” I said, my voice thick with renewed venom.  “You dared?”

His thoughts flew over his images of Bella and then I saw how he smelled her blood and skirted our watch to reach her.  There she was, on the porch, with blood dripping from her hands as he approached.  He put her scent out of his mind and thought briefly of how she would appear, pregnant with his child.

I growled low and fierce at the image.  This was indeed the “dark angel” Zafrina and Senna had warned me about upon my arrival. 

“Burn him,” I ground out. 

“With pleasure,” Esme snarled.

And I saw the fight in her mind and in Alice’s and Rose’s as well.  How they leapt at him from the roof.  Leapt on him and pinned him down, grinding his head into the dirt to keep him from biting them while they detached his limbs from his torso and flung them away. 

The metallic screeches came at me from four minds all at once, and I shut my eyes against the overload of reported noise.

“You all right, sweetheart?” Bella murmured as she watched the bonfire pile grow.

“I will be...”

When the fire was built up, my brothers tossed the limbs into the fire one by one while Joham looked on, his face no longer showing fear, but rather resignation.  And when Rose faced him with a grim triumph etched upon her pale brow, he turned his head.

And then, she ripped it off.

And then, he burned.

We all watched, even Bella, as purple smoke rose up with an old-incense odor into the sky.  All the while, the men of the family were expressing their pride and love for their wives, their voices low and their thoughts, frankly, lustful.

Not that I could blame them.  Mine were similarly directed.

Rose, her hand locked with Emmett, crossed to Bella as the last of the smoke dissipated overhead.  “Good job, Bella,” she murmured, wrapping Bella in a one-armed hug. 

“Thanks, Rose,” Bella whispered back with her own fervent embrace.  

Rose and Emmett slipped quietly into the house.  They were followed by Alice and Jasper, who both told Bella she had done well that day and who both held her closely for a moment in a three-way hug that made me smile.  Alice and Jazz entered the house to, presumably, celebrate privately. 

Carlisle and Esme were last, joining hands with us so that we made a small circle.  “Bella, I still think that the blood was unnecessary,” Esme said in her soft way.  _Sorry, Edward. We had no idea what she was doing until she had started it._   “But you were very brave and we’re so proud of you. All of us.”

Bella beamed up at them.  “Thank you. Thank you both. I am just thankful no one was hurt.”  Then, she looked Carlisle right in the eye.  “I’m ready, now.  Edward said I had to wait until this was over, but it is and I’m ready.”

 _Are you ready, my son?_ Carlisle asked me silently.  I nodded  He smiled a little.  His tone was tinged with melancholy, but also rich with love when he spoke to Bella.  “Well, we are all eager to have you join our family, Bella.  All of us.  But I think Edward will be changing you.”

“Yes,” I said, practically growling as I pressed a kiss to Bella’s rich, dark hair.  She flashed me a surprised glance but nodded. 

“So, good night, Bella.  Thank you, so much, for all that you bring to our family,” Carlisle said, his tone now more formal as Esme leaned subtly into him.  “We’ll see you...soon.”

Esme winked at Bella before they too went indoors for some privacy.

“Are you sure?” Bella wondered, turning in my embrace and meeting my gaze.  “It won’t be too hard for you?”

“Not in the least.  I want to be the one, Bella.  You’re mine. My mate.  And I want it to be me.”

“So do I.”

“Good.”  I grinned down at her before sweeping her up into my arms and carrying her into the building, straight to our bedroom.

“Tonight?”

I settled her gently on the bed and slid down beside her, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face.  “If that is what you wish.”  I felt that monster, the one who always thirsted for her, start to rattle the chains I kept him on, deep within myself. 

She closed her eyes. “Yes, Edward.   But first...one more time?”

I didn’t have to be able to read her mind to know what she was asking for, and I was only too happy to oblige, memorizing each detail of Human Bella as I did so.  “I love you,” I told her over and over as I showed her in quiet, patient passion.  The softness of her skin. The yielding warmth. The rush of her blood, throbbing in temptation, reminding me of my promise.

And then, hours later as the moon rose and shone into our room, Bella murmured, “Forever, Edward, please?”

And the monster within growled at his restraint but he emerged, thirsting for the blood so long denied him.  As Bella arched her throat for me, I let the venom collect on my tongue.

With a moan of love, of apology, of possession – I nuzzled her fragrant skin and then...

I bit her, my teeth piercing her flesh, the blood spurting into my mouth, the monster within me luxuriating for the final time in the singular bliss that was Bella Swan’s blood.

We had begun here, she and I.  We had begun with my violent wish to do just this.  I remembered her face from our Biology class years before as I pumped my venom into her before sealing the wound with my tongue.  I remembered our first kiss as I repeated this invasion into her body at each wrist.  When I bit into her ankles, I heard her start to whimper against the pain and I kissed her quickly, wanting to finish so I could just hold her for however long it took. 

Her scent pounding into me as I bit into her femoral artery, I remembered our night in Rio...

We had come a long way.  We had accumulated years of memories together, in one way or another.  And at 2:37 on a Tuesday morning, we began the rest of our forever the way I hoped we would always spend it. 

Together.


	19. Epilogue: Eight Years Later

“I was afraid of something like this,” Carlisle murmured, leaning heavily and oh-so-humanly back in the leather club chair in the living room.  Esme sat at his feet, her rich tresses catching the light from the flames in our hearth. 

I was sitting on Edward’s lap, my fingers running idly through his bronze thatch of hair.  “So it’s true?”  Alice’s visions were rarely wrong; this one had just been proven correct.  “We have to obey?”

“Unless we want the Volturi on our asses, yeah,” Emmett groused.  He threw the envelope that Aro’s missive had come in into the fire.  “Damned paranoid freaks.”

“But we’ve been together for so long,” Esme sighed.  Carlisle caressed her head with one hand, the letter from Aro dangling in the other. 

Alice and Jazz were embracing on the sofa, her head tucked under his chin as he stroked her back.  All eight of us, I noted, were drawing heavily from the physical strength and love of our mates.  Alice had told us two weeks ago this would happen; we had held our belief back, unwilling to think that the Volturi would really go so far.  But they had.

We had been “asked” to disperse ourselves.  We were “too powerful a coven” to remain a cohesive unit, and “steps would be taken” to separate us if we chose not to heed the “suggestion.”

“It’s my fault. I’m so sorry,” I murmured over Edward’s head. 

He pressed his fingers reassuringly into my side.  “How, Bella, could this possibly be your fault?”  I just looked at him. He knew – he just didn’t want to say anything.  With a tug on my braid, he only murmured, “You’re being ridiculous, love.  You know better.”

No, he was the one being ridiculous.  My shield – the latent ability of which had protected me while I was still a human, apparently – encompassed my mind and I had learned, over the past several years, how to push it from myself and shield my entire family from any kind of “power” attack.  We hadn’t had much need for it, but a group of nomads had tried their hand at assaulting us women as we were hunting...

Well, we stopped _that_ in a snap.  But one of the nomads had gone whining back to Volterra... 

And now we had to split up or be forcibly “disbanded.”

“We’re a family,” Rose said, her voice half a sob as she buried her face in Emmett’s shoulder.  “They can’t do this to us.”

“We should, though, at least for a while,” Jasper opined in his Texas twang.  “Let ‘em think we’re being all meek ‘n’ mild.  Maybe have a ‘family reunion’ or ‘Christmas Party’ or something every year.  Or both,” he added with a smile at Alice.  “You always do a beautiful party, hon.  So we give it a decade, is what I think.  Long enough to let ‘em see we’re doing what they wanted. Then we buy property closer together.  And so on.”  He swept a sardonic gaze that touched each of us.  “Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Even for us, maybe.”

I suspected that such an arrangement would probably be good for Jasper and Edward, actually.  Living apart might give each of these men a rest from the constant bombardment of everyone’s emotions and thoughts.  Well, everyone’s but mine.  Once I was changed, Jasper couldn’t get a fix on me, either. 

We sat motionless as the fire died during the night.  Reflecting.  My memories encompassed my newborn year and the times I had to be restrained while chasing the local Ticuna Indians in the Amazon.  My bloodlust had been extreme.  But when it had passed and I had regained my emotional balance and my social bearings, we returned to the Seattle area.  Alice planned our wedding, and it was held in a romantic little park at dusk so my parents could see me happily wed to my first love.  During our honeymoon year, we traveled around Europe and Africa.  We rejoined the family in North Dakota and, since I did not really look like a teen anymore, I saved Edward the horror of repeating high school ever again.  Now, we live in New Hampshire and attend Dartmouth.  I find college to be fascinating.  I’ve learned so much and have a degree in British Literature and one in American History.  Jazz helped with that one.  I was hoping to work on a Masters next...

As the sunlight danced in the large picture windows, all of us rose as if on cue and looked to Carlisle.  “Here is what I propose,” the head of the Cullen Family said, his slightly accented voice low and pained.  “We split up as couples for the next few years, following Jasper’s suggestion.  We’ll keep in touch, of course – even Aro can’t deny us that – and have a couple of gatherings a year.  Then, we might choose to...consolidate a bit.  Edward and Alice might actually miss each other after such a separation.”  Tiny Alice cracked her first smile in a week and stuck her tongue out at Edward, who rolled his eyes hugely. 

I loved my family.

So did Rose, I knew.  She sighed heavily in resignation.  “Fine, and then a few years after that, we all plan on moving to the same general area, right?  Try to keep it under the radar?”

“Not too different from that first decade after we got married the first time, Rose,” Emmett murmured encouragingly, pulling his wife entirely into his embrace.  She nodded, still unwilling to be consoled.

“Edward?”  Carlisle asked aloud.

My husband, my mate...the man I would love until my world ended, nodded slowly.  “My biggest worry with this is that they might try to divide and conquer.”  I wasn’t entirely sure what he meant by this, for what would they wish to conquer in the Cullen family?  I would receive no answer that evening.

“I’ve been thinkin’ about that, too,” Jasper interrupted my thoughts with a significant look to Edward. I was sure they were strategizing even now.  Our collective mood lifted and small smiles were passed around the family circle before we split to go to our rooms to prepare for the new day.

Maybe the Volturi were right to be wary of the Cullen Family.  We were a new force in the vampire world.  They couldn’t keep us down forever.

Today, New Hampshire.  Tomorrow...  “What do you think of New Mexico?” I asked Edward as we ascended the stairs.  “Lots of mountains, there, and I could probably finish my degree online."

He nodded.  “New Mexico’s close to Texas, too.”

Yes, he and Jasper were already thinking ahead.  “I adore you,” I told my husband as he tossed me into the middle of our bed. 

“Since I can’t read your mind, love, I guess you’d better show me....” 

I did.

 

* * *


	20. Sideshot: What Did Jacob Say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final bit of FtW that will be here in this story. It's a side-shot/outtake/alternative perspective that takes place during Chapter One in the home of Jacob and Bella Black. (Be nice, Jake's having a rough time, here!) It was written in payment of a bet I had with friend and former fanfic writer, jazzvamp90. She won our bet and I wrote her the oneshot of her choice.

I waved at Jake in the kitchen window as I pulled into the garage next to our house.  The house he had renovated for me, with its snow-shedding roof and warm walls.  He and his pack brothers had worked really hard on it before our wedding. It was a Quileute tradition for the new husband and his family and friends to make a dwelling place for the new wife where they would raise a family.

 _Raise a family..._   Funny, I had never really thought of myself as a maternal person.  Funny, too, that even though I wasn’t on the pill – I had tried, but the hormones in them messed me up and I wasn’t going through _that_ again – we still hadn’t found ourselves expecting.

Not for lack of trying!

I smiled, remembering the last time we had “tried” as I grabbed my purse and headed into the house.  I smelled enchiladas. 

“Wow, Jake. What’s the occasion?” I called as I opened the connecting door between the house and garage.  Our kitchen was pretty big, compared to the rest of the house.  The cabinets were a red oak that I just loved.  I inhaled deeply of the spices in the enchiladas, listening to the browning meat and watching Jake grate cheese.

He stiffened.  “Occasion?  I invited a guest, remember,” he said, biting off the words as his shoulders stiffened.

Annoyed, I rolled my eyes.  “You knew he wouldn’t come. Is that why you texted me? To drag me away?”  Dropping my purse on a countertop, I crossed the linoleum floor to wrap my arms around his body.  He was wearing a shirt, wonder of wonders. 

And he didn’t turn to kiss me.

That was weird.  “Jake? You okay?”  Why hadn’t he swept me up in his arms like he always did after a visit with Edward?  Sure, he usually sniffed my hair afterward and told me to take a shower, but still...!

“Bells...” Sudden tension rippled under his skin and I backed away.  I had seen angry werewolves phasing.  Jake had never – ever – phased in our home.  Ever. But something was really wrong and Emily’s visage was always before me.  Not just me, but the other wives and girlfriends of pack guys.  None of us ever forgot.

With a startling whirl of motion, Jacob picked up the cheese and the grater and threw them across the room, so that the spice cabinet door broke and cheese stuck to the walls and ceiling. 

“Jake! Jacob Black! Stop it!” I cried out, fear in my voice. I hated feeling afraid of my husband, but I’d never seen him like this.  “What’s wrong?  Edward?”

And then, he let loose with a string of words that he never used with me. Ever.  I hovered near the garage door, in case I needed to get out and go get Sam. My cell phone was in my hand, too.  Just in case.  Finally, Jake turned to me, his expression tortured.

“Bells... I’m so sorry...” he rasped, falling heavily to his knees right in the middle of our kitchen.  Tears dripped from his face as I immediately knelt in front of him, cupping his jaw in my hands.  “I’m so sorry,” he groaned, pulling me to him so that he and I were melded together on the floor.  “I didn’t think it could happen, honey. Never thought it would.  Ever.  You’ve always been the one for me, you know that.”

As if I’d swallowed a bag of crushed ice, I froze in his arms before leaning back to look him in the eye.  “Jacob Black, you’re scaring me,” I whispered. 

He closed his eyes and touched his hot forehead to my suddenly clammy one.  “I’m scared too, Bells honey.  Real scared.”

Now, Jake was _never_ afraid.  He had no need to be afraid. The only time he _had_ been afraid, he told me, was when he found that I had jumped off the cliff after Edward left, years ago.  Jake fought and killed _vampires_ , after all. He could defend himself and me against anyone imaginable and unimaginable. 

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I murmured, terrified. What could bring my Jake to his knees like this?  What would make him so afraid?  What could do this?

“It happened to Sam and I swore it would never happen to me. I swore it.  Never. You’re my soul mate, Bells. You always have been...  Bella!  Honey!  Bella!”

He started shouting my name because he felt my heart stop in my chest.  Felt the blood in my body pool to my feet. I was cold, so cold all at once.  In a move that I didn’t even register, he had leapt to his feet with me cradled in his arms and was about to run for the car when I stopped him.

Still cold, still feeling as if I had no blood left in my body, I still managed to put it out there.  “You imprinted.”

“Oh, Bells, I did!”  He broke down with a guttural moan, hitting the door jamb so that he dented the house before we both slid down to the kitchen floor once more.  We cried together.  He apologized until he was hoarse. 

The sun set and our kitchen darkened.  He still cradled me against himself. His shirt was wet now with my tears. My hair was damp with his.  I felt my emotions turn off, all at once, as if someone flipped a switch inside me.  Unlike the time when I was abandoned before, I knew I was not going to become a zombie. Not now. 

There were things I had to know.  Things that would have to be done.  Things I would have to be able to do because I loved my husband.  Things I would do because I loved him and didn’t want him to hurt anymore than he was right now.

Things I had to do because I knew how it was for him.  He hated it, but he belonged to someone else. 

“Is it someone from the village?” I whispered, reveling in the heat of his throat as I relaxed into it.  I couldn’t look him in the face and ask, but I had to know.

His head moved.  “No, honey.  There’s no one here for me. You have to know that.  She came from out of freakin’ nowhere.  To the garage.  Her name’s –”

I slapped my hand over his mouth.  “No. Don’t tell me right now. No.”

Even his voice changed when he started talking about how they met.  Edged, yes, but I could hear a strange elation in it, too.  I closed my eyes as he spoke again, steeling myself against that vocal evidence of his new imprinting. 

It wasn’t there.  Instead, he was broken again.  “What do you want me to do, Bells, honey. You know, you only have to ask. Anything.”

 _Love me!_ my heart begged. _You’re my sun!  My happiness!  You!  You’re my lover and my best friend! Don’t leave me alone!_

I said none of that.  Instead, I took a shaky breath and moved out of his arms.  There was an enormous mess in the kitchen.  Leaving him on the floor, I rose to my feet and started cleaning while I tried to think. 

“I don’t want her to know about me,” I decided first.  “I will have no one’s pity. I never want to see her.”  I didn’t think I would, anyway.  That might change, maybe, but tonight I could cheerfully scratch her eyes out.

 _Jake would hate you if you did_ , a small voice whispered in my head. 

“Okay, Bella. Anything you want.  Okay.”

“I know the guys’ll know.  No secrets and all that.  Just tell them that, okay? No one is supposed to go making it an issue.”

“But, honey, what will _we_ do?”

My voice was cold, clinical.  I didn’t know where it came from.  “Get an annulment. A divorce is messy and you don’t need that right now.  _I_ don’t need that right now.”

“Everyone will want to know why,” he whispered, rising slowly to join me in scraping slivers of cheese off the cabinetry.

Finally, I turned to face him.  “Yeah.  Everyone will think you’ve cheated on me with this girl. I know.  Everyone who knows that we’ve been together for years will think you are a complete scum.   They won’t know the truth, though.”

“I _am_ a complete scum, Bells. I wish I could shake it. You - you’re my best friend and I’m hurting you and I want to just die.”

I threw up a hand. “Shut up.  Just stop it.”

He sobbed, a groaning sound.  Then he shook that off.  “All right. Yeah. So I’m a complete scum. Okay.  We’re hammering out a story, right?”

 _Just like the Cullens had to_ , I mused silently, my hands submerged in soapy water as I scraped cheese off the grater. 

 _Edward._

 _He’ll be calling me again in four months..._

 _Stop it!  Just stop it, Isabella Marie Swan._

 _Damn. Bella Black!  I’m Bella Black!_

 _Not for long..._

My knees started to shake and I collapsed again on the kitchen floor, soap suds dripping with soft sounds from my arms to the linoleum floor.

“Ah, Bells, honey...”

~*~

I didn’t get any sleep that night, but in the morning the entire pack was in my kitchen.  Emily was cooking, having made me some tea.  Kim was there.  Leah, too, with her arm around my shoulders, looking daggers at every male in the room. 

My father-in-law, Billy, wheeled himself over to where I sat at the small breakfast table. “Charlie’s gonna kill Jake.  I might have to help him,” he murmured, gripping one of my hands in his.  “Hell, Bella, I am so sorry.”

“If I have to hear that one more time, I’m gonna scream,” I promised, my jaw clenched.  “Enough.  Fine. Enough.  I’ll deal.  We have to keep the secret.”

Sam cleared his throat. “If there’s anything we can do, Bells...you’re still family.  You’ll always be family.”

More tears burned my eyes before I brushed them away with the back of my hand.  Leah made some rude gesture and pushed through the crowd of Quileute males to get outside.  Sam took her chair and brought it around in front of me, turning it backwards and straddling it to meet my gaze.  “We’ll help, you know that.”

“I know.”

The guys sort of converged, then, as if by some unspoken signal. They ate what Emily had fixed and each of them hugged me as if I were their own personal baby sister.  “We’re here for you, Bells.  You know we love you. Anything you need. Anything.”

 _Jacob... I need Jake..._

I could have anything but him.

* * *

  
Charlie hates Jake.  My old classmates who are still around hate Jake.  The waitresses snipe about him at the diner.  My co-workers want to send him microbes that we sometimes look at for our reports.  I just want him to be happy... I really do. 

And I want that red-headed, green-eyed girl to be comfortable.  I really do.  Even if she has the IQ of Lauren Mallory.  I just can’t bear to think of her in his bed. _Our_ bed. 

I shouldn’t have gone there yesterday. I shouldn’t have.  I’m an idiot.

Here in my apartment, way the hell away from Forks, I have a calendar on the wall.  Three and a half months and Edward will call.  He’ll call and we’ll set up a meeting and maybe he’ll be surprised when it’s here in Olympia instead of in Charlie’s backyard.

He’ll call. 

Will I be ready to see him again?  I don’t know, but I have three and a half months to work that out on my own. 

He’ll call. 


End file.
